Jab’s Builds! (Swedish Chef! Gonzo! Rizzo! Pepe! Statler & Waldorf!)

Where in all of your character write ups will go.
Jabroniville
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Bird-Brain

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

BIRD-BRAIN
Created By:
Louise Simonson & Bret Blevins
First Appearance: The New Mutants #56 (Oct. 1987)
Role: The Jar-Jar Binks
PL 6 (58)
STRENGTH
3 STAMINA 4 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 8 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE -1 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Expertise (Survival) 4 (+3)
Intimidation 2 (+1)
Perception 4 (+3)

Advantages: 
Move-By Action

Powers:
Flight 5 (60 mph) (Flaws: Winged) [5]
Senses 3 (Extended & Acute Scent, Low-Light Vision) [3]
"Claws" Strength-Damage +1 (Feats: Split) [2]

Offense:
Unarmed +8 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Initiative +4

Defenses:
Dodge +8 (DC 18), Parry +8 (DC 18), Toughness +4, Fortitude +5, Will +4

Complications:
Motivation (Food!)- The Ani-Mates were trained using starvation as punishment- as such, most of them are obsessed with food, panicking if they can't locate any.
Relationship (The New Mutants)- Particularly Cypher, who was the first being Bird-Brain could properly communicate with.

Total: Abilities: 32 / Skills: 10--5 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 8 / Defenses: 10 (58)

-Bird-Brain himself is basically a shining example of how NOT to make a "Funny Macot" character- possibly even WORSE than Jar-Jar Binks, he's stupid for exactly the same reasons- a ridiculous design, idiotic behavior, and he constantly calls attention to himself by engaging in pratfalls or temper tantrums in every single scene he's involved in. Prone to panicking and obsessing over food (which included freaking out, squawking as loudly as possible, flailing around and charging everything in sight), Bird-Brain nonetheless becomes close to the New Mutants (especially Doug, who can actuall talk to him), and they agree to follow him around and help him. This sends them to The Ani-Mator's base, at which point Doug is shot and killed. Bird-Brain mourns, and decides to stay on his island with the other "Ani-Mates", trying to teach them appropriate behavior (such as not eating their fallen comrades, out of respect). Bird-Brain has only been seen or hinted at rarely since then (usually only in cameos or in shadows), such was the hatred this storyline created- one of my earliest memories upon learning that there was an X-Men fanbase online (back when it was difficult to find good fansites) was that people HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATED this guy, and the storyline that spawned him.

-Bird-Brain really is a perfect storm of garbage, however. Not only is he an exaggerated version of Jar-Jar (despite coming out years earlier), he commands all attention in every scene so you can't ignore him. Plus his design is ridiculous- somehow taking everything from birds and humans and combining the worst aspects of each. The ugliest part is his weird humanlike mouth at the tip of his beak... which is of course ALWAYS STICKING HIS TONGUE OUT, even when the mouth is closed. It's like they're TRYING to piss me off with this one.
Horsenhero
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Horsenhero »

If something positive could be said about Bird Brain, it would be that he does stand between Warlock and the "silliest design for a super-hero" award. It's not much, but it's something.
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HalloweenJack
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by HalloweenJack »

he even sort of resembles Jar Jar.....
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Batgirl III
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Batgirl III »

Horsenhero wrote: Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:00 pm Why did the Demon Bear move from fighting a Cheyenne to an Apache? Not because the bear is racist...because the writer is ignorant. I mean, they're all Native Americans, right? What's the difference?
Maybe it's because an extra-plannar daemonic being of pure evil doesn't really care about the ethnicity of his victims?

Dormammu has repeatedly clashed with Dr. Strange (a WASPy American), Scarlet Witch (a Jewish Roma), and Illyana Rasputin (a Russian Christian).

I meant they're all European, right?
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Jabroniville
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Jabroniville »

Shocked at the lack of comments for Dani, by the way :). Even Bird-Brain got more!
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by FuzzyBoots »

Horsenhero wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:22 am If something positive could be said about Bird Brain, it would be that he does stand between Warlock and the "silliest design for a super-hero" award. It's not much, but it's something.
Eh, I personally liked Warlock's design, less so his speech patterns. It's a busy design, and one prone to exaggeration, but it captured this idea of a creature that could be anything, and didn't quite get the whole humanity thing.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Horsenhero »

Batgirl III wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:44 am
Horsenhero wrote: Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:00 pm Why did the Demon Bear move from fighting a Cheyenne to an Apache? Not because the bear is racist...because the writer is ignorant. I mean, they're all Native Americans, right? What's the difference?
Maybe it's because an extra-plannar daemonic being of pure evil doesn't really care about the ethnicity of his victims?

