Jab’s Builds! (Miss Piggy! The Swedish Chef! Sweetums! Gonzo!)

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Jabroniville
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Police Academy

Post by Jabroniville »

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"Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For FUN? Well I DIDN'T HEAR ANYONE LAUGHING- did you!?"
-Homer Simpson


POLICE ACADEMY:
-Because it was the 1980s, a raunchy, low-brow physical comedy could inspire not only a MASSIVE seven-film franchise, but a 65-episode animated series, a live-action series in the '90s, and be a household name to this day. It's so notorious that when I suggested to Kreuzritter that I do this set way back in the 2nd Edition days, he openly said "What did the Atomic Think Tank ever do to deserve THAT?". Yet they WERE enormously popular! The first one made so much money that even today it would be a smash ($147 million or so). The movie was inspired by Paul Maslansky, a producer doing research for The Right Stuff when he observed...

I noticed a bunch of ludicrous-looking police cadets being dressed down by a frustrated sergeant. They were an unbelievable bunch-including a lady who must have weighed over 200 pounds and a flabby man of well over 50. I asked the sergeant about them, and he explained that the mayor had ordered the department to accept a broad spectrum for the academy. "We have to take them in,"...[he said] ..."And the only thing we can do is wash them out."

Naturally, he immediately thought of a comedy in which these hapless twerps were the protagonists, and the suffering police sergeant was one of those "Jerk-Ass 1980s Authority Figures". And so we got a movie about Carey Mahoney, a sarcastic, glib prankster played by Steve Guttenberg, and a cast of weirdo buddies as a rag-tag bunch of future-washouts. Included in their number was a hapless fat guy, a klutz, the timid Hooks, the peaceful giant Hightower, the gun-nut Tackleberry, the sound-effects sporting Jones, and more. The humorless Lt. Harris attempts to make the crew wash out and treats them horribly, while Commandant Lassard is the buffoonish, laid-back main in charge of it all. Mahoney must join the academy or go to jail, but because his father was a respected cop, he is protected from washing out. Humorously, the movie starred Kim Cattrall as his love interest, meaning that she was the main female star of THREE of the '80s' biggest comedies- Big Trouble in Little China, Porky's and Police Academy. That she did all that (plus a Star Trek movie) yet wasn't even a household name until Sex & the City always floored me- I guess "Random Hot Blondes" were just seen as completely interchangeable back then.

In retrospect, the first Police Academy movie was never really that funny; it was just a series of gags with weak characters and a few decent jokes, mainly sophomoric in nature, plus some boobs. Well, I guess that in the '80s easily makes the $140 million or so it did. I really liked the Animated Series, though, but in retrospect it was probably crap as well (quickly watching one episode indicates this as a fact, though at least it's just non-stop gags and physical humor). I still don't know how they managed to make SEVEN of these bloody films, considering they completely fell apart by the third.

The History of the Franchise:
-The first movie came out in 1984, and was an absolute smash, instantly making Steve Guttenberg a star (thanks to the Order of Stonecutters). Most of the obvious-jokey characters stuck around in the franchise, with Larvell Jones instantly getting over huge thanks to his actor's legitimate skill at making sound effects. There was some standard subsersive anti-authority humor, plenty of sex comeody (Mahoney hires a protitute to perform fellatio upon Cmdt. Lassard during a speech, but Lassard sees MAHONEY crawl from under the dais, making him suspect Mahoney to be the culprit), and random shots of breasts (Lt. Harris is tricked into spying in the women's showers, and several recruits go topless at a bonfire- this was VERY common in '80s comedies, as many Rodney Dangerfield movies had the same "randomly run into a group of nude women in the showers" scenes. The movie ends with the recruits helping stop a riot in progress in the shabby part of town, thus succeeding when everyone thought they'd fail.

Immediately, the next movie went into production, coming out in 1985. This one introduces wild, nutty gang leader Zed, who ultimately joins the force, along with diminutive nerd Sweetchuck. A new villain, Lt. Mauser, is used, deliberately trying to tank the Academy grads so Lassard gets fired and he can get that job. Most of the cast is cemented by this point, but the movie isn't well-liked. BUT it does very well still, and so PA3: Back in Training comes out the next year. Budget cuts are to nuke two academies, and so the cast works to ensure theirs is a higher-performing one. Citizens on Patrol is the 4th, in 1987- a new "C.O.P." program is instituted from the Academy, but Harris returns, along with Mauser's subordinate Proctor as his main goon, and tries to sabotage it. The movie still does okay, but notably MUCH less than the 3rd movie. This leads to Operation Miami Beach in 1988, but this time, Steve Guttenberg declines to return. A similar character to Mahoney is rapidly shoved into the script instead- Lassard is to be named "Police Officer of the Decade", but someone switches his bag with stolen jewels, and the thieves try to get it back. City Under Siege is 6th, hitting in 1989 (again jewel thieves are the crooks, but they set a series fo dangerous crimes off in the city), and the final film doesn't have a number, and is called PA: Mission to Moscow, about the gang trying to capture an international crime figure in the Post-Glasnost era.

