Jab’s Builds! (Lawnmower Man! Samus Aran! Metroids!)

[Devastation Bob]

Ah, so this is where everyone went. Carry on.

[Shock]

I'll admit that it's been a while since I rode a motorcycle, but I think these people are doing it wrong. The only person actually sitting on it is sharing the handlebars with someone standing behind him, and none of them have their hands on the throttle. This is seriously one of the dumbest single images I've ever seen in a comic.

There actually seem to be two sets of handlebars. Blonde ponytail guy in the Member's Only jacket seems to be holding onto a set of handlebars connected to the rear wheel of a motorcycle...

That's actually two motorcycles. And there's a third in the lower right of the picture. If you could somehow turn this into a 3d image, I'm sure all the bikes would be grossly malformed.

I just love "Together they are not alone!"

[Batgirl III]

"And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future."

[HalloweenJack]

meh. I kinda liked the Skrull Kill Krew series back in the day. Just different things happening in different niches, sorta like how I can enjoy Superman and Vertigo stuff.

and I liked how Cap showed up. sure they did the usual Ryder giving him shit for representing America given all the atrocities here over the years and Cap doing the usual "that's not everyone' spiel. meh.

BUT it did have a moment with Cap that I'm like "yeah....yeah I can see that". Cap's waiting in an airport (in full costume) and is passing the time by playing peekaboo with a little boy who may have been mentally challenged and is just genuinely happy to make the kid smile and laugh.

[Goldar]

There actually seem to be two sets of handlebars. Blonde ponytail guy in the Member's Only jacket seems to be holding onto a set of handlebars connected to the rear wheel of a motorcycle...

LOL--"Members Only" jackets! Yeah, I remember them. Everyone had one back then.

I have a neighbor who still wears his MO jacket.

He is 88. He got his in '88. Typical red one. Just like in the pic. That looks like him!

[Ares]

Agree to the Nth degree with Jab and Batgirl on this one. Far too often, magic-users/sorcerers fall into the "hand-wave/deus ex machina" category of super-powers, allowing them to solve just about any plot problem...but only when the writer is ready to wrap up the story, conveniently being unable to work the right spell until then. This applies not only to straight-up magic-based characters but also figures such as the Silver Age Green Lanterns, whose rings basically allowed them to do anything authors needed, just so long as it didn't involve the color yellow.

Such characters CAN work, so long as they are given a focus for their powers and reasonable limitations on what they can actually pull off in terms of effects; for example, a Dr. Fate whose spells are all rooted in Ancient Egyptian mythology/mysticism is much easier to deal with as a character than one who can cast any sort of spell any given writer can think up. The exception would be someone like Dr. Strange, who as Sorcerer Supreme is supposed to be something of a game-breaker, but even then there should be SOME parameters about what the power-set actually can and cannot do.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: comic writers need to take a page from Jim Butcher's Dresden Files and have rules for magic. Butcher's magic system is extremely flexible, powerful, yet also has consistent rules, so consistent in fact that they have become plot points that the reader can use to solve a mystery. The shared toybox nature of comics would require more editorial oversight in order to make it work, but the settings as a whole would benefit from it. Greg Weisman did some similar stuff over in Gargoyles, where magic had a lot of power, but the most powerful and far reaching effects had an "out" in order to solidify them and save power for the caster.

Oh, and quick aside-yeah, Jab, I agree with you about the snooty attitude a few British comic book writers have taken on super-heroes (Grant Morrison isn't actually one of these, to his credit); given a LOT of the stuff they do like (and like to write, for that matter) is equally outlandish, it just comes off as cultural snobbery.

The absolutely maddening thing about guys like Millar and Ennis is that they seem to love making fun of superheroes . . . but just as often have an extreme reverence for Superman. Ennis has even written some really great takes on Superman, when his other work seems dedicated to bashing superheroes in general. It's insane. If you like Superman, you think you'd like other heroes as well, right?

[FuzzyBoots]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: comic writers need to take a page from Jim Butcher's Dresden Files and have rules for magic. Butcher's magic system is extremely flexible, powerful, yet also has consistent rules, so consistent in fact that they have become plot points that the reader can use to solve a mystery. The shared toybox nature of comics would require more editorial oversight in order to make it work, but the settings as a whole would benefit from it. Greg Weisman did some similar stuff over in Gargoyles, where magic had a lot of power, but the most powerful and far reaching effects had an "out" in order to solidify them and save power for the caster.

