Jab’s Builds! (Lawnmower Man! Samus Aran! Metroids!)

[Jabroniville]

I've statted up the Rebels cast and the Original & Prequels before, only a couple of years ago. I was going to wait for the next big one to come out before statting up the Sequel characters and possibly Rogue One.

[DominusExMachina]

I've statted up the Rebels cast and the Original & Prequels before, only a couple of years ago.

I was talking about updated stats as well as new characters: a lot's happened in the last two years.

I was going to wait for the next big one to come out before statting up the Sequel characters and possibly Rogue One.

Fair enough. And let's not forget the upcoming Solo: A Star Wars Story...

[L-Space]

Ok corporate is finally out of the office so I can finally get back on echoes... aaaand I'm 8 pages behind. *sigh* There's going to be a bit of back posting, so sorry for the long post .

As someone who HATES the "huge jerkass who never gets his comeuppance" genre, and how writers just live vicariously through the vile actions of Rick, Roger the alien, and others, this is my favorite aspect of Cartman.

Cartman is probably the most well done TV asshole out there because like you said he's extreme, but gets enough retributive/kharmic punishment for it to even out. I'll admit I'm a fan of quite a few asshole characters, I will disagree with Rick not getting is comeuppance. They constantly show that he's constantly miserable and all the drugs, drinking, and asshole-ness is how he copes with it. I'm curious how you feel about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? They're all, purposefully, shown as being horrible people, but are rarely successful for all their antics.

BUTTERS (Leopold Stotch, aka Professor Chaos)

My favorite character in South Park, hands down.

MR. SLAVE

Grossest video game stage ever . Anyone who has beaten Stick of Truth knows what I'm talking about.

Also, this legit, actual memo will never not be funny:

That is amazing.

[Ares]

Also... huh. Finally saw the ending of Star Wars Rebels. It was always a bit of a "background noise" show for me, but it's had some pretty great moments here and there (Vader's battle; a lot of Thrawn's stuff). I think one of my favorite aspects is how it wasn't all Retcons & Bad-Asses- each member of the crew was GOOD, but there was none of that "real ultimate power" stuff going on- Bridger & Jarrus were never better than even Darth Maul, much less Vader. Hera was a great pilot, but not, like... the galactic LEGEND. Even the Mandalorian wasn't a huge ass-kicker. They were just a solid crew of PL 7-8 characters.

Yeah, as I've said, REBELS felt like someone's d6/WEG Star Wars RPG, where the characters were competent but not overpowered. Of the main heroes, Hera of all people was the one whose skills seemed the most "legendary", with all of her piloting stuff. Sabine was a Mandalorian, but wasn't an exceptional Mandalorian, just a competent one whose art kept getting them into trouble. And Zeb was a decent Wookie-stand in, but he wasn't an unstoppable powerhouse. Kanan and Ezra both had to work their butts off to attain the level of Jedi skill they displayed. Unlike other new Force users we could mention.

The series did a lot to show respect to established characters as well. Darth Vader was an absolute monster who they never really defeated so much as they managed to survive him, mostly through luck or Vader holding back. Tarkin and Thrawn were shown to be cunning and dangerous. Obi-Wan utterly demolished Maul verbally and then took the ex-Sith down in just three moves.

Ahsoka Tano being alive in the end was a bit silly, but oh well.

It was clear there was a lot of love for the Clone Wars series as well, a series that I felt did a better job of fleshing out Akanin and showing how he could be both a genuinely good person, but have the flaws that lead him to becoming Vader. I also like that they basically stated that Rex was that one bearded Rebel in Return of the Jedi, especially since you later see him disguised as a Storm Trooper.

Ahsoka surviving does feel a little like "Creator Pet" syndrome, but I'll give it to them. That's twice now they've had a series cut short. It's also weird that they would introduce something as huge as time travel to Star Wars right as the show is ending.

This 15-episode season wasn't the show's best- I feel like they kind of limped along to the end, shrinking back the scope so that it was "All Lothal" again, and that's not a great setting, in my opinion. All in all, it was good. I don't regret watching the show, and admire the work the creators put in.

That was kind of weird, and it felt like they had to work extra hard to make Lothal worth all of the effort, with the secret Jedi Temple and the new TIE factory and what not, which was stuff that the rest of the Rebellion honestly should have been brought in on. It's also weird to think that the Empire NEVER went back to Lothal, despite having around 5-to-8 years to do so before they lost.

I think a lot of fans were hoping for more Rogue One tie-ins, especially since we hear them call Hera's name during that film.

If anything, Rebels and the Clone Wars showed that there were eras rife with storytelling possibilities. In another sense, they show one reason why the new Star Wars Trilogy doesn't get a lot of love: The Clone Wars and REBELS felt very different from each other, despite being two Star Wars animated series focused on two galactic civil wars. They managed to feel like two very different conflicts. Meanwhile the new trilogy feels like they're just trying to redo the original trilogy without getting the core of why those films were successful.