Dormammu has repeatedly clashed with Dr. Strange (a WASPy American), Scarlet Witch (a Jewish Roma), and Illyana Rasputin (a Russian Christian).

I meant they're all European, right?
I see your point, but there's a slight difference. Dormammu is wholly a Lee/Ditko creation and thus is sort of "comic book generic", but Spirit Bears are part of quite a few Native-American mythologies and don't always have the same meaning for all. In some, like the Hiawatha myth, the Bear represents death, but in others it represents life and is cast in opposition to the Winter Spirit (which almost always represents death or something not good). So yeah, the Demon Bear could be generic evil spirit #4307, but it's cast in a form that is fairly specific in form as far as relating to Native-Americans, but not treated the same in each peoples' folklore.
Horsenhero
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Horsenhero »

FuzzyBoots wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:06 am
Horsenhero wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:22 am If something positive could be said about Bird Brain, it would be that he does stand between Warlock and the "silliest design for a super-hero" award. It's not much, but it's something.
Eh, I personally liked Warlock's design, less so his speech patterns. It's a busy design, and one prone to exaggeration, but it captured this idea of a creature that could be anything, and didn't quite get the whole humanity thing.
To each their own, but, since this is Jab's thread, I figured I would cleave to the history of personal preferences be stated unequivocally....and there's a few (okay, a bunch of) artistic choices Seinkewicz made on New Mutants that I unequivocally do not like.

Bird Boy, however, is an abomination that goes beyond "not liking".
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Batgirl III
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Batgirl III »

Okay, maybe Dormammu wasn't the best analogy. How about Mephisto?

Quite obviously inspired by Mephistopheles of German folklore. Most famously the Faust legend, but he appears in many other folktales and is the "go to" Satan stand in for medieval Germanic storytellers.

And yet this guy has fought damn near ever hero in the Marvel Universe. One of his most memorable comic stories has Mephisto in a duel of wits with T'Challa — the quintessentially African hero of the Marvel 'verse. He's also fought against Chinese, Japanese, and Native American heroes. Not to mention Captain Britain and Thor... Scandinavia and Britain are the same as German, right?

Let's not even get into Hercules and the Greco-Roman Pantheon.

My point is that demon/spirit/magic bears might be part of some Native American tribes' folklore, but this character isn't those demon/spirit/magic bears. He is the Demon Bear. As unique and distinct a character as Mephisto is from Mephistopheles, as Satanish is from Satan, as Morded the Evil is from Medraut, as Hercules is from Herakles, or Thor is from Thor.
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Horsenhero
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Horsenhero »

Batgirl III wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:38 am
My point is that demon/spirit/magic bears might be part of some Native American tribes' folklore, but this character isn't those demon/spirit/magic bears. He is the Demon Bear. As unique and distinct a character as Mephisto is from Mephistopheles, as Satanish is from Satan, as Morded the Evil is from Medraut, as Hercules is from Herakles, or Thor is from Thor*.
Then have him fight Frog-man or something. Having it only show up opposing Native-American characters, but with no regard for tribe says to me...it's a niche villain/monster thingie, but the writer fumbled his cultural literacy roll. I mean, what do they say in the movie "Thank You For Smoking"? It's an easy fix. One line of dialogue.

Or in this case, one time stalking a different X-Man. Like Doop. It could hunt and kill Doop and eat him all up, never to be seen again.

*Ha! I see what you did there.
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Batgirl III
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Batgirl III »

Well, he is a niche character... Firmly on the D-List. But it's the good half of the D-List, with characters who are really awesome... Just little used.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Ares »

Jabroniville wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2017 3:49 am Shocked at the lack of comments for Dani, by the way :). Even Bird-Brain got more!
Well, ask and you shall receive.

