Jab’s Builds! (Lawnmower Man! Samus Aran! Metroids!)

[Jabroniville]

RATATOUILLE (2007):
Written by: Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava & Jim Capobianco

-This movie easily has the worst, most idiotic concept I've ever heard in my entire life- a RAT WHO'S OBSESSED WITH COOKING, and controls an adult male into becoming a famous chef by... pulling in strands of his hair to utilize his muscle movements? It's COMPLETELY STUPID.

So of course the movie is great. Such is the case when Brad Bird gets involved with things. The whole idea was invented by Jan Pinkava in 2000, but Pixar lost confidence in him and replaced him with Bird five years later. Bird's outlandish demands (he changed the rats from quadrupedal to bipedal, which required re-rigging the entire CGI model) were of course met, and the story elements were changed. Ultimately, what was created was more or less an explanation of what it's like to create ART- to be someone who wants to make beautiful things and not simply do what everyone else is doing. This feeling, plus the images of Paris, and the FANTASTIC antagonist of Anton Ego, made the movie very well-liked.

I actually enjoyed this more on the second watch, as you notice a few of the little things. It isn't PERFECT, mind you: Remy himself (played by comedian Patton Oswalt) is a bit of a Generic Disney Outsider (his stern father is uncertain and unconvinced about Remy's potential as a great chef, being that he's a rat and they eat garbage), and Linguini doesn't really have a strong arc at all (he never really gets the focus or introspection required, so you don't really buy his search for an identity). The villainous chef almost seems unnecessary to the story. But SO MANY of the characters are good. Cosette in particular has a great design- she's odd-looking, large-nosed and definitely not an "Ugly Guy; Hot Wife" situation, yet is strangely pretty and is fun- I LOVED her mnemonic device- "Clean your space, or I WILL KILL YOU!" Anton Ego, of course, dominates every single scene he's in, given the presence and reputation of goddamn MALEFICENT even though he's some skinny food critic.

So conceptually, the film is incredibly bizarre to the point of being distracting (they couldn't really find ANY OTHER WAY of having a rat cook?), but manages to do a lot of stuff right. And I got a kick out of watching an Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown set in Lyon, France, and seeing a restaurant that is CLEARLY the basis for Gusteau's here.

Reception & Cultural Impact:
-The movie made $620 million at the box office, which is pretty "Standard Pixar" (though their typical numbers are climbing due to inflation and 3D being more popular), and it was of course wildly popular. It didn't make any stars or cultural icons, but Ego proved very memorable, and the movie was very well-liked in France, where the ONE GOOD RIDE in Disney's "Studios" theme park (a park so bad that even *I* ran out of shit to do by 12 pm) is a 3D Dark Ride set to screens. EPCOT's World Showcase will be building a clone of it sometime in 2021.

[Spectrum]

I've always liked this answer for the origin

[Jabroniville]

Anton Ego: You are Monsieur Linguini?
Linguini: Uh, hello.
Anton Ego: Pardon me for interrupting your premature celebration, but I thought it only fair to give you a sporting chance as you are new to this game.
Linguini: Uh... game?
Anton Ego: Yes, and you've been playing without an opponent, which is, as you may have guessed... against the rules.
Linguini: [awed] You're... Anton Ego.
Anton Ego: [sarcastic] You're slow for someone in the fast lane.
Linguini: [a little nervously] And you're... thin, for someone who likes food.
[crowd gasps]
Anton Ego: I don't *like* food; I LOVE it. If I don't love it, I don't *swallow*.
[Linguini swallows nervously]
Anton Ego: [turns to leave] I will return tomorrow night with high expectations. Pray you don't disappoint me.

---

In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.

But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the *new*. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends. Last night, I experienced something new: an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core.

In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto, "Anyone can cook." But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist; but a great artist *can* come from *anywhere*. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.