[Jabroniville]

Cartman is probably the most well done TV asshole out there because like you said he's extreme, but gets enough retributive/kharmic punishment for it to even out. I'll admit I'm a fan of quite a few asshole characters, I will disagree with Rick not getting is comeuppance. They constantly show that he's constantly miserable and all the drugs, drinking, and asshole-ness is how he copes with it. I'm curious how you feel about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? They're all, purposefully, shown as being horrible people, but are rarely successful for all their antics.

AHHHHHH... I've a specific memory in that regard.

Running a "Best TV Characters" tournament on a site populated by trolls who LOVED attention, I put Frasier Crane up against Danny DeVito's character in the first round. "What are these two heavyweights doing against each other right away?" came the cry. I was like "WTF?", never having heard of this other show before. I mentioned I'd never seen it, only to see "This just confirms to me that you are a f*ggot" in the most plain, flat writing imaginable. OF COURSE a website full of pricks, trolls and assholes would be a fan of a show where everyone was brutal and mean! They reveled in the cruelty of the characters, and enjoyed how nobody learned any lessons!

So yeah, I resolved then and there, probably 5+ years ago now, to never watch a single episode of that show. Sorry to anyone who wanted to see builds .

[Jabroniville]

SADDAM HUSSEIN
Role: Evil Dictator, Manipulative Seducer
PL 4 (35), PL 5 (35) Defenses
STRENGTH 1 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 4 PRESENCE 4

Skills:
Deception 4 (+8, +13 Attractive)
Expertise (Dictator) 8 (+10)
Insight 2 (+6)
Persuasion 4 (+8)

Advantages:
Attractive 2, Daze (Deception)

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+1 Damage, DC 17)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +2, Fortitude +4, Will +6

Complications:
Relationship (Satan)- Saddam is attracted to Satan, but is largely an abusive, manipulative lover.
Motivation (Power)
Repuation (Villain)

Total: Abilities: 46 / Skills: 18--9 / Advantages: 3 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 8 (35)

-Another running gag, Saddam Hussein was initially just an enemy for Terrance and Phillip's TV show, which is why he had the "flapping head" look (before it became a live-action trait of Canadians). The performance ended up being so funny ("RELLLAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXX, guy! You need a rest!") that they used him again for the Movie & TV Show, as he reappeared as Satan's lover, frequently seducing him sexually and manipulating Satan into following his wishes. Satan finally realizes the depths of Saddam's lies and kills him. However, he pops up in Hell once more ("Where was I gonna go- Detroit?"), and re-seduces Satan, who finally leaves both Saddam and his new lover behind. He's also faked being the Prime Minister of Canada (to go along with Saddam's real-life capture by American forces). There are also unconfirmed reports that the real person was forced to watch South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut as a form of torture when he was captured by American forces in Iraq .

-Saddam is a pretty skilled fighter (he's able to easily kill Satan's new boyfriend Chris... repeatedly).

[L-Space]

Cartman is probably the most well done TV asshole out there because like you said he's extreme, but gets enough retributive/kharmic punishment for it to even out. I'll admit I'm a fan of quite a few asshole characters, I will disagree with Rick not getting is comeuppance. They constantly show that he's constantly miserable and all the drugs, drinking, and asshole-ness is how he copes with it. I'm curious how you feel about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? They're all, purposefully, shown as being horrible people, but are rarely successful for all their antics.

AHHHHHH... I've a specific memory in that regard.

Running a "Best TV Characters" tournament on a site populated by trolls who LOVED attention, I put Frasier Crane up against Danny DeVito's character in the first round. "What are these two heavyweights doing against each other right away?" came the cry. I was like "WTF?", never having heard of this other show before. I mentioned I'd never seen it, only to see "This just confirms to me that you are a f*ggot" in the most plain, flat writing imaginable. OF COURSE a website full of pricks, trolls and assholes would be a fan of a show where everyone was brutal and mean! They reveled in the cruelty of the characters, and enjoyed how nobody learned any lessons!

So yeah, I resolved then and there, probably 5+ years ago now, to never watch a single episode of that show. Sorry to anyone who wanted to see builds .

Wow, that sounds like a horrible community. While, I can understand that souring you on the show, I'd still recommend checking the show out. It's definitely not for everyone, but can be pretty damn funny at time. While the characters don't learn their lessons, they get almost always get their comeuppance, either from each other or their own ineptitude.

I think the best part about Saddam Hussein character is how absurd that high-pitched voice sounds coming from him.

[kreuzritter]

-Saddam is a pretty skilled fighter (he's able to easily kill Satan's new boyfriend Chris... repeatedly).

to be fair, it's Chris, whom I'd give better odds to Mr. Twig in a fight

[Jabroniville]

GEORGE LUCAS
Role: Violent Rapist
PL 5 (53)
STRENGTH 3 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Deception 5 (+6)
Expertise (Writing) 1 (+3)
Expertise (Directing) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Business) 11 (+13)
Intimidation 5 (+6)

Advantages:
Fast Grab, Improved Hold

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +3, Will +4

Complications: 
Obsession (Raping Indiana Jones)

Total: Abilities: 36 / Skills: 24--12 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (53)

-Oh God, this episode. So the boys are suffering from incredible guilt- some are practically non-functional. The reason? They all witnessed a dear friend getting raped, and did nothing to stop it. They go through all of the classic signs of guilt and shame, culminating in the exact circumstances... they watched Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull. "ALIENS DON'T BELONG IN AN INDIANA JONES MOVIE?!?" screams Stan, after dragging a screaming Kyle out of the theatre ("WHY ARE THEY DOING THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!?!?!?"). But the guilt the boys feel leaves them to finally seek out the police. Sgt. Yates is suspicious, but goes to the only officer who's seen the picture... and the man is seen staring out the window, morose and despondent as hell.