I'm not a fan of Dani. I don't dislike the character, and she's had some solid moments, but like you mentioned, a few of her defining character traits are being pointlessly rebellious, unnecessarily snarky and confrontational, and being casually racist to a degree. In short, she's got a lot of attributes I don't really care for, some of which frankly remind me of some of the current crop of "activists" in the world that are pointlessly upset about things and make things worse. She's not quite on the level of the idiots making "MTV's New Years Resolutions for White Guys" video, but there's just enough there to draw some parallels.

Again, I know that isn't all or even the most important parts of her character. She was also a strong leader, a capable fighter, capable of real compassion towards people, and pretty much fearless. Her taking on the Demon Bear was a great story, her willingness to do it herself said a lot of things about her, and she was a competent leader of the team. But at the same time, she's very abrasive, needlessly confrontational (with emphasis on the needlessly part). In some ways, she kind of reminds me of a female version of the Nu-52 "Shazam", but not as grating.

She did have some great character growth and a lot of cool things happen to her. I mean, a Native American with psychic powers becomes a Valkyrie? That's freaking awesome and frankly, more should have been done with that. She really did have a lot of potential, but she sadly has spent most of her time in comics limbo.

My favorite New Mutants were always Sam and 'Berto. I just liked the contrast between the two, with Sam being the nice, responsible guy and Sunspot was the confident Lothario. They played off each other well and were both likable in different ways.

I also thought Sunspot had one of THE best looks in comics, that solid black number as energy crackles around him. It gave him a unique, powered up look that worked well with a couple of costumes.

Image

Image

I hated it whenever anyone would actually draw details and shadings on 'Berto's powered up form, because the whole point was that he was actively absorbing visible light and this left him a mostly featureless black void, the only light being given off from his eyes and mouth.

I also liked that there was clearly a lot of ways the New Mutants could have evolved over time. Sunspot was a good example of that, eventually gaining comparable durability to his strength, the ability to release solar energy stores as energy blasts, the ability to release the energy in a way that let him fly, solar energy compensating for food, possibly even air, etc.

Cannonball occasionally had some power stunts that showed he could have been more versatile as well. In an X-Force/New Warriors fight, Sam extended his Blast Field outwards to shield his teammates from a grenade attack. That was a pretty awesome idea, and it could have made Sam a much more versatile team player, instead of "guy who flies at people and crashes into them". Given how some of his powers seemed to be based on kinetic energy, making him a sort of flying Speedball could have been an option.

I also hated it when Sam joined the X-Men and immediately became a "wet-behind the ears rookie", despite having about as much experience as many members of the team. This was a kid who had been a leader for a long time, faced off against the X-Men at least once, was an experienced tactician, etc. It actually would have been nice for Sam to, instead of being 'the rookie', actually be able to offer a different perspective due to his unique background, even surprising the other X-Men with his own insights. Not to Mary Sue levels, but enough to make everyone realize that Sam was a capable hero whose adventures during his formative years had shaped him into a capable hero. He could still be the "aw shucks" good ole boy we all love, but being an X-Man and a Superhero? That's where his confidence should have shined through.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Ares »

Regarding the Demon Bear and it going after Native Americans, I could see that sort of being just "it's thing". In a lot of works based on supernatural creatures, there's this idea that they're stuck in a kind of "ritual", things they do because that's the nature of who and what they are. The Demon Bear could basically be some American spirit of vengeance, torment or what have you, that torments all people from all of the tribes across the country. It could basically just be so set in its ways that it doesn't recognize non-Natives as even being important, because that's just the nature of the beast. It's also possible that the bear form is just what it uses for some individuals and takes other forms for others.

Of course, this could also lead to a possibility where the bear gets fed up with all of these "new people" in its land. Use it as an analogy for all the idiots in this country who keep complaining about all of the foreigners in this country while having zero self-awareness of how their own ancestors got here. Maybe even throw in some Avatar-esque (James Cameron, not the Airbending one) white guilt that Hollywood loves to use. Make it an opportunity to have a collection of people who are what America has come to be, a collection of people from diverse backgrounds who, under the law, are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and have the opportunity to be what they want. Finally put an end to the myth that Native Americans were all peace loving pacifists who never fought with each other, never killed anything and apparently just subsisted off of a one-ness with the land until white settlers came and screwed everything up for them.