ANTON EGO
Played By: Peter O'Toole
Role: The Best Disney Villain in Years
PL 0 (40), PL 3 (40) Defenses, PL 6 (40) Critic
STRENGTH -1 STAMINA -1 AGILITY -1
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 4 AWARENESS 4 PRESENCE 4

Skills:
Expertise (Food) 12 (+16)
Insight 2 (+6)
Intimidation 6 (+10)
Persuasion 4 (+8)

Advantages:
Benefit 2 (Wealth), Benefit 1 (Fearsome Reputation)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
Initiative -1

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness -1, Fortitude +0, Will +5

Complications:
Hatred (Chef Gusteau)- Ego is disgusted by Ego's sentiment that "anyone can cook", and destroyed him with a negative review.
Responsibility (Massive Ego)- Ego is well-named- he is insulted when Gusteau's becomes popular once more, having written the "final word" on it years ago. He appears to hold everyone around him in contempt.
Reputation (Nasty Critic)- Ego is greatly feared by restauranteurs everywhere- a word from him can take a star off of the greatest restaurant.
Responsibility (Great Food)- Ego insists that he does not merely LIKE food- he LOVES it.

Total: Abilities: 22 / Skills: 24--12 / Advantages: 3 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (40)

-Not since Maleficent has a villain walked into a room and OWNED IT with this sheer sense of utter malevolence and reputation. That Ratatouille did this with a frickin' elderly RESTAURANT CRITIC is proof of the abilities of both Pixar and Brad Bird.

-Probably the most memorable part of Ratatouille is Peter O'Toole's stunning turn as the nasty, Nosferatu-like food critic Anton Ego. A scrawny yet intimidating man, he appears like a spectre in several parts of the story, and makes the most out of a fairly small amount of screen time. He's responsible for dropping one star from Gusteau's restaurant thanks to a nasty review, and he's AGOG at the idea of the restaurant becoming POPULAR once more, having written the "final word" about it years ago. And so he stalks towards the new chef (Linguini), his reputation having preceded him. And he gets some AMAZING lines here- when Linguini (who treats Ego very casually) mutters "Well you're very skinny for someone who likes food!", the entire audience gasps, while a looming Ego profoundly states "I don't LIKE food- I. LOVE. IT. And if I DON'T love it... I don't SWALLOW."

-Later on, he basically makes the maitre'd piss his pants with another brand of verbal bullying ("Tell him to HIT ME WITH. HIS. BEST. SHOT."), but is himself stunned by the offering- a "peasant's dish" which brings him back to his very childhood, as his doting mother gives him a special meal to make him feel better. And Ego actually takes the discovery of Remy in stride, and writes a HUGE diatribe that is essentially a good-natured jab at critics everywhere ("negative criticism is fun to WRITE, and to READ" he notes, adding "the average piece of JUNK is more worthwhile than my SAYING it's so"), which is ironic considering it's from the most well-reviewed studio basically anywhere. The movie casually writes off his career as "ruined" once rats are discovered in the kitchen, but the apparently wealthy critic instead funds a NEW restaurant, specially designed for the movie's cast, in which he happily eats every day.

About the Performer: I was a bit stunned when reading the cast list after my mom asked who played this character- PETER O'TOOLE!?! I mean, I had no idea Lawrence of Arabia was still even alive! He was actually only in his seventies for this film, but he really brought the full force of his multiple decades of acting- elderly actors are usually the best ones. His major break was of course in 1962's Lawrence, which made him a star. He did a lot of Shakespeare, and has EIGHT Academy Award nominations, which is close to the record.

[Jabroniville]

WALL-E (2008):
Written by: Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon & Pete Docter

-About as clear a "Doing it for the ART" film as you're likely to find from a major studio. Totally a movie about style and the power of quiet moments, but isn't afraid to go for the slapstick. Also totally heroic while mocking Wal-Mart and how society is getting fatter all the time with some social commentary. Going to Disneyland and seeing the armada of balaenopteran masses in their Meat Wagons makes the scenes with the obese future humans in their motorized flight tubs all the more prescient.