Between films, in 1988, the cartoon series Police Academy debuted, reaching 65 episodes. The cast was most of the recognizable movie characters- Mahoney, Jones, Hooks, Hightower, Tackleberry, Callahan, Zed, Sweetchuck, Harris, Proctor, and newer character House (a fat black guy). It was entirely a slapstick comedy with little drama, and features mostly standard-issue "crime of the day" plots, with a man literally called The Kingpin as the central villain- he's even a bald, white-suited fat guy, though this one sports a monocle. In 1997, EIGHT YEARS after the final film, Police Academy: The Series, a live-action series, debuts. It lasts 26 hour-long (!!) episodes. Only Michael Winslow (Jones) reappears, though a few others made guest appearances.

The series has never been remade or redeveloped, though a new movie has sat in "Development Hell" since 2003. The reputation of the franchise is... NOT good. It's generally seen as a sign of Sequelitis, which each Police Academy movie being worse than the last. I was a BIG fan at one point in my early teens, but watching them all on TV in succession I found that by the 4th they were pretty awful. Most of the characters were one-note gags and never developed beyond that- like timid Hooks would be weak the entire movie until startling people with "Don't move, DIRTBAG!" at the very end. The SAME JOKE, every time.
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (The Stranger! Children of the Atom! The True Believers!)

Post by M4C8 »

Yeah, I was also a fan of the Police Academy series when I was a kid, I know I had a couple on VHS (definitely the sixth movie with the mirror image villain crew). I had no idea there was a live action series though.

I read the True Believers book, I don't remember much about it but I don't think I disliked it. I'm not that surprised they haven't appeared since but I wouldn't mind if they did, especially Payback.
Last edited by M4C8 on Wed Mar 16, 2022 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Battalus

Post by Ares »

Jabroniville wrote: Tue Mar 15, 2022 11:47 pm Image
They hypothetical son of Master Chief and Catwoman.
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Re: Battalus

Post by M4C8 »

Ares wrote: Wed Mar 16, 2022 4:54 pm
Jabroniville wrote: Tue Mar 15, 2022 11:47 pm Image
They hypothetical son of Master Chief and Catwoman.
'Meowster Chief'
'A shared universe, like any fictional construct, hinges on suspension of disbelief. When continuity is tossed away, it tatters the construct. Undermines it'
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Carey Mahoney

Post by Jabroniville »

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CAREY MAHONEY
Played By:
Steve Guttenberg
Role: The Main Guy, Deadpan Snarker, The Prankster
PL 5 (78)
STRENGTH
1 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 4

Skills:
Athletics 3 (+4)
Deception 5 (+9)
Expertise (Streetwise) 4 (+5)
Expertise (Pop Culture) 4 (+5)
Expertise (Police Officer) 6 (+7)
Insight 4 (+6)
Investigation 4 (+6)
Perception 4 (+6)
Persusasion 2 (+6)
Stealth 4 (+6)
Vehicles 4 (+6)

Advantages:
Daze (Deception), Equipment 4 (Pistol +5, Police Car), Fascination (Deception), Ranged Attack 3, Set-Up, Taunt, Teamwork

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Pistol +5 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +2, Fortitude +4, Will +4

Complications:
Motivation (Police Work)- Though initially an anti-authority figure, Mahoney grows to legitimately love his job and see promise in it.
Reputation (Smarmy Prankster)- Mahoney is known for causing trouble to authority figures, and was even committing petty crimes before he became a cop.
Enemy (Lt. Harris)- Harris despises "MA-HONEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" and constantly tries to get him fired.

Total: Abilities: 36 / Skills: 44--22 / Advantages: 12 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 8 (78)

-Mahoney is the main character of the Police Academy series, though he didn't show up for the latter two movies, being replaced by a Captain Ersatz-type. He was a ladies' man (since his girlfriends in each movie kept not coming back for the next one) and goof-off with a deceased cop father, who was forced into the Police Academy to avoid jail time for his semi-larcenous activities. Through some complicated asinine plot stuff, he attempted to get thrown out, but the guys in charge weren't allowed to, so he ended up just playing countless pranks on his superior officers (particularly Lt. Harris, the butt-monkey of the series). By later films, he'd become the best, most competent cop around (not that it's saying much with this crew), despite retaining his prankster persona. Steve Guttenberg quits the series afte the 4th movie, leading to a pair of similar replacements.

