What a cruel, cruel aversion to "All Byrne Women Look The Same".
PINK PEARL (Pearl Gross)
Created By: John Byrne
First Appearance: Alpha Flight #22 (May 1985)
Role: E-League Villain, Fat Lady
Group Affiliations: Cloists (strip club)
PL 8 (101)
STRENGTH 4 STAMINA 4 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 8 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3
Skills:
Acrobatics 4 (+8)
Athletics 4 (+8)
Close Combat (Unarmed) 2 (+10)
Deception 3 (+6)
Expertise (Business) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Criminal) 5 (+7)
Expertise (Circus Fat Lady) 4 (+6)
Insight 3 (+6)
Intimidation 5 (+8)
Perception 3 (+5)
Persuasion 3 (+6)
Advantages:
Chokehold, Fast Grab, Improved Hold, Power Attack, Ranged Attack 2, Withstand Damage (Trade Defenses For Toughness)
Powers:
"Fatty-Fatty Boombalatty"
"Power Punch" Strength-Damage +1 [1]
"Cushiony Flab" Protection 2 [2]
"Too Heavy To Move" Features 2: Increased Mass 2 [2]
"Bouncy Body" Leaping 1 [1]
Offense:
Unarmed +10 (+5 Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +4
Defenses:
Dodge +8 (DC 18), Parry +10 (DC 20), Toughness +6, Fortitude +7, Will +4
Complications:
Motivation (Greed)
Prejudice (Morbidly Obese)- Being a titanically fat lady, Pearl is likely prone to a large degree of prejudice in real life.
Responsibility ("Cloisters" Male Strip Club)
Relationship (Goldar)- They're married.
Total: Abilities: 60 / Skills: 38--19 / Advantages: 7 / Powers: 6 / Defenses: 10 (101)
-I swear I'm not making this character up. A one-off in Alpha Flight, she was a circus "Fat Lady" who took over her troupe and turned it into a terrorist front (man, if I was a civilian in the Marvel Universe, I would NEVER go to the circus. First off, it's a world with tons of super-heroes in it, so who cares about the trapeze? Second, every goddamn troop out there is a front for master criminals. Okay, the Circus of Crime and these assholes. So weak criminals. Whatever.
-A cruel, cruel aversion to "All Byrne's Women Look The Same", Pearl draws gasps when she appears, threatens a semi-rookie Northstar & Aurora, and is eventually beaten when one of them throws a knife at her- the shock of the stabbing actually causes her to pass out, though her tremendous body-fat protects her from death. Byrne can live with the shame of inventing a fat woman in a one-piece as an authentic comic book character, but at least for once it was FEMALE-on-female violence taking place in his book. She actually popped up as a random background character in the Superia Stratagem alongside the other female powerhouses of Marvel, though it's always been unclear just HOW strong she is. She fights using an oddly athletic, hopping-based fighting style, that utilizes her body fat to "bounce" higher than someone her size ever should be able to.
-About eighty issues later (!!- that's about seven years!), she appeared as the owner of an all-male strip club, and then spent DECADES on the shelf, only appearing in the background of one comic, and then again for a one-off joke panel where she's sitting on the Beast, who for some reason can't get out from underneath (she's fat alright, but he's around the Spider-Man class of powerhouses- a fat lady shouldn't take that much effort).
-Of course, I mostly remember Pearl for the outstanding reaction she drew from our very own Goldar, who thanked me (three times, no less) for one of his "favorite characters", before insisting that he was not a "chubby-chaser". He then went into a long description of her appearances in the books, her fighting style, Power Feats and more, and argued for a higher Power Level, since she defeated the Flight Twins in her debut. It was at times amusing and alarming that somebody would like an obvious Joke Character so much, but then, I'm guilty of "Red Guardian Syndrome" for minor characters all the time, so I can relate
. And this has made Pink Pearl 100 times the legend on the various "ATT/Ronin Army/Echoes" sites than she ever would have been otherwise, so I can actually THANK Goldar for the attention he's brought to this weird lady .-And for the record? I likes me some curvy ladies, rare as they are in Hollywood. Caroline Rhea is a HELL YES for me. I liked Chubby Atomic Eve, even more than Regular Comics-Physique Eve. One of my favorite ladies in adult films goes by the name of "Samantha 38G", and is certainly in the "BBW" class. But Pearl? NOPE- that's a few dozen dress sizes too big. I gots my limits!
-Surprisingly a PL 7.5-8 (8 Parry, 7 Dodge, 7.5 unarmed), Pink Pearl is very strong and quite fast for her size, and can definitely take a punch (a thrown knife hit her in the chest, but didn't kill her thanks to her fat). While her credibility is a bit lacking, she can absorb at least some damage (Diamond Lil & Heather Hudson combined knocked her through glass, but didn't knock her out), and hold someone down, allowing a more powerful character to end things. She's basically Kingpin Lite (well, as light as someone who's a seven-foot-something obese woman CAN be, anyways), lacking his sheer presence and cred in fistfights.