Writing Excuses has some excellent description of when you create Functional Magic and when you create Unexplainable Magic. Well, several podcasts on the subject really (Unfortunately, not very well tagged, although Howard Tayler does attempt "Tayler's First Law" involving magic and donkeys in the next entry). And yes, one of the people involved is Brandon Sanderson who is fond of invoking Sanderson's Laws.

Long story short, introduce rules if you want your characters to innovate and use magic as a tool. Don't use rules if magic is a mystery, particularly if the people using it don't realize the rules and consequences. Or, as Sanderson put it, "An author’s ability to solve conflict with magic is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to how well the reader understands said magic."

[L-Space]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: comic writers need to take a page from Jim Butcher's Dresden Files and have rules for magic. Butcher's magic system is extremely flexible, powerful, yet also has consistent rules, so consistent in fact that they have become plot points that the reader can use to solve a mystery. The shared toybox nature of comics would require more editorial oversight in order to make it work, but the settings as a whole would benefit from it. Greg Weisman did some similar stuff over in Gargoyles, where magic had a lot of power, but the most powerful and far reaching effects had an "out" in order to solidify them and save power for the caster.

Ah, you beat me to referencing Dresden Files, Ares.

Writing Excuses has some excellent description of when you create Functional Magic and when you create Unexplainable Magic. Well, several podcasts on the subject really (Unfortunately, not very well tagged, although Howard Tayler does attempt "Tayler's First Law" involving magic and donkeys in the next entry). And yes, one of the people involved is Brandon Sanderson who is fond of invoking Sanderson's Laws.

Long story short, introduce rules if you want your characters to innovate and use magic as a tool. Don't use rules if magic is a mystery, particularly if the people using it don't realize the rules and consequences. Or, as Sanderson put it, "An author’s ability to solve conflict with magic is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to how well the reader understands said magic."

Huh, I've never read anything by Brandon Sanderson, but I'll definitely have to check out that podcast. Sounds like they would have some interesting stuff.

[Jabroniville]

Well, I'm pretty sure the guys in the pic are flying through the air, which explains the lack of throttle-holding. And given that everybody's all flying around and barely touching their motorcycles, "realism" wasn't the order of the day anyhow .

I've never heard of a Member's Only Jacket. How can you tell that's what they're wearing?

re: Magic. Probably impossible to keep any sort of "rules" straight in a story as wide as what Marvel or DC tell. I mean, which Editor do you put in charge of "Magic"? Human error, willful ignorance, and "I'm the writer! I wanna do what *I* wanna do!" are all far too powerful forces in an industry with dozens of writers working on a line at once. I mean, the Dresdenverse can pull it off because it's like ONE GUY writing it. At Marvel or DC, you'd have to keep that stuff up for YEARS.

[Jabroniville]

SKRULL X
Created By: Marv Wolfman & Keith Pollard
First Appearance: Fantastic Four #204 (March 1979)
Role: Kill-O-Bot With Personality
PL 10 (189)
STRENGTH 12 STAMINA -- AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 8 DEXTERITY 4
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Expertise (Space Soldier) 5 (+7)
Intimidation 3 (+5)
Perception 2 (+3)

Advantages:
Accurate Attack, Fast Grab, Ranged Attack 4, Withstand Damage (Trade Defenses For Toughness)

Powers:
"Skrull-Built Tech"
Morph 4 (Any Form) [20]
Shapeshift 1 [8]

"Android"
Immunity 30 (Fortitude Effects) [30]
Protection 12 (Extras: Impervious 7) [19]

"Some of the FF's Powers... Plus a Laser"
Flame Aura 4 [12]
Flight 6 (120 mph) [6]

Fire Blast 10 (Feats: Variable- Laser or Fire, Dynamic) (22) -- [23]

• Dynamic AE: "Full Aura" Aura +2 (Feats: Dynamic) (9)

Offense:
Unarmed +8 (+12 Damage, DC 27)
Blast +8 (+10 Ranged Damage, DC 25)
Initiative +1

Defenses:
Dodge +8 (DC 18), Parry +8 (DC 18), Toughness +12 (+4 Impervious), Fortitude --, Will +3

Complications:
Responsibility (The Skrull Empire)
Vulnerable (Magnetic & Electric Attacks)

Total: Abilities: 50 / Skills: 10--5 / Advantages: 7 / Powers: 118 / Defenses: 9 (189)

-ugh- I f*cking hate this guy. RANDOM SKREECHES AND ELECTRONIC NOISES DO NOT COUNT AS MUSIC, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!! Pick up a freaking guitar!