The movie is about a solitary robot whose been charged with cleaning up the wasteland that Earth has become (ALONE?). When the nicer-looking, curvy robot EVE arrives, its "directive" is meant to check on Wall-E's progress. Ultimately, the two end up on the home-ship of the humans, who have evolved into immobile fatties being pushed around on hoverchairs- in a moment of great heroism, the ship's captain takes his first athletic steps to the sounds of Also Sprang Zarathustra, and humanity works with the robots to replenish and reawaken their dead home.

Reception & Cultural Impact:
-The movie did only PRETTY well by Pixar standards (a mere $500 million+), but was VERY well-respected, earning awards out the wazoo and being on nearly every critic's Top Ten List for that year. It was criticized a bit of an anti-corporate message (though conservative pundits noted that the movie roundly criticized the idea of a government/society simply giving the populace everything they wanted, thus making them weak), and ESPECIALLY by "Fat Acceptance" groups who were offended by the negative way in which obesity was seen as the ultimate end of the sloth & greed that had afflicted mankind. But, of course, these are the same groups that roundly (hee-hee) deny that being overweight is unhealthy, so THERE.

[Goldar]

I've always liked this answer for the origin

Oooh, a slimy slug in the brand new car! But at least we know where the eyes and mouth come from!

[Shock]

CARS (2006):
Their world doesn't make sense (who BUILDS them? Why is EVERYTHING a vehicle?)

How come Bambi can talk? How come nobody notices toys in different places every time they enter a room? That's just the way that world is. Don't over-analyze kids movies. It's a funny diversion but hardly a credible criticism of the movie

[Jabroniville]

UP (2009):
Written by: Bob Peterson, Pete Docter & Tom McCarthy

-The opening 15 minutes contains the stats Affliction 20 (Will; Dazed/Stunned/Transformed to Inconsolable All-Consuming Sadness) (Extras: Area- Visual Perception) (Flaws: Limited to People With Souls). HOLY CRAP WAS THAT HEART-BREAKING. Good film, too, but I wasn't quite as taken with it as some, because it segues to Generic Wilderness Adventure for a good bit (I didn't really get the whole "Charles Lindbergh goes insane and there's giant birds everywhere" plot). Honestly, it feels like it deserves the Oscar just for that first fifteen, and the rest is just "filler". It's a good showing of one man's despondence at growing old and alone, and it's neat how he finds a surrogate family in Russell.

Reception & Cultural Impact:
-Few movies have ever become famous for being good THIS QUICKLY- word spread about THAT GODDAMN BEGINNING like wildfire, to the point where it became the most iconic "This Will Make You Ugly Cry" scene in movie history within a month of its opening. Dug became famous as well, as his "Stupid Dog Speech" became the best example humanity had ever seen of how dogs come across to people ("SQUIRREL!"). The movie was a phenomenal smash, making $200 million more than WALL-E and $100 million more than Tangled would the following year. Despite that, its effect on the rest of pop culture was fairly small- there are Meet & Greets of the characters in some Disney Parks, but you won't see much Merch or many movies ripping it off at all.

[Jabroniville]

CARS (2006):
Their world doesn't make sense (who BUILDS them? Why is EVERYTHING a vehicle?)

How come Bambi can talk? How come nobody notices toys in different places every time they enter a room? That's just the way that world is. Don't over-analyze kids movies. It's a funny diversion but hardly a credible criticism of the movie

Bambi and other stories are about animals and life in the forest and junk- they talk because we need to understand them. Cars could be about people racing and nothing would change. They’re not even really symbolic, like the characters in Robin Hood being certain animals. It’s just... a pointless gimmick. And since nobody has hands, nothing about the world really gels. I can put up with plot holes like “Why does Buzz freeze if he doesn’t think he’s a toy?” Or “why didn’t Ariel just write to Eric?”, but the ENTIRE SERIES is about talking cars in an otherwise normal world- I just can’t look past it.

