Jab’s Builds! (Whomp 'Em! Plumbers Don't Wear Ties! ToeJam & Earl!)

[Jabroniville]

I assume The Ethereals are now getting high at the same party all those 'I have abtained enlightnement and will now go to SPACE' types running around the Comic Book cosmos.

I really wonder how many times that's happened. The shroom-eating Marvel writers of the '70s wrote a lot of stuff along those lines.

[Jabroniville]

"Alright, people, let's go! MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT!!"

LT. THADDEUS HARRIS
Played By: G.W. Bailey
Role: Angry Instructor, Butt-Monkey, Asshole Authority Figure
PL 3 (22)
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Deception 4 (+3)
Expertise (Police Officer) 4 (+4)
Intimidation 3 (+2)
Investigation 5 (+5)
Perception 1 (+1)
Vehicles 3 (+5)

Advantages:
Benefit 1 (Rank), Equipment 4 (Pistol +4, Police Car)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Pistol +2 (+4 Ranged Damage, DC 19)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +1 (DC 11), Parry +1 (DC 11), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +1

Complications:
Enemy ("MA-HO-NEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!")- Harris has despised the glib, sarcastic Mahoney from the beginning, and wants to sabotage him every chance he gets.

Total: Abilities: 4 / Skills: 20--10 / Advantages: 5 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (22)

-If you watched any 1980s comedies, you saw guys like this a lot- blustering, asshole authority figures who were clueless jerks, and always hated the main heroes, who were glib, sarcastic and rebellious. As America in particular values the rebellious anti-authority sorts, it's easy conflict-making, as we identify with the heroes and laugh at these uncool, stick-up-the-ass types. Lt. Harris, like most of them, is incompetent and an ass-kisser, so doesn't deserve his job, thus justifying the hate he gets. He was a hard-assed drill seargeant who is nonetheless incompetent, cowardly, weak and obnoxious, and is therefore the butt of nearly every joke the main characters can come up with. His "Move it! Move it! Move it!" is pretty famous, as is "Maaahoneeeyyyyyy!!!" thanks to the all-encompassing nature of the series and the fact that everyone's watched at least one or two of the films, so he's pretty iconic as far as "Crappy Boss Characters" go.

-Harris actually misses out on Police Academy 2-3, with the villainous Lt. Mauser used in his place. Then suddenly he shows up in the fourth movie, having adopted Mauser's useless subordinate Proctor (in the first movie, his only minions are a pair of "good" recruits who bully Hooks, Barbera and the others). In the later films, he "leads" the Police Academy recruits at all times thanks to a Mr. Feeney-esque plot device that always sees him promoted to just a bit in charge of them. In the cartoon series, he's again a scheming dolt (at one point altering police records to turn the Academy doofuses into scholars to finagle the squad a spot on a space mission, "I'll turn ZED into Doctor Zed, with a degree in nuclear physics!"). Most notably, I recall him being voiced by Burt Raccoon, with an identical voice- that nasal, high-pitched voice turned to a whiny villain instead of a friendly layabout.

-Lt. Harris is pretty much the most useless Academy character, being wimpy, stupid, cowardly and uncharismatic around everybody. He's a half-decent Drill Instructor with his Intimidate, but it doesn't really work well on anyone with a decent Will Save (it mainly intimidates the fat recruits & Hooks), and he's worse in combat than nearly every other cop in the series, needing to be saved constantly.

[Jabroniville]

More fun times with ancient comments!
Old Comments:

Postby MorningKnight (that's Skaramine under his old name) » Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:50 pm

Can't wait to see Hightower and Tackleberry.
Morning Knight's Nook.

Postby Dreaming Psion » Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:57 am

Heehee, these type of lower level cop builds are actually quite good for supporting cast in a street level game or really an heoric but "down-to-earth" games. Do you have any plans of doing Night Court builds as well?
Check out the anime/manga 3e thread

Postby Jabroniville » Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:51 am

I've always meant to watch that show, but sadly I missed the era it was both on originally, and when it was on in syndication. Consequently, I've only seen a few episodes, and couldn't really build them. Sorry.

I do plan on doing other TV show builds here and there, between bigger superhero ones. Mostly sitcom people with specific jobs and stuff like that. It won't be a giant thing, just a neat little distraction to throw out.

Postby MorningKnight » Wed Jun 17, 2009 12:31 pm

I might do a Bull Shannon when I get some time in the near future.

The episode where he got struck my lightning proved that he was at least a PL8 (defensively) hero in a sitcom.