-Mahoney stats up like a pretty decent PL 5 (75) cop, with almost all his Advantages are in Bluffing & Taunting, making him an effective team player.
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (The Stranger! Children of the Atom! The True Believers!)

Post by catsi563 »

the Clever but lazy slacker was that type of character the guy who had great potential but wasted it because he wanted to take it easy and didnt care to listen to those in authority which in the 80s was the a big hero thing to do because authority was either corrupt or hamstrung by ""too many rules'"
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Jabroniville
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Larvell Jones

Post by Jabroniville »

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LARVELL JONES
Played By:
Michael Winslow
Role: The Sound Effects Guy, Signature Character
PL 4 (66)
STRENGTH
1 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Deception 6 (+7)
Expertise (Pop Culture) 5 (+6)
Expertise (Police Officer) 5 (+6)
Insight 4 (+5)
Perception 4 (+5)
Stealth 4 (+6)
Vehicles 4 (+6)

Advantages:
Daze (Deception), Equipment 4 (Pistol +5, Police Car), Set-Up, Teamwork

Powers:
"Mimicry Mastery"
Illusion (Audio) 5 (Drawbacks: Noticeable- Lips Moving) [4]

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Pistol +2 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +2, Fortitude +4, Will +3

Complications:
Motivation (Police Work)

Total: Abilities: 32 / Skills: 32--16 / Advantages: 8 / Powers: 4 / Defenses: 6 (66)

-Though Mahoney was the main character, it's Larvell Jones who is by far the most famous character in the Police Academy franchise, and its most-seen member- he apears in all seven movies (one of only three characters to do so, alongside Tackleberry & Lassard), the cartoon, and even the live-action series. "The guy who does the sound effects" is often mentioned in other shows and movies as well, with someone imitating him pretending to be gunfire and things like that. In the first film, he's kind of a stoic sort until he imitates sound effects in order to trick people- this saves the day in the finale when he mimics a police helicopter and gunfire to get a ton of rioters to give up. He continues on in later movies, generally paired up with Mahoney now, as his various foils & partners are less interesting and eventually leave the series.

-Jones is a master mimic, imitating gunfire, several police loudspeakers at once, different people, etc. Like my build of "Scarface" from the Batman: TAS universe, I felt that's best established with Powers instead of Skills. In this case, it's an audial Illusion with a necessary Drawback, making it a pretty cheap power. Essentially, he bluffs out and scares the bad guys into making stupid mistakes, allowing his compatriots to follow in. He also has martial arts prowess, utilized by sounding like fake dubbing.
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (The Stranger! Children of the Atom! The True Believers!)

Post by Tattooedman »

Police Academy was a favorite movie of mine when it came out, like most almost teenaged boys whose dad's didn't mind a little T&A mixed in with the comedy (mine typically say something along the lines of "hello rosebud" during a boobie shot). Granted the series did not age well (along with several other movies - Revenge of the Nerds spring to mind). Still good for a cheap laugh if you've got time to watch it, but I've never watched anything past the 4th movie.

Kim Cattrall was the female lead in the 80s romantic comedy Mannequin, alongside Andrew McCarthy.
Jabroniville wrote: Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:45 pm
LOl- "The Tattooed Man"? What kind of ABSOLUTE DILDO would refer to himself as "The Tattooed Man" :P!?!
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (The Stranger! The True Believers! Police Academy!)

Post by Sidney369 »

There was also a six issue comic series published in 1989 by Marvel, which was based on the cartoon.
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Hooks

Post by Jabroniville »

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LAVERNE HOOKS
Played By:
Marion Ramsey
Role: The Timid One, One-Note Gag
PL 4 (26)
STRENGTH
-1/2 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0/3 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE -2

Skills:
Deception 2 (+0)
Expertise (Police Officer) 4 (+4)
Insight 2 (+2)
Perception 4 (+4)

Advantages:
Equipment 4 (Pistol +5, Police Car)

Powers:
"Angry Hooks"
Enhanced Strength 3 (Flaws: Uncontrolled) [3]
Enhanced Fighting 3 (Flaws: Uncontrolled) [3]
Enhanced Will 4 (Flaws: Uncontrolled) [2]
Enhanced Advantages 2: Power Attack, Startle (Flaws: Uncontrolled) [1]
Enhanced Skills 9: Intimidation 9 (+7) (Flaws: Uncontrolled) [3]

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
Angry Hooks +3 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Pistol +2 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +0 (+3, DC 10-13), Toughness +0, Fortitude +2, Will +0 (+4 Angry)

Complications:
Motivation (Police Work)
Responsibility (Pushover)- Hooks is infamously timid, cowardly and unassertive.