[Jabroniville]

BRAVE (2012):
Written by: Brenda Chapman, Mark Andrews, Steve Purcell & Irene Mecchi

-Brave is Pixar's first (and only) attempt at a "Princess" movie (and their first with a female protagonist), and one of the few Pixar releases that fits the Disney Formula quite well, with the rebellious "I want something MORE" Princess rejecting authority, this time with a red-haired tomboy on an archery/adventure kick, and a stodgy, stick-in-the-mud mother. It's a solid little film, really, but comes nowhere near the greatness expected of the top Pixar releases (ie. Toy Story, Wall-E, The Incredibles), but is a bit above the mediocre/crap releases (ie. freaking Cars- UP YOURS, CARS!!!). A lot of the tale is a bit by-the-numbers, surrounding Merida's rebellion against her mum's forceful "You must be a feminine Princess" mentality, accidentally turning her into a bear, fighting off a Demon Bear (not the pants-crapping Marvel version, but this one's still pretty scary), etc.

The animation is BEYOND gorgeous, as is usual for Pixar. The backgrounds are all "ooh Scotland be pretty, yo", there's this scene in a river which took a TON of effort to turn into something realistic (and of course most people would completely gloss that over, because rivers are standard backgrounds in regular movies- but the sheer work to turn 3-D polygons into a WORKABLE RIVER would be astonishing- the scene wastes a few minutes of screen-time, so is ENTIRELY there just to show off), and Merida's hair is a wonder unto itself. Baby Merida may be the single embodiment of "D'AWWWWWWWWW!" when she runs around with a giant mop of hair and a big head, then goes "I missed" when she shoots her mini-bow. Merida's dad (Billy Connoly) is hilarious, and defines the whole Ugly Guy/Hot Wife dynamic with Queen Elinor (I made that trope for a reason, people)- funnily enough it's now the page image at TV Tropes. There's tons of Man-butt in here, a Disney first I think, which of course passes the censors because they're males and therefore isn't sexual because nobody can find male nudity threatening.

The whole "Mother/Daughter" bonding thing is new, at least, especially since most Disney Princess are sans-Maternal Figure. There's some cute stuff when they try to get along when mum is on the run from the Bear-hating daddykins, but it almost suffers from the usual "One Day Love Story" thing that Disney (and Broadway, as I've gone into before) utilizes- instead of a love story, we get the "they eventually appreciate each other" story taking place over basically one 24-hour period. Other unique attributes- the Big Bad is a non-speaking role, and there is NO LOVE INTEREST/BIG KISS FINALE. That alone separates it from the Princess Pack.

The movie has a lot of the whole "Men Dumb & Funny/Women Smart & Not Fun" thing that's so popular with sitcoms these days. It's been accused of sexism because the men are all dumb, ugly louts (the writer of The End of Men scoffed and implied the movie was written by a man-hating "cabal"), but since they're the only ones who seem to have ANY sort of fun, I'd argue that the whole "wimmen are boring bring-downs" thing is just as bad for sexism . And the little triplets are probably the smartest characters in the whole thing, too.

In all, pretty good. It feels a bit too much like a shameless attempt at the fundage of the "Disney Princess" franchise- Merida joins their ranks fully in 2013, and Disneyland featured her heavily when I was there in 2012. Pretty good, quite funny, some cool dark/villain scenes, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Reception & Cultural Impact:
-Brave was a big, mid-tier Pixar-level hit, making about $100 million less than Tangled- somewhere over $500 million+. Disappointly, it was beaten that year by TWO other animated features- both the latest Ice Age AND Madagascar movies beat it, which had to sting, since those are generally considered to be garbage. Critically, it did pretty well, but weak for a Pixar film- only about 76% on Rotten Tomatoes, compared to the 90% Tangled and Frozen, it's closest contemporaries, would get.

