Barkin: "If you do not like your lab partner, you CAN ask for a CHANGE."
*Ron breathes a sigh of relief*
Barkin: "I will of course say NO- it's part of the 'Life in Unfair' theme I am working into all curriculum."
STEVE BARKIN
Played By: Patrick Warburton
Role: The Only Teacher Seen
PL 3 (37)
STRENGTH 3
STAMINA 3
AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 3
DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1
AWARENESS 1
PRESENCE 0
Skills:
Expertise (Educator) 5 (+6)
Expertise (Military) 2 (+3)
Expertise (Retail) 4 (+5)
Intimidation 4 (+4)
Perception 2 (+3)
Stealth 1 (+2)
Advantages:
"Substitute Teacher" Beginner's Luck, Jack-Of-All-Trades
Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +1
Defenses:
Dodge +1 (DC 11), Parry +3 (DC 13), Toughness +3, Fortitude +4, Will +2
Complications:
Disabled (Beard Growth)- Barkin must shave nineteen times a day or grow a thick stubble quickly; and a full beard within hours.
Responsibility (Scholastics)- Barkin takes his job as an educator seriously. He also teaches the Pixie Scouts, running them like Army Rangers.
Hatred (Mutants)- Barkin finds genetic mutation to be both sick and wrong. Unfortunately for him, he has been mutated twice, turning into a Naked Mole-Man by DNAmy, and growing gills on account of exposure to Gill's toxic waste.
Rivalry (Ron Stoppable)- Barkin has an unusual amount of anmity towards Ron Stoppable- Ron believes that this stems from an incident in the 9th Grade in which Ron looked at him funny. While this is typical of Ron's somewhat delusional, paranoid behavior, Barkin later confesses that this is true.
Total: Abilities: 24 / Skills: 18--9 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 2 (37)
-One of the continuous problems "Teen Shows" (and "Teen Comics" as well) have is the fact that teaching staffs are ENORMOUS in real life, but casts need to be small in fiction, for many reasons- too many actors is expensive, too many characters is confusing for audiences, and too many characters also means there's too little focus on certain people. Kids Shows can get away with this, as there's typically one teacher per class (
Hey Arnold! and
Recess just have one teacher and one principal), but for TEENS... you kind of need a lot of them, or it doesn't make sense. Archie Comics actually has a very substantial supporting cast at Riverdale High, but generally will always default to Miss Grundy (who even directs the school plays, despite their being an "official" teacher for that role- Miss Hammly) unless it's science or sports.
-So
Kim Possible has a brilliant workaround- since it's a comedy, it can just throw in Mr. Barkin as a Substitute Teacher, and invent a humorous calamity for every single teacher who missed the class. As such, he is basically the ONLY teacher we ever see at Middleton High- going on field trips, teaching gym, coaching football, and more. It's a great running gag. And made all the better because Barkin is HILARIOUS.
-Barkin is, essentially, a sneering, grumpy, barrel-chested manly-man who acts as humorless as humanly possible... which makes it all the better when he's frequently humiliated. Bellowing "That is SICK... and WRONG!" in a way that only Patrick Warburton can deliver, he produces a lot of laughs on the show. He frequently rubs the kids the wrong way- he frequently both disregards Ron as a man ("The ideal man is big and/or strong- you are NEITHER"), insults his poor scholastic career, or otherwise gets grouchy at his antics. He even gets mad at Kim's frequent missions interfering with school work.
-Though it's funny, because his "tough but fair" approach is actually even-handed. He defers to Kim when super-villains attack the school, completely without shame, and even congratulates Ron for his epic cooking skills, and his natural ability to flee making him a great running back in football. He tends to panic in crises, which may be a result of PTSD from some past military action (he's a Lieutenant in... something). Paranoid, he often runs straight to conspiracy theory.
-Barkin is physically quite capable, but not all there mentally- he's PL 3, but easily victimized by the many
Kim Possible Rogues.