"How's Bull been acting [since he got hit by lightning]?"
"Nothing new. He just stands there and hums."
*cut to Bull, emitting an electrical buzz.*


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Postby Thorpacolypse » Fri Jun 19, 2009 7:02 am

Loved those Police Academy builds, Jabroni. Loved those movies in college.

And out of respect for bringing back some memories of my salad days, I will enable your selective memory and say, "I'm sorry, Jabroni, I must have been mistaken, there really was no third TMNT movie."
Shop J-Mart!

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Postby Libra » Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:45 am

You know your recent posts have given me a rather bizarre idea for the most 80s crossover I can conceive - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles meets Police Academy.

(If you can think up an even more 80s crossover don't hesitate to suggest one!)

[Sidney369]

Why does Tackleberry have Addiction (Food) as a complication? I assume that was a leftover from a Barbara/House build. Triggerhappy. Obsession (Firearms/Gunplay), or something similar should work.

[Jabroniville]

Why does Tackleberry have Addiction (Food) as a complication? I assume that was a leftover from a Barbara/House build. Triggerhappy. Obsession (Firearms/Gunplay), or something similar should work.

Yeah- I fixed it.

[Jabroniville]

ZED McGLUNK
Played By: Bobcat Goldthwait
Role: The Weirdo
PL 3 (31)
STRENGTH 1 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE -2 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Deception 4 (+3)
Expertise (Streetwise) 7 (+5)
Expertise (Police Officer) 2 (+0)
Intimidation 5 (+5)
Perception 3 (+3)
Vehicles 3 (+5)

Advantages:
Equipment 4 (Pistol +4, Police Car), Power Attack

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Pistol +2 (+4 Ranged Damage, DC 19)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +2, Fortitude +2, Will +3

Complications:
Responsibility (Weirdo)- Zed is a weirdo outcast even by the standards of this motley crew.

Total: Abilities: 10 / Skills: 24--12 / Advantages: 5 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 4 (31)

-Zed is the breakout role of insanely-voiced comedian Bobcat Goldthwait (who somehow, with that face, hooked up with Nikki Cox), appearing in the second movie as a street thug leading a violent gang, then suddenly becoming a cop in the later movies because the studios or writers or whoever enjoyed the character. He ended up becoming the pratfalling comic relief of an already comic cast, especially in the cartoon, where he was the resident dunderhead lunatic with a funny voice. He generally ends up paired with a short, nerdy officer named Carl Sweetchuck who has few notable qualities at all aside from being a permanent victim of Zed's lunacy or someone else's. Both characters last only from Police Academy 2-4, despite being a major duo in the cartoon as the most slapsticky guys.

-Zed's even less capable than his comrades, but has a kind of insane charisma that makes him a useful distraction.

[Jabroniville]

CARL SWEETCHUCK
Played By: Tim Kazurinsky
Role: Tiny Nerd, Bullying Victim
PL 3 (16)
STRENGTH -1 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Deception 2 (+1)
Expertise (Police Officer) 3 (+4)
Expertise (Business) 2 (+3)
Investigation 2 (+2)
Perception 3 (+3)

Advantages:
Equipment 4 (Pistol +4, Police Car)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (-1 Damage, DC 17)
Pistol +2 (+4 Ranged Damage, DC 19)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +1, Will +1

Complications:
Rivalry (Zed)- The two are enemies at first, as Zed repeatedly stole from his shop when he was in a gang. Later, they were partners in the Academy- Zed still annoys Sweetchuck greatly, but they get along much better now.

Total: Abilities: 2 / Skills: 12--6 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 2 (16)

-Sweetchuck was a major character in the cartoon, being a dwarfish dweeby guy paired up with Zed. The movies played him up as a patsy for Zed's gang in Police Academy 2- both characters went over so well they were made cops in the third movie, with Sweetchuck being a victim of Zed's insanity more than once. They only make one more movie before leaving the series.

[Jabroniville]

THOMAS "HOUSE" CONKLIN
Played By: Tab Thacker
Role: The Fat Guy
PL 4 (38)
STRENGTH 3 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 3 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Police Officer) 3 (+3)
Insight 2 (+2)
Intimidation 3 (+3)
Investigation 4 (+4)
Perception 2 (+2)

Advantages:
Equipment 4 (Pistol +5, Police Car)

Powers:
"Fatty Fatty Boombalatty" Features 2: Increased Mass 2 [2]

Offense:
Unarmed +3 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Pistol +2 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +3 (DC 13), Toughness +3, Fortitude +3, Will +3

Complications:
Motivation (Police Work)
Addiction (Food)

Total: Abilities: 22 / Skills: 14--7 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 2 / Defenses: 3 (38)

-House is one of the few later characters with any longevity, but only appeared in Police Academy 4-5 in theaters- the obvious sight gag of this ENORMOUS cop also made him a backgrounder in the cartoon, at least. The joke with him was obviously his tremendous obesity- even more than previous "Fat Guys", he was seen as a ludicrous food addict and obesitron (one sight gag sees him changing seats on an airplane, causing the plane to tilt). This becomes less funny when you find out that the real actor lost both of his legs to diabetes, and didn't live past 45.

-House is pretty strong and has weight so grand it's a Power in itself.

[Jabroniville]

OTHER CHARACTERS:
LESLIE BARBARA: A hapless fat guy and Mahoney's partner/foil in the first film. A victim of bullying by the other recruits, he ultimately KO's one with a lunch tray to the face.
DOUGLAS FACKLER: A mild-mannered dweeb in the first movie. His wife tries to stop him from joining the academy. Seen briefly in the third, trying to stop his WIFE from joining.
BLANKES & COPELAND: A pair of mean, nasty recruits in the first movie, they are quickly favored by Lt. Harris and pick on Mahoney & Barbara, quickly becoming victimized by various pranks. A running gag sees them end up at the Blue Oyster Bar (a gay bar), being forced to dress with leather-daddies. They end up allied with new villain Lt. Mauser in the 3rd movie- Copeland reappears in the 4th under Lt. Harris again. Neither appear in later movies or shows, save for a one-off in the cartoon for Copeland.
GEORGE MARTIN: Appears as a Latino heartthrob, but later reveals he's American descended from Spaniards and plays it up for chicks. Dates Lt. Callahan by the end of the first movie, but does not reappear. I don't remember this guy at all.
KAREN THOMPSON: A bored socialite looking for something to do and people "who aren't like me and my mother". Played by Kim Cattrall, she ends up dating Mahoney. Does not reappear, resulting in new girlfriends in each movie.
CHIEF HENRY HURST: Actually appears in the first six movies- he's as disgusted with the out of shape early recruits as Lt. Harris is, wanting them to wash out, but grows to love and respect them. Dislikes Harris & Mauser for being open kiss-asses and trying to harm the recruits- he's one of the few characters to always know what's going on.
COMMANDANT ERIC LASSARD: A slow-talking, dopey-seeming old man obsessed with his pet fish. Seen as a more positive figure in the police and an ally to the gang at the Academy- kind of a Henry Blake-style "harmless authority figure" type. Makes long-winded speeches. Famously gets blown by a hooker in the first movie as a result of Mahoney's prank, but gets him back in the end (Mahoney feels his pants unzip and then sees Lassard smirking at him).

Later Characters:
BUD KIRKLAND: Mrs. Tackleberry's younger brother- a boxer who appears in Police Academy 2-4.
KATHLEEN TACKLEBERRY: Marries Eugene, and is a gun nut just like him. Appears in only the 2nd & 4th movies.
VINNIE SCHTULMAN: A replacement for Barbera- a fat guy who is Mahoney's first partner in Police Academy 2. Does not appear again.
LT. MAUSER: A replacment for Lt. Harris, Mauser is the villain of Police Academy 2-3, as an actual cop and not a trainer like Harris was. With his minion Proctor, tries to sabotage the Academy grads and get them fired. In the cartoon he is reimagined as a good guy- the leader of the K9 Corps.
CARL PROCTOR: Proctor debuted as Mauser's minion in Police Academy 2, and kept the role even when Harris returned, becoming his stooge instead. He even fills the "Incompetent Minion" role in the cartoon series! He's a childlike doofus and easily pranked.
TOMOKO NAGATA: Japanese recruit in Police Academy 3-4. Enters a relationship with Lt. Callahan.
NICK LASSARD: A replacement for Mahoney as team leader and chief prankster- when Guttenberg left the series they seemingly just cloned his character for this guy, Cmdt. Lassard's nephew.
KYLE CONNORS: A replacement for Mahoney & Nick Lassard, appearing only in Mission of Moscow. He cheated to get onto Commandant Lassard's team in Moscow.

[Jabroniville]

THE TRIKON
Created By: Gerry Conway & Mike Sekowsky
First Appearance: Amazing Adventures #9 (Nov. 1971)
Role: One-Off Creation
Group Affiliations: The Alpha Primitives

-The Trikon are a trio of Alpha Primitives- the slave race of the Inhumans. Many years ago, Maximus the Mad had taken them and enhanced their brains to near-human intelligence, and ordered them to break into the chambers holding the Terrigen Mists, exposing them to higher concentrations that anyone had ever done. The result was that they transformed into living energy- a trio of spheres. The "Trikon" thus convinced the Alpha Primitives to rise up against the Inhumans who'd oppressed them for so long- the Trikon destroyed many buildings of the Great Refuge, but Black Bolt used his voice to force them into a dimensional portal to the Negative Zone. The Trikon promised that they would come back and kill the Inhumans. They returned an issue later, kidnapping a human boy who had befriended the Inhumans, but again they were banished. Medusa was brain-damaged during the battle, which is the reason why she was amnesiac when she first came to Marvel readers' attention as a member of the Frightful Four.

-This odd little one-off (which dances around the fact that the heroic Inhumans have a SLAVE RACE working for them) was all they ever got (as the Inhumans stories were cancelled and this aspect of it dropped)... but naturally many years late they appeared on the Stranger's Laboratory World.

-The Trikon are a trio of flying Energy Beings- no STA scores, Flight, Force Fields, Telekinesis & TK Blasts. Probably PL 8-ish, I dunno- they didn't seem THAT powerful but are tricky.

[Jabroniville]

Okay, so with Police Academy done, it's time to move on to the next thing! First off, y'all might have noticed me doing mini-profiles on some of the extra goons from the Stranger's Laboratory World- I mostly just wanted to have them all described, lol. I'll do this off and on since they're minor, forgettable characters for the most part (considering they all got forgotten).

Next Up: A few updated builds from 5 years ago! So while I was looking for image links to fix on my thread, I found a few bios that I found a bit sub-par. Mostly guys from the "S" builds- it was 5+ years ago and I'm a tad more elaborate now, so there'll be 4-5 of these dudes with new information added.

After that's done, THEN it's time for the DC Builds, starting with the Justice Society of America & The All-Star Squadron!

[EternalPhoenix]

Oh, my. How exciting.

[Jabroniville]

THE SCORCHER (Steven Hudak)
Created By: Kurt Busiek & Pal Olliffe
First Appearance: Untold Tales of Spider-Man #1 (Sept. 1995)
Role: Jobber Villain, Blaster
Group Affiliations: The Masters of Evil
PL 8 (110)
STRENGTH 1 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 3
FIGHTING 5 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 5 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Athletics 3 (+4)
Close Combat (Unarmed) 2 (+7)
Deception 4 (+5)
Expertise (Criminal) 1 (+6)
Expertise (Science) 5 (+10)
Intimidation 4 (+5)
Perception 2 (+3)
Ranged Combat (Fire) 2 (+8)
Technology 5 (+10)
Vehicles 2 (+4)

Advantages:
Improved Aim, Improved Critical (Fire Blast), Inventor, Ranged Attack 4

Powers:
"Scorcher Power-Suit" (Flaws: Removable) [37]
Flight 6 (120 mph) (12)
Protection 4 (Extras: Impervious 5) (9)
Immunity 6 (Heat, Fire Damage) (6)

Fire Blast 8 (Feats: Split) (17) -- (19)

• AE: "Fire Wave" Damage 8 (Extras: Area- 60ft. Cone) (16)
• AE: "Fire Storm" Damage 8 (Extras: Area- 30ft. Line) (16)

-- (46 points)

Offense:
Unarmed +7 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Fire Blast +8 (+8 Ranged Damage, DC 23)
Fire Area Attacks +8 (+8 Damage, DC 23)
Initiative +3

Defenses:
Dodge +8 (DC 18), Parry +7 (DC 17), Toughness +3 (+7 Suit), Fortitude +5, Will +3

Complications:
Motivation (Greed)
Responsibility (Temper)- Scorcher is prone to acting rashly, and letting his temper get the best of him.
Relationship (Ex-Wife)- Hudak promised his ex-wife to give up crime, but he ultimately went back to it.

Total: Abilities: 40 / Skills: 30--15 / Advantages: 7 / Powers: 37 / Defenses: 11 (110)

-The Scorcher is CLASSIC Jobber material. Created as an early foe for Spidey in the Untold Tales retcon book, he was just your everyday cliched super-villain- Angry Scientist Showing Them All mixed with Elemental Blaster guy after being fired for embezzling from his employer. So Jobber-y was he, that he effectively became a Shocker-level goon overnight, soon becoming just "One Of Those Guys" you often see in background shots at The Bar With No Name or single-panel ass-kickings- oddly, the ONLY character from Untold Tales that went on to recur on any serious level. But rarely