The movie is the Disney company's most nakedly Feminist film, with a BIG "F" (as opposed to Frozen's "small f" version), so it got some attention for that- criticism, like I said, was levied because it treats men like ugly morons and women as these smart, attractive creatures- it's probably one of the more exaggerated examples of that ever. Merida herself got a lot of attention at first, but a lot of people found her bratty, and when they dolled her up for the Disney Princess line, it drew ANOTHER bunch of controversy (you ever wonder why they DON'T BOTHER and just make everyone ultra-feminine to start with? That's why), but nonetheless, there she is in the Princess line.

[Spectrum]

This brings a good smile for me. WeeScottishLass (a cute Scottish lass that I can barely explain) explaining how Merida (another cute Scottish lass) was perfectly understandable in her Wreckit Ralph II ad.

Edit: I'm rewatching it now. WeeScottishLass is explaining that Merida being unintelligible in the ad isn't really offensive to Scotts.

[Scots Dragon]

Speaking as a Scottish person, she's nae unintelligible.

[M4C8]

Speaking as a Scottish person, she's nae unintelligible.

Apparently the original Trainspotting movie had English subtitles when it was released in the US

[Spectrum]

Sorry, I'm having some trouble following you. Was that nae or nigh?

[Jabroniville]

For some reason, Merida Face Characters are usually their cutest.

[Jabroniville]

MERIDA
Played by: Kelly MacDonald
Role: Disney Princess, Tomboy, Archer
PL 7 (80)
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 5 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Acrobatics 4 (+8)
Athletics 8 (+7)
Deception 2 (+5)
Expertise (Survival) 6 (+6)
Perception 5 (+5)
Persuasion 3 (+6)
Ranged Combat (Archery) 4 (+11)

Advantages:
Benefit (Princess), Equipment 2 (Sword +2, Bow & Arrow- Blast 3), Grab Finesse, Great Endurance, Improved Aim, Improved Critical (Bow), Improved Disarm, Improved Smash, Minion 4 (Angus- Horse), Quick Draw, Ranged Attack 7

Equipment:
"Bow & Arrow" Blast 3 (6) -- (7 points)

• AE: "Sword" Strength-Damage +2 (Feats: Improved Critical) (3)

Offense:
Unarmed +5 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Sword +5 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Bow & Arrow +11 (+3 Ranged Damage, DC 18)
Initiative +4

Defenses:
Dodge +8 (DC 18), Parry +8 (DC 18), Toughness +1, Fortitude +3, Will +6

Complications:
Motivation (Freedom)- Mérida chafes under rules, and wants to explore and have fun adventures. She rejects the idea of a male suitor coming to marry her, especially once she sees the sorry lot she's up against.
Relationship (Queen Elinor)- Mérida especially has problems with her mother, who insists the Princess be lady-like and delicate, puts her under all sorts of rules, and rejects her individuality. Mérida gets so angry that she tears her mother's handmade tapestry, being all symbolic of the tear in their relationship and junk.
Enemy (Mor'du)- The evil bear haunts Scotland, and confronts Mérida twice in her life.

Total: Abilities: 28 / Skills: 32--16 / Advantages: 21 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 15 (80)

-Mérida is a mix of tomboy and cliched Disney Princess material, wanting to run and play and feel the breeze through her hair, and reject her suitors and mother. She's pretty much defined by her rivalry with Queen Elinor, but once they have to survive together in the forest and fight Mordun the bear, they made nice and learn to get along, thus healing the rift between them.

-Merida has all of the classic "Archer" tropes down pat, including hitting targets while riding on horseback, splitting already-bullseye'd arrows, etc. And so, she earns PL 7 status, despite being hardly that capable otherwise- she's a great fighter, but she's much too young to overly challenge most people, being able to stop her father's blade a couple of times, and her defenses are notably poor as well. She'll probably be a little tougher when she's older, but for now this "wee lassie" isn't that tough.

About the Performer: Kelly McDonald is one of those actresses who's often in "Respectable" stuff. She was in No Country For Old Men and a bunch of other stuff I've never seen, and was on Boardwalk Empire as Nucky's wife for the entire run of the show. Oh hey, and she was that cute brunette in Trainspotting.