My GOD this is beautiful. It is inconceivable that we could ever life in a world where there existed a better comic book cover.
LILA CHENEY
Created By: Chris Claremont & Bob McLeod
First Appearance: New Mutants Annual #1 (Summer 1984)
Role: The Rock Star, The 80s Icon, Teleporter
Group Affiliations: The New Mutants, X-Force (associate to both), Her Band
PL 8 (126)
STRENGTH 0
STAMINA 2
AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 4
DEXTERITY 3
INTELLIGENCE 0
AWARENESS 2
PRESENCE 4
Skills:
Acrobatics 3 (+5)
Deception 4 (+8)
Expertise (Thief) 6 (+6)
Expertise (Music) 10 (+14)
Insight 4 (+6)
Investigation 3 (+5)
Perception 4 (+6)
Stealth 3 (+5)
Technology 6 (+6)
Vehicles 3 (+6)
Advantages:
Benefit (Fame), Ultimate Music Skill
Powers:
"Mutant Powers: Interstellar Teleportation"
Movement 3 (Space Travel 3) (Feats: Change Direction & Velocity, Easy, Increased Mass 7- 3 tons) (Extras: Portal +2, Instantaneous- Instantly Appears) (Flaws: Limited to Areas She's Been Before) [22]
Linked to
Movement 3 (Space Travel 3) (Feats: Change Direction & Velocity, Easy, Increased Mass 7- 3 tons, Ranged 6) (Extras: Attack 8- Res. by Dodge, Instantaneous) (Flaws: Limited to Areas She's Been Before)
[24]
Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Teleport Attack +8 (+8 Ranged Teleport Attack, DC 18)
Initiative +3
Defenses:
Dodge +10 (DC 20), Parry +10 (DC 20), Toughness +2, Fortitude +5, Will +6
Complications:
Prejudice (Mutant)
Reputation (Rock Star/Thief)- Lila is either incredibly famous or incredibly notorious throughout the universe, known for being a bad-girl, thief, rock star, or fallen star. Expect nearly any alien to know who she is.
Relationship (Sam Guthrie)- Lila has an off-and-on hook-up with Cannonball going, as she finds his good-ol'-boy antics cute.
Total: Abilities: 34 / Skills: 46--23 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 46 / Defenses: 21 (126)
Steal This Planet- A Rock Fable (aka the greatest title for a story in the history of the world):
-Gotta love Lila. She debuted in one of the most obviously-'80s story in comic book history, a "Rock Fable" (no kidding) where the New Mutants gang saw her play her punk-rock music, Sam & Bobby fell in love with her ("Aw, who am I kidding? I'm in love. With the music and the lady." sez Sam), and much to their surprise (and wannabe lothario Bobby's horror, sadness and disbelief), Lila actually crushes on same
immediately, dragging him backstage with her, damn near molesting him on the spot, and dressing him up as a wannabe punk so she can be more into him. Like, how is that NOT every pre-teen boy reading this story's fantasy? Every single part of this is of course hilariously dated today, with exaggerated "punk rock" gear like nose-chains, S&M straps, studded leather, gloves, etc. looking straight out of 1984, with Lila even being English (like many of the famous punk bands, though lacking their political edge). But really, that's the entire charm of stories like this- comics would be BORING if you couldn't pick up a title and immediately guess the decade just from looking at it.