Total: Abilities: -2 / Skills: 12--6 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 12 / Defenses: 6 (26)

-Hooks was pretty much just a one-note gag in the series (well, okay, they're ALL one-note gags, but this character pretty much ONLY did one thing and didn't engage in much of anything else), that being a nervous, stuttering, unintimidating woman who was picked on and scared away by everybody else, much to their own amusement. Her best moments came at least once per film, when she'd finally had enough and absolutely SNAPS, terrifying everyone else with her famous line "FREEZE, DIRTBAGS!" and saving the day.... then they pretty much just repeated that all the time. In the rest of the series and cartoon, she is paired off with Hightower- the two appear in every film but the last, and the cartoon.

-Hooks is basically two different characters- the waste of space she normally is, and this insanely angry, powerful woman who scares the crap out of crooks. Basically, an Uncontrolled set of boosts to her stats. Pretty much the least useful cop because of it, but she can surprise people.
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Hightower

Post by Jabroniville »

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MOSES HIGHTOWER
Played By:
Bubba Smith
Role: The Gentle Giant
PL 6 (76)
STRENGTH
6 STAMINA 6 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Deception 5 (+6)
Expertise (Florist) 7 (+8)
Expertise (Police Officer) 4 (+5)
Insight 3 (+4)
Intimidation 9 (+10)
Investigation 4 (+4)
Perception 4 (+4)

Advantages:
Equipment 4 (Pistol +5, Police Car), Fast Grab, Improved Grab, Improved Hold, Power Attack, Startle

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Pistol +2 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +2, Fortitude +6, Will +4

Complications:
Motivation (Police Work)

Total: Abilities: 42 / Skills: 36--18 / Advantages: 9 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 7 (76)

-Hightower is one of the more famous characters from the movies, being the gigantic black guy who scares the crap out of the villains and gets comical feats of strength (such as flipping over a police car with officers still inside it when one of them uses a racial slur against Hooks, tearing out a car seat, or saying "now I'm mad" after being hit by a ton of falling debris). He even had the ironic quality of being a professional florist outside of the Academy, though Roger Ebert noted in his scathing review of the film, it would have been much more funny to have him be the coward or gay, or something. In the first movie, he is drummed out of the Academy for flipping the car of the two academy bullies over, but saves the day in the end when both Mahoney & Lt. Harris are taken captive by a gun-wielding riot leader. He approaches the man, suggesting "I just wanna watch you blow away these pigs" at Harris, whom both realize he hates, but beats up the leader instead. He & Hooks were paired up as partners pretty quickly- this extends to the first six movies and the cartoon series. He's handy if you just want to scare your players (in a criminal-based campaign) with the odd giant cop.

-Hightower's a physical monster, having above-human stats- cartoonish superhuman strength. He's pretty limited to just being a melee fighter, with nearly all his Advantages and abilities going towards that (he's a poor driver, but a decent florist with a presumed knowledge of chemicals), but in a comic group like the Academy Class, that's pretty decent.
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Tackleberry

Post by Jabroniville »

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EUGENE TACKLEBERRY
Played By:
David Graf
Role: The Gun Nut
PL 6 (59)
STRENGTH
2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 3 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Tactics) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Saxophone) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Police Officer) 4 (+4)
Intimidation 6 (+6)
Perception 4 (+4)
Vehicles 6 (+8)

Advantages:
All-Out Attack, Equipment 4 (Magnum +6, Police Car), Improved Aim, Improved Critical (Magnum), Power Attack, Precise Attack (Ranged/Cover), Ranged Attack 4

Offense:
Unarmed +3 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Magnum +6 (+6 Ranged Damage, DC 21)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +5 (DC 15), Toughness +3, Fortitude +3, Will +4

Complications:
Motivation (Police Work)
Obsession (Guns)- Tackleberry LOVES guns- the bigger and more dangerous the better.
Relationship (Wife)- Tackleberry ends up married in a later film.