Not saying that the arrival of white settlers DIDN'T screw things up for Native Americans, but it does everyone a disservice to paint them solely as victims, whether for the bad things they did do, the valiant struggle they put up, or the genuine victims of said atrocities.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Batgirl III »

I think it was Buffy the Vampire Slayer that best combined a monster loosely Native American mythology, the crappier parts of colonial history, modern white guilt, and snark into one grand story.

Long story short, Xander has accidentally roused an ancient native vegence spirit from its grave. The ghostly warrior has summoned allies and is besieging the Scooby Gang's Thanksgiving Dinner at Gile's apartment. The recently vampire, Spike, is the Scooby Gang's unwilling prisoner.
Spike: I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.

Willow: Uh, the preferred term is...

Spike: You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not goin' around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world is not people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story.

Buffy: Well, I think the Spaniards actually did a lot of - Not that I don't like Spaniards.

Spike: Listen to you. How you gonna fight anyone with that attitude?

Willow: We don't wanna fight anyone.

Buffy: I just wanna have Thanksgiving.

Spike: Heh heh. Yeah... Good luck.

Willow: Well, if we could talk to him...

Spike: You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Lila Cheney! Magma! Dani Moonstar! The Demon Bear!)

Post by Ares »

And I'm late to the party (the holidays and actually managing a website leaves less time to actually post), I wanted to add in a couple of things about Alpha Flight.

I like the idea of every major nation in the world having its own "Avengers" team. It just makes a lot of sense and creates more diversity in the setting.

The Guardian/Vindicator outfit is amazing. I think it tends to look better on Mac due to his wider frame showing it off more, but it was the perfect way to give Marvel Canada it's own Captain America.

John Byrne is an idiot sometimes. He complained about how he didn’t give the original Alpha Flight any personality, and then created new heroes to be more interesting. When as the writer, he essentially had a team of mostly blank slates! He could have given them as much backstory, history and personality as he wanted to flesh them out! If the original Alpha Flight was boring, it was because you never put any effort into giving them personality, Johnny boy, and then acted like it was somehow the creation’s fault you were a lazy idiot.

I have mixed feelings about Mac and Heather. On the one hand, I like the idea of Heather stepping up to be a hero, having a female patriotic leader type, showing her evolution into a competent hero. And again, I find John claiming that making Heather a superhero to be “cliché” laughable. Apparently he wanted her to stay at the base and give them directions via cameras and communicators. Because, you know, nothing says heroic like being an armchair quarterback.

At the same time, Mac being killed off to advance Heather’s growth as a hero is basically the male equivalent of “Women in refrigerators”. If Heather had been the hero first and she gets killed so that Mac could become the hero, people would have been pissed. If Heather was going to step up as leader and Mac had to step down, I would say have the last fight injure Mac too badly to be field leader for a while, Heather has to step up, and is a much more natural leader. Mac realizes this and steps down as leader permanently, either becoming the base scientist or maybe moving on to become the new Box.

I hated the whole “Aurora has multiple personalities” thing, because she had no business being on a superhero team if that was the case. The woman is legitimately mentally ill, and making one of the personalities an up-tight religious woman was just dumb. There had to be more ways to make her interesting than making her legit mentally ill.

Puck being retconned into a normal sized guy who is shrunk down to dwarf size is stupid. I would have just had him be a dwarf, but who sought training to deal with the pain his condition left him with, eventually becoming a martial arts master who used chi/body control to move the way he could despite his size, possibly with some iron body techniques to explain his toughness and hitting power. Basically a mini-sized Shang Chi.

Madison Jeffries and his brother were just insanely overpowered, though his ability to shape the Box armor into all kinds of weapons was cool. I probably would have limited his ability to certain types of materials and only while he was touching them, to keep it from being too extreme.
Snowbird having her powers limited to while she was in Canada was stupid. That just limits storytelling possibilities. They rightly got rid of that later. And she does have an awesome visual.

Sasquatch, I really felt for the poor guy. I have rarely seen someone get de-pushed as hard as that guy did. From starting out being an orange answer to the Hulk, to someone outright stated as being far weaker than Ben Grimm.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
- Captain Marvel SHAZAM! : Power of Hope (2000)

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