-In any case, because this is a Chris Claremont story in the 1980s, it turns out that she's also an intergalactic thief of the highest order, and has promised to sell
the entire planet Earth to some alien slavers. So the gang gets roped into a fight, and end up traveling to an ancient Dyson Sphere in the far end of the universe, which is naturally Lila's home base. Then some stuff happened, the day was saved, and Lila fell in love with the "Aw shucks" persona of Cannonball, setting off a big character arc for the big lug. Was it me, or was her & Sam's whole relationship completely awesome? The intergalactic rock star/thief has a thing for the innocent mama's boy Sam Guthrie, who's as much scared of her as he is in love with her. And then there's poor Sunspot, left to mope because his charm and money didn't give him what he wanted for once. Naturally, they quickly gloss over the fact that Sam's new girlfriend just tried to
sell five billion people into slavery ("Why not? The Earth sold me?" "??" "It's my secret, Sam. I'll never tell. Ever."), but that's teenagers for you. Sam is more or less won over entirely by the Power Of Hawtness, even. We only get a slight mention of it in one of Xavier's "Team Bios", where he brings up that he hopes the New Mutants's goodness will rub off on her... but he wishes that Lila would stop sending Sam "Care Packages" of clothing... and that he would "stop wearing them". He even takes the time- in the middle of a mission of dire importance, no less- to chide Sam that "We are not a collection of Ragamuffins". Later, this is paid off in a brilliant joke where Xavier is decked out in the same kind of stuff by the Morlocks- the X-Men & New Mutants get a huge laugh at Xavier's expense, with Nightcrawler begging Sam to re-quote Xavier's line. Sam does so, "but I have to admit- I blushed. He didn't".
-Honestly, though, is there anything more endearing than the way '70s & '80s movies prescribed such magical powers to Rock and/or Roll? The best might still be
Rock & Rule, which featured Debbie Harry & Iggy Pop using The Power Of Rock to destroy a giant Eldritch Abomination.
Later Lila Bits:
-The two had a fair bit of interactions (this mostly did away with the Sam/Amara thing, which wasn't going where Sam wanted it to anyways), often with small "tests"- they'd argue a bit when Sam assumed that she'd stolen a gift she'd gotten for him- she hadn't. Later, Lila was about to be introduced to Sam's mother, but to his shock, she was dressed in full Punk Rock gear! However, Sam kind of doubled down, accepted his girl for what she was, and went to get his momma... at which point Lila changed into a nice dress like a "normal girl", and congratulated Sam for passing the "test"- that he would be willing to introduce his mother to his girlfriend's REAL self. Claremont liked this bit enough he actually called it out specifically to me when I met him at a Con.
-Lila's final "old" appearance was in one of Louise Simonson's issues, where she deals with it abruptly by having Lila seemingly sacrifice herself to stop Gosamyr's race of giant monsters from killing the team. This pretty much sets up Sam to date his teammate Boom-Boom instead, as Lila suddenly shifts to being an
X-Men supporting character- having hung out with Dazzler once Alison left the X-Men, Lila shows up in Longshot-related stories. My only experiences reading about Lila as a kid were her '90s stuff fighting Mojo with Longshot & Dazzler, and a few snippets here and there- like when she sang at Cyclops & Jean Grey's wedding, joking about how badly her career was going (by this time, she was dressing more or less like a normal person, and not a leather fetishist), or when she congratulated Boom-Boom on snapping up Sammy, pointing out that "I'm
too busy. He's
too young." to the jealous Tabitha Smith.
-So with Fabian Nicieza & Scott Lobdell never using her in their '90s books, Lila kind of disappeared until naturally Claremont remembered she existed for his
X-Treme X-Men run. This is really the last use of her in any kind of important context- her unique status as a mutant who's never been on an X-team, a fad-related character (Punk has shifted rapidly from what it was in her day), and someone who only interacted with lower-end X-people... it adds up to make her rather under-utilized. The fact that her powers are a huge potential plot-ruiner probably don't help.
Lila's Teleportation:
-Lila is easier to figure out once M&M added an "Instantaneous" Extra to its
DC Adventures build of the Indigo Tribe. I sorta wonder why they never had a real concrete way of building Interstellar Transporters before this point, but I guess nobody checked and tried to make a list of "Weird-ass characters to build" before they released the books- statting out Deadman, Lila Cheney, and a few Acolytes ahead of time would've worked wonders
. She can use her powers as a Ranged Attack as well- this can be used involuntarily, resulting in a Linked Power since she can use both effects at once, teleporting friendlies and enemies.