Total: Abilities: 24 / Skills: 28--14 / Advantages: 13 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 8 (59)

-Tackleberry is the crazed gun-nut of the Police Academy crew, with a love of guns and destruction second to none. Not alot of comedic gun-nuts out there I've found, and Tackleberry's arguably the most famous. Hell, his cartoon version used a BAZOOKA instead of a regulation firearm! In the toon, he was paired with Lt. Callahan, where they were treated as the ultra-serious types- Tackleberry blowing holes in things with ludicrously-huge firearms was still the gag, but he was utterly straight-laced about it, much like John Cena's Peacemaker is in the movies these days. This is a big contrast to the movies, where he's seen as a potentially-dangerous gun-crazy lunatic. There, he got married to a fellow gun-nut- the second movie makes a point that despite his aggressive personality and macho mannerisms, the 28-year old was still a virgin and didn't talk much to women.

-A PL higher than his comrades thanks to his high-impact gun and better accuracy, Tackleberry nonetheless falls shorter on points, having little in the way of investigative skill, bluffing talent, or anything else that comes in handy to cops. His basic strategy is to run in, shoot at anything that moves, and then shoot again instead of asking questions later. He was typically given a motorcycle in the cartoon, treated like a helmeted motorcycle cop.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Fri Mar 18, 2022 3:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (The Stranger! The True Believers! Police Academy!)

Post by Ares »

I think my favorite example of Hightower's strength in one of the movies was when the crew needed to go down into the sewers. Instead of just casually taking it off and tossing it aside, Hightower PUNCHES one side of the cover, causing the thing to flip up into the air like it was a coin someone had just flicked upwards with his thumb. Just something about that was cool to me.

There was also the running joke with Tackleberry that despite his ludicrous skill with firearms, he never actually got to take part in any of the shoot outs in the show . . . largely because he'd probably kill all the tension . . . along with the bad guys.
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Lt. Callahan

Post by Jabroniville »

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Image
Image

DEBBIE CALLAHAN
Played By:
Leslie Easterbrook
Role: Miss Fanservice, Intense Instructor, Fitness Freak
PL 4 (79)
STRENGTH
2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 3
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Acrobatics 5 (+8)
Deception 3 (+5, +7 Attractive)
Expertise (Police Officer/Trainer) 7 (+8)
Insight 3 (+5)
Intimidation 5 (+7)
Investigation 2 (+5)
Perception 5 (+7)
Vehicles 2 (+4)

Advantages:
All-Out Attack, Attractive, Equipment 4 (Pistol +4, Police Car), Defensive Attack, Fast Grab, Improved Critical (Unarmed), Improved Hold, Improved Trip, Power Attack, Ranged Attack 4

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Pistol +6 (+4 Ranged Damage, DC 19)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +5 (DC 15), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +4, Will +4

Complications:
Motivation (Police Work)

Total: Abilities: 42 / Skills: 32--16 / Advantages: 16 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 5 (79)

-Callahan was a pretty funny character in the first movie, being the uber-babe drill instructor who was still terrifying and violent. This made her the resident Miss Fanservice of the series, but also led to some of the better gags- stuff like beating up a guy and straddling his face, only to get a ton of eager recruits for more lessons. Most infamously, a later movie sees her jump into the pool wearing a white t-shirt, then asking "Well?Who's going to rescue me?" with her breasts now totally visible and dozens and dozens of men INSTANTLY leap into the pool, causing her to make for the other side.

-Callahan was more of an "intense instructor" than a villain like Lt. Harris- and apparently a passionate, dangerous lover, as she catches someone sneaking about in a restricted area, grabs him for some Snu-Snu, and you see him limping along afterwards. She is used in a few gags like this in later movies, and hooks up with Cadet Nagata in later ones. She's one of the most commonly-seen characters, appearing in every movie but the second (leaving the Academy left both her & Harris out, but she returned one movie before he did). The cartoon series features her & Tackleberry as partners- here, her passionate stuff is ramped down (I mean, it was a 1980s cartoon) and she's instead just a brusque, ultra-serious by-the-book type, albeit completely stoic around Tackleberry's blowing shit up with his bazooka, not even scolding him.

-Callahan's one of the most competent police officers on the force, without any major flaws or weaknesses, and is one of the few (along with Mahoney) who could likely be played almost straight as background officers in a campaign. She's a bit of a Combat Goddess for a low-leveller, having Power Attack and a few Throw-based Advantages in there.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Fri Mar 18, 2022 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (The Stranger! The True Believers! Police Academy!)

Post by Arcae »

I assume The Ethereals are now getting high at the same party all those 'I have abtained enlightnement and will now go to SPACE' types running around the Comic Book cosmos.
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