-Oh, SKRULL X. Never mind. This guy turns out to be a little-seen villain from Marv Wolfman's run on Fantastic Four, and he was meant to be one of many replacements to the failed Super-Skrull. He's a robot built with some of the FF's powers, plus a Laser Blast. He's actually powerful enough to shrug off Ben Grimm's "Sunday Punch", and he burns up Reed Richards. And apparently he's not that memorable, because a quick check of his appearances reveals that I OWN COMICS in which this guy appears, yet completely forgot about him! He literally just runs in, burns Reed, punches Ben, then gets one-shotted by an Electrical Blaster Reed had just laying around on their spaceship thingie.

-That's the end of the character... until he suddenly pops up a handful of issues later, during the backdrop of the epic Sphinx/Galactus fight! Skrull X, as he's called, reveals himself and tries to guarantee the deaths of the FF, fighting the Human Torch while the other three slowly waste away due to a Skrullian Execution Weapon (an "Aging Ray" that is slowly killing them). Using Torch's flames and Thing's strength, he knocks Johnny Storm around for a bit... until the Torch redoubles his efforts, flies back, and basically Limit Breaks his way to victory, charging straight at the guy and hitting him with a ton of heat. When he goes to question the guy... he's melted into slag! Turns out, he was a ROBOT the whole time! Seriously, I remember SO MUCH of this storyline (which is rare given that I'm old now, and I tend to forget stuff I've recently read a great deal of the time), but this guy? A total blank. I'd forgotten he existed until looking up stuff, and wouldn't have even remembered if you showed me what happened, since I DID look at some of his panels, and it didn't ring a bell.

-Skrull X combines a robotic body with Johnny & Ben's powers (he displays no others, aside from a Laser that's not even powerful enough to KO the Torch), and is good enough to take a punch from the Thing with little damage, but electronic attacks zap him easily, and Johnny soon overpowers him. I figure him about equal to the 1980-class Torch & Thing, but no better, considering all he does is provide a challenging brawl for Johnny, despite being (objectively) much more powerful.

[drkrash]

I like dubstep just fine.

I also like dubstep mixed with guitars.

So there.

[Jabroniville]

I like dubstep just fine.

I also like dubstep mixed with guitars.

So there.

BOOOOO!!!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!! This is my being a disapproving old man of current newfangled musical genres!! BOOOOOOO!!!!

Though it did give me the funny memory of my best friend being delivered to his wedding by his brother and sister-in-law... while they listened to Skrillex. A musician he hates. So he'll always be bitter that his special day involved listening to Skrillex for like 10 minutes.

Still better than the time his brother made us listen to a techno song that was just "They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!" to a techno beat over and over again .

[drkrash]

I'm 12 years older than Jab.

I was an industrial DJ for my 8 years in grad school in Washington, DC.

[Jabroniville]

That level of perkiness is unexpected of 70-year old women. We gotta get Cher some of that "Jim Hammond Blood Transfusion" so she looks like less of a demon-zombie-bot.

SPITFIRE (Lady Jacqueline Falsworth Crichton)
Created By: Roy Thomas & Frank Robbins
First Appearance: The Invaders #7 (July 1976- as Jacqueline), #12 (Dec. 1976- as Spitfire)
Role: The Chick, Speedster
Country of Origin: England
Group Affiliations: The Invaders, M.I.-13, The Hellfire Club
PL 10 (155)
STRENGTH 2/7 STAMINA 4/6 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 8/12 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 3

Skills: 
Acrobatics 3 (+7)
Deception 2 (+5)
Insight 2 (+4)
Perception 3 (+5)
Vehicles 8 (+8)

Advantages: 
Improved Disarm, Power Attack

Powers:
"Super-Speed"
Enhanced Fighting 4 [8]
Enhanced Advantages 12: Defensive Attack, Evasion, Follow-Up Strike, Great Endurance, Improved Defense, Improved Initiative 4, Takedown 2, Uncanny Dodge [12]
Enhanced Dodge 7 [7]
Enhanced Parry 1 [1]
"Mach 5-ish" Speed 11 (4,000 mph) [11]
Quickness 7 [7]