-This is side-splitting stuff- going as far to accuse a shitty sequel as being equivalent to the rape of a fictional character... and then they also SHOW LITERAL RAPING, as Indie is confronted by George Lucas & Steven Spielberg- the film's producers- who replicate several rape scenes from Hollywood movies ("SQUEAL LIKE A PIG!!! WWEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!") by holding down a helpless Indie, stripping him, and raping him while he screams. And then we get THAT CLOSE-UP of Lucas. Just crosses the line, finds another line BEHIND that line, and crosses it again while flipping off anyone who's disgusted. Just magnificent, horrible, beautiful stuff.

-Lucas is... an iffy director & writer. A good producer, though. Man made some savvy-ass business decisions in his life, too. And he's got some really good grappling moves... apparently. *sniff* poor Indie...

[Jabroniville]

STEVEN SPIELBERG
Role: Violent Rapist
PL 5 (61)
STRENGTH 3 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Deception 5 (+6)
Expertise (Writing) 1 (+3)
Expertise (Directing) 14 (+16)
Expertise (Business) 5 (+7)
Intimidation 5 (+6)

Advantages:
Fast Grab, Improved Hold, Ultimate Director

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +3, Will +4

Complications: 
Obsession (Raping Indiana Jones)

Total: Abilities: 40 / Skills: 30--15 / Advantages: 3 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (61)

-Spielberg is similar to Lucas, but is 100 times the Director. I mean... he's Steven Spielberg. You wanna be awed, you go with Spielberg. There's like five scenes in Jurassic Park alone that fit into the Top Twenty scenes of all time.

[L-Space]

-Lucas is... an iffy director & writer. A good producer, though. Man made some savvy-ass business decisions in his life, too. And he's got some really good grappling moves... apparently. *sniff* poor Indie...

This coming from a major Star Wars fan, George Lucas needs to be left strictly as an "idea guy" who has a strong editor and/or script doctor to polish everything up. There's a reason that what many people (me included) feel is the the best Star Wars film, Empire Strikes Back, doesn't have him listed as a screenwriter or director .

Steven Spielberg on other hand is of course amazing, though I feel like his recent stuff has been slightly wanting.

[danelsan]

Steven Spielberg on other hand is of course amazing, though I feel like his recent stuff has been slightly wanting.

Yeah...I'm wondering if current Spielberg will make something worthwhile out of such an mediocre-with-some-legitimately-terrible-parts book like Ready Player One.

[HalloweenJack]

Cartman is probably the most well done TV asshole out there because like you said he's extreme, but gets enough retributive/kharmic punishment for it to even out. I'll admit I'm a fan of quite a few asshole characters, I will disagree with Rick not getting is comeuppance. They constantly show that he's constantly miserable and all the drugs, drinking, and asshole-ness is how he copes with it. I'm curious how you feel about It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? They're all, purposefully, shown as being horrible people, but are rarely successful for all their antics.

AHHHHHH... I've a specific memory in that regard.

Running a "Best TV Characters" tournament on a site populated by trolls who LOVED attention, I put Frasier Crane up against Danny DeVito's character in the first round. "What are these two heavyweights doing against each other right away?" came the cry. I was like "WTF?", never having heard of this other show before. I mentioned I'd never seen it, only to see "This just confirms to me that you are a f*ggot" in the most plain, flat writing imaginable. OF COURSE a website full of pricks, trolls and assholes would be a fan of a show where everyone was brutal and mean! They reveled in the cruelty of the characters, and enjoyed how nobody learned any lessons!

So yeah, I resolved then and there, probably 5+ years ago now, to never watch a single episode of that show. Sorry to anyone who wanted to see builds .

Herochat?

[Jabroniville]

Yup- worst job ever. Tons of work, zero pay, and on a troll-happy site, so it was non-stop heckling. "Asshole Shows" like It's Always Sunny and Rick & Morty feed and encourage that behavior, and contribute to making the world a worse, meaner, uglier place. I absolutely hate them.

[Jabroniville]

SCOTT MALKINSON (aka Captain Diabetes)
Role: Background Character

Complications: 
Disabled (Lisp)
Disabled (Diabetes)
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: 32 / Skills: 38--19 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 1 / Defenses: 9 (65)

-You can tell Matt & Trey "get" kids when a side character like Scott Malkinson shows up, and everyone immediately makes fun of him by going "Hi there, I'm Scott Malkinson and I have diabetes". That is ABSOLUTELY the kind of shit kids did to each other all the time when I was in school. His roles are entirely minor, usually meant to represent an "uncool" kid.