Jab’s Builds! (Lawnmower Man! Samus Aran! Metroids!)

[Sidious]

I totally want to see you stat out the other great beasts...

[Goldar]

I always liked Tundra of the Great Beasts. I really don't know much about him however. Once I seen him in the Marvel Handbooks and the Marvel FASERIP RPG as a kid I just liked him. He definitely has a cool look. Looking at a lot of the Alpha Flight villains it seems like Alpha Flight is the Doom Patrol of Marvel as far as weird villains go.

Wow, I didn't know Tundra was profiled in FASERIP. I really liked that system.

[BriarThrone]

I just figure that a lot of these "Unstoppable" "World Conquerors" are basically engaging in a good deal of puffery. Someone like Galactus or the Dark Phoenix is a legit, bonafide world-ender... Someone like Kang is a legit contender for possible world-conquering.

The Great Beasts? The Master of the World? Magneto? Red Skull?

Sorry. I don't see them ever actually conquering the whole world. But, then again, Alexander the Great ruled an empire that "merely" stretched from the Alps to the Hindu-Kush; Genghis Khan and his successors ruled an empire that "merely" stretched from the Yellow Sea to the Black Sea; Queen Victoria ruled an empire that spanned the globe, but covered a "mere" 25% of its total landmass.

All of which is to say that a threat like the Great Beasts could rhetorically claim to be "world conquerors" but never quite rise to the level of threat where someone like the Asgardians feel the need to get involved, en masse. Thor or adventurers like the Warriors Three might see them as a worthy opponent for righteous butt-kicking, but Odin might not think it worth sending his armies off to war.

In fact, when governing a body of mighty super-powered adventuring heroes, having challenges like the Great Beasts come along from time to time would probably be quite the boon. Let them sit around and get bored, and they're likely to come up with their own diversions, and that sort of thing isn't good for anybody.

[Batgirl III]

"Knight Errantry as Social Release Valve" but for gods... It would explain a lot about Asgardian society, really.

[Jabroniville]

OKAY DALE, WE GET IT. YOU CAN DRAW WELL. Nobody likes a show-off.

RANARK THE RAVAGER
Created By: Tom DeFalco & Ron Wilson
First Appearance: Marvel Two-In-One #83 (Jan. 1982)
Role: Mostly-Forgotten Villain
PL 10 (153)
STRENGTH 5 STAMINA 5 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 10 DEXTERITY 3
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Athletics 3 (+8)
Expertise (Magic) 8 (+10)
Intimidation 8 (+9, +13 Size)
Perception 2 (+4)
Ranged Combat (Magic) 6 (+11)
Stealth 1 (+5)

Advantages: 
Ranged Attack 2, Ritualist, Startle

Powers:
"Evil Spirit" Immunity 1 (Aging) [1]
Growth 8 (Str & Sta +8, +8 Mass, +4 Intimidation, -4 Dodge/Parry, +1 Speed, -8 Stealth) -- (30 feet) (Flaws: Limited to +5 ST & STA Growths) [13]

"Magical Might"
"Detection Spell" Senses 12 (Mental Senses- Accurate, Acute & Exended 5, Direction Sense, Distance Sense, Tracking 2) [12]

"Transform to a Flock of Crows" Morph 1 (Crow) Linked to Summon Crows 2 (Extras: Horde, 16 Minions +8) (27) -- [34]

• AE: Damage 8 (Extras: Area- 30ft. Burst) (16)
• AE: Fire Blast 9 (18)
• AE: "Elemental Power" Move Object 8 (Extras: Perception-Ranged) (Flaws: Limited to Earth & Water) (16)
• AE: "Bone Shards" Blast 4 (Feats: Accurate) (Extras: Multiattack) (14)
• AE: "Air Control" Move Object 9 (Extras: Area- 60ft. Cone) (Flaws: Touch Range) (18)
• AE: "Wind" Features 2: Nullifies Arrows, Blows Out Flames, etc. (2)
• AE: "Plant Growth" Snare 8 (24)

Offense:
Unarmed +10 (+5 Damage, DC 20)
Huge Size +10 (+10 Damage, DC 25)
Burst Area Damage +8 (+8 Damage, DC 23)
Fire Blast +11 (+9 Ranged Damage, DC 24)
Bone Shards +13 (+4 Ranged Damage, DC 19)
Initiative +4

Defenses:
Dodge +10 (DC 20), Parry +10 (DC 20), Toughness +5 (+10 Size), Fortitude +7, Will +5

Complications:
Motivation (Power)

Total: Abilities: 64 / Skills: 28--14 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 59 / Defenses: 11 (153)

-Ranark the Ravager is from an old Marvel Two-In-One that's mostly known for an all-out brawl between Ben Grimm and Sasquatch- an early display for 'Squatch against another high-tier Powerhouse. The fight is the backdrop to a more serious event- the release of the ancient Native shaman (who was imprisoned by his fellows for dark practices), who is now assaulting Shaman, and then grows pretty big and starts fending off the Thing & Alpha Flight in the next team-up issue. He basically disappears after this story, only reappearing later as part of the Master's Alpha Strike team in the most recent Alpha Flight comic, as the Mirror Image Villain to Shaman. He counters some of the stuff "Michael of the Two-Young-Men" can do, but isn't overly influential to the battle- he doesn't appear to be that durable, and is once startled by the appearance of one of his Great Beast masters- this was actually a clever disguise by Snowbird.

-At PL 10, Ranark is tough, but certainly not unbeatable. He's only PL 7.5 defensively, like a lot of Wizards. In his first story arc, he's apparently super-big (at least going by the cover). His Growth power is gone, but he's apparently got the COOLEST DESIGN EVER, thanks to the incredible artistic talents of Dale Eaglesham, who transforms him into this ebony-skinned guy with a skull mask and bony fingers.

[greycrusader]

That's bizarre- where'd you hear all that? My info gathering didn't turn up that stuff.

I had a casual friend who actually interned with Marvel ain the editorial
dept around that time. Told me there all sorts of arbitrary approvals and cancellations of the lower tier stuff.

(whoops, forgot to comment on this. I was away from home when I read it)

Wow, that is amazing stuff. I would love to hear some of the "fly on the wall" stuff he heard, and the personalities he encountered. And which low-tier books got bounced around like that.

Sadly, I lost touch with Brendan many years ago. He never pursued a career in comics or entertainment, instead going to law school (somewhere in New England, I think).

From what I remember, as long as the lower-selling stuff wasn't losing money hand over fist for Marvel, editorial didn't really care so much about what the writers and artists on the books did-maybe they'd come up with something innovative and turn the titles around, or crash and burn and just get the books canceled, and nothing much was lost in those cases. Jim Shooter was WIDELY disliked, as the consensus was he had long since lost his writing chops and was just a "company man" who nonetheless insisted on pushing his own, mostly uninspired ideas into books; the tragic Bill Mantlo was the nicest guy around, considerate of everybody; Byrne was well-liked (at the time) but kind of a jerk; nothing really unknown by this point.

Now, he also worked for Gene Rodenberry for a hot minute, and did come back with backstage info on the ST:TOS and ST:TNG casts-I knew George Takei was gay WAAAAY before he came out, one of the veteran cast is/was a cocaine addict, and Marisa Sirtis was even more beautiful in person but apparently rarely bathed, preferring to just heavily perfume herself (note: it didn't work).

All my best.

[Batgirl III]

A friend of a friend interned for season (Season Three, IIRC) on Buffy; According to him, David Boreanaz and Sarah-Michelle Gellar had a running prank where they would eat or drink absolutely the most foul foods they could in order to make their breath as nasty as possible before their big Angel/Buffy smoochie-smooch scenes.

Honestly, teenage me wouldn't have cared if David Boreanaz had just eat a half-rotten dead yak. I'd have crawled over broken glass to make out with Angel... or Buffy. Or Giles.

Maybe those "or's" should be "and's".

I'll be in my bunk.

[Jabroniville]

ARCADE'S GOONS:
-God, the Northstar Limited Series was a piece of garbage. Horrible writing, WORSE art (imagine someone who apes Rob Liefeld's art style... and is ACTUALLY WORSE AT IT THAN ROB LIEFELD IS. This art is SO BAD you're like "wow, they really need to get Rob Liefeld to show this guy how to draw"), terrible characterization, and a running plot that basically involves Arcade trying to screw with the hero... but you don't get to see any kind of Murderworld, which is the ENTIRE POINT OF USING ARCADE. The only positive element of the comic is the fact that it is the very-first comic book from a major publisher to feature a gay superhero as the title character. And this in fact seems to be the entire purpose of the book- a publicity stunt meant to draw attention. Because they sure as hell didn't put their A-List creators or characters on it (the next-most-important villain to Arcade is the roster of WEAPON: P.R.I.M.E.!). The funniest thing is that Northstar's sexuality is never actually mentioned, save for the End Boss being some big, strong guy who fights against progression (ie. gays) as a bigoted Strawman, preaching against Northstar's "kind". While NEVER ACTUALLY MENTIONING HIS SEXUALITY AT ALL. It's a weird, half-assed way to go about it. Like, if you're gonna make your point, either go subtle or throw subtlety away and make your points with a hammer. But don't half-ass it.

-This gang of idiots receives about zero characterization, have no actual name (they're just a band of Mercenaries I guess), and barely have powers showcased- they're just there as a speed-bump in the plot, having worked for Arcade. They promise to kill Northstar for their boss, but hilariously fail to accomplish ANYTHING- an exhausted Northstar breaks Mister Nice's arm with one kick, fends off the other four villains, and soon Heather "Guardian" Hudson flies in and takes out three of the others. As such, these losers are PL 5 at maximum- 90% of their attacks miss (even against a mostly-defeated foe), and the sole thing going for them is that most of them take a few shots before going down. A standard Cop or Soldier could probably take one out.

[Jabroniville]

MISTER NICE
Created By: Simon Furman & Dario Carrasco, Jr.
First Appearance: Northstar #3 (June 1994)
Role: Supremely-Jobbery Villain
Group Affiliations: None
PL 4 (34)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 4
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Criminal) 4 (+4)

Advantages:
Equipment (Knife), Ranged Attack 2

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Knife +6 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +2, Fortitude +3, Will +2

Complications:
Motivation (Greed)

Total: Abilities: 28 / Skills: 4--2 / Advantages: 3 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 1 (34)

-This particular colossal idiot has such a minor role that he appears to be a scarred man with a switchblade and a trenchcoat... and THAT'S IT! He leads the group against Northstar, but is handily-defeated with a single kick that breaks his arm. Taken out of the fight, the others are left to be mopped up- Mister Nice never shows up for the rest of the issue! Given that he doesn't even put up a rudimentary defense (I've seen honest-to-god HYDRA agents put up more of a fight!), he gets PL 4 and he'll like it. If I ever write for Marvel Comics, and write one of those "Tons of people die" events, I'm killing him in a background scene like The Bug-Eyed Bandit got in Crisis on Infinite Earths.

[Jabroniville]

SHORTFUSE
Created By: Simon Furman & Dario Carrasco, Jr.
First Appearance: Northstar #3 (June 1994)
Role: Supremely-Jobbery Villain
Group Affiliations: None
PL 5 (44)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 4
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Criminal) 4 (+4)

Advantages:
Equipment (Knife)

Powers:
"Timed Gauntlets" (Flaws: Removable) [5]
Blast 6 (Flaws: Unreliable- Requires Powered-Timer) (6 points)

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Blast +4 (+6 Ranged Damage, DC 21)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +5 (DC 15), Toughness +2, Fortitude +3, Will +2

Complications:
Motivation (Greed)

Total: Abilities: 28 / Skills: 4--2 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 5 / Defenses: 8 (44)

-Possessing the worst gear ever, Shortfuse needs a POWER-UP phase to use his Blast, and was beaten by Northstar after a high-speed flurry of punches. Hell, in his very first fight, where most guys get New Villain Stink working for them so they can beat up Spider-Man the one time... he manages to shoot HIS OWN TEAMMATE, thanks to Northstar tossing Link in the way of his blast. The next sequences shows him powering up for another shot (this one in melee), at which point he trips over his teammate Sadista's whip and ends up putting himself through a brick wall. He recovers for a third try, but Northstar, sick of this crap, finally just beats the hell out of him.

[Jabroniville]

SADISTA
Created By: Simon Furman & Dario Carrasco, Jr.
First Appearance: Northstar #3 (June 1994)
Role: Supremely-Jobbery Villain
Group Affiliations: None
PL 5 (50)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 4
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Expertise (Criminal) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Animal Handling) 6 (+6)

Advantages:
Equipment (Whip), Ranged Attack 2

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Whip +6 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +7 (DC 17), Toughness +2, Fortitude +3, Will +2

Complications:
Motivation (Greed, Causing Pain)

Total: Abilities: 34 / Skills: 10--5 / Advantages: 3 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 8 (50)

-Sadista is the most interesting-looking of the villains Northstar faces in this part of the story, and uses a pair of blood-sniffing dogs to seek out the injured hero. However, the dogs tangle up Shortfuse with their leash, and Sadista is defeated when Heather Hudson arrives and blasts her with her Guardian battle suit. A standard Weapon-User (but barely better than any standard person), she also comes with two PL 4-ish Dogs. Which vanish as soon as they get entangled.

[Jabroniville]

LINK II
Created By: Simon Furman & Dario Carrasco, Jr.
First Appearance: Northstar #3 (June 1994)
Role: Supremely-Jobbery Villain
Group Affiliations: None
PL 5 (46)
STRENGTH 6 STAMINA 6 AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Criminal) 4 (+4)

Advantages:
Fast Grab

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+6 Damage, DC 21)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +6, Fortitude +7, Will +2

Complications:
Motivation (Greed)

Total: Abilities: 38 / Skills: 4--2 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 5 (46)

-Link is the token "Strongman" of the group, and is beaten alongside Sadista by Heather Hudson. He's actually so bad at fighting that a nearly-crippled Northstar is able to throw him around, but he's tough enough to take some hits (Northstar tosses him in the way of Shortfuse's Blast, and Guardian is forced to finish him with a surprise attack).

[Jabroniville]

BARB
Created By: Simon Furman & Dario Carrasco, Jr.
First Appearance: Northstar #3 (June 1994)
Role: Supremely-Jobbery Villain
Group Affiliations: None
PL 5 (48)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Criminal) 4 (+4)

Advantages:
Fast Grab

Powers:
"Long Barbs" Strength-Damage +3 (Feats: Reach 4) [7]
"Looks Aquatic, and Has a Rebreather, So Why Not?" Immunity 1 (Drowning) [1]
Swimming 4 (8 mph) [4]

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Barbs +4 (+5 Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +5 (DC 15), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +4, Will +2

Complications:
Motivation (Greed)

Total: Abilities: 26 / Skills: 4--2 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 11 / Defenses: 8 (48)

-Barb (as in "pointy natural defensive weapons", not "Barbara"... though the latter is funnier and makes this name ultra-stupid) looks fish-like and has a rebreather on, so I'm guessing he's aquatic. He only gets a few lines of dialogue, and his sole appearance consists of missing Northstar with an attack, then getting his rebreather pulled-out. This leaves him going "GAK!", and the next scene has him being one-shotted by Guardian.

[Jabroniville]

A note from Greycrusader, from the last time I posted these losers, a little more than a year ago:

Barb, Link, Sadista, and Short-Fuse?! Man, these are so obscure I never heard of them. It also reminds me that John Byre-for all his flaws-DID have a few sharp observations about the medium. He once proposed to Marvel a 5 year moratorium on creating new characters, arguing that was needed was further pruning of useless characters (Hey! There's Scourge and the Punisher!), along with updating and revamping minor character who might have potential.

So in the above example, if a writer needed villains for a Northstar/Guardian story, why didn't he/she just use some of the old Alpha Flight bad guys? There were more than enough Omega Flight members hanging out in comic book limbo that a good writer might have done something with-instead four more losers even LAMER and less well developed than jobbers like Sinew and Miss Mass.

Ah, well.

All my best.

Fascinating stuff at the Marvel offices, to be sure. The writers apparently constantly made fun of Secret Wars... even while they were drooling over the money it made.

The coke fiend is Shatner, right? I bet it's Shatner.

[Jabroniville]

Best build topic ever.
Ten out of ten.

Heh- thanks. I was gonna just say their NAMES... but then I was like "No Moderators would crack down on me HERE! I can post whatever I want !" Good ol' Ares can just be placated with some pics of Billy Batson being powerful or somethin'...