"Vampiric Traits"
Enhanced Strength 5 [10]
Enhanced Stamina 2 [4]
Regeneration 4 [4]

"Super-Speed Feats"
"Wall & Water Run" Movement 2 (Wall-Crawling, Water-Walking) (Flaws: Limited to While Running) [2]
Leaping 3 (60 feet) [3]
Immunity 1 (Friction Heat) [1]
"Hit Everyone in Range" Strength-Damage +0 (Extras: Area- 30ft. Burst 7, Selective 7) (14) -- [16]

• AE: "Jetstream" Move Object 6 (Extras: Area- 60ft. Cone) (Flaws: Touch Range) (12)
• AE: "Rapid-Punches" Strength-Damage +0 (Extras: Multiattack 8) (8)

Offense:
Unarmed +8 (+7 Damage, DC 22)
Super-Speed +12 (+7 Damage, DC 22)
Rapid-Punches +12 (+7 Damage, DC 22)
Whirlwind Attack +6 Area (+7 Damage, DC 22)
Initiative +20

Defenses:
Dodge +14 (DC 24), Parry +13 (DC 23), Toughness +6, Fortitude +9, Will +6

Complications:
Responsibility (Age)- Despite being de-aged, Spitfire is still technically a senior citizen. This has left her with a bit of a culture shock, though she seems to enjoy it.

Total: Abilities: 48 / Skills: 18--9 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 86 / Defenses: 10 (155)

-Spitfire's a classic case of "New Character Retcon", being the English daughter of the original Union Jack, bolstered in power by a combo of a vampire's bite and Jim "Human Torch" Hammond's blood, which somehow gave her Super-Speed. I guess the '70s Invaders book needed some more lady-power, since Miss America was kind of dull. She pretty much did all of nothing (despite Roy Thomas' efforts, the Invaders book didn't make much of an impact on comic book history... he would have FAR more luck with DC's All-Star Squadron and a similar concept) before returning to a young, hawt body the way comic book women are known to do, and she was last seen kicking around Captain Britain's now-cancelled book, showing some more vampiric powers.

-Spitfire is drained of blood by her vampiric uncle, Baron Blood, in her debut story- this is Blood's attempt at getting even with her father, Lord Falsworth. Four issues later, she is saved by a transfusion from the Golden Age Human Torch, and this reacts with the vampire bite to make her a super-fast being. She thus replaces her father, the hero Union Jack, on the team after he is crippled. She would appear off and on in the Invaders book, though not in every issue- she was depicted as an aging dowager in a 1981 Captain America story. Another nine years on the shelf, and she woudl have a couple more cameo appearances. John Byrne would bring her fully into modern times when a second transfusion from Hammond renewed her youth, vitality, and powers- she would pop up in Namor a handful of times. She helped out the heroes in Captain Britain & MI-13, being a British super-heroine- in this story, she actually showed real vampiric traits for the first time, ripping out a Skrull's throat with her teeth. This was at least depicted as a new thing, and a bit of a concern- it drew the attention of the vampire hunter Blade, who was eventually convinced that she didn't pose a threat to humans, given that the two later started boinking.

-This is basically her role in every story- that "occasionally popping up" character who provides aide and assistance to the main characters for a story here or there. Curiously for a fairly-minor character who debuted in the 1970s in a fairly-obscure title, she actually gets quite a BIT of use, probably stemming from the fact that she is Marvel's pre-eminent "Golden Age" super-heroine, having surpassed the deceased Miss America eons ago, despite debuting around thirty years later.

-Spitfire stats up as a PL 9.5 character across the board, packing some Quicksilver-level Super-Speed on top of a Vampiric-type body, giving her enhanced Strength, Stamina and Healing, and making her hit harder than most Speedsters. She has a few Speed Feats that let her Multiattack or hit a whole room full of guys, but they're kitted out to only her base Strength, thus she can't Power Attack them like she could with regular damage.

[Goldar]

Back in the Invaders series, Spitfire also had as a "super-power" the greater impact-related resistance ability. Thus, while running she was more protected than someone without this ability.

She would use this to ram into people like Warrior Woman and Thor without seriously injuring herself.

They also drew Spitfire with a trail of "fire" when she ran. This was not really fire, though. Despite having short hair back then, this was really a blurry image caused by her hair in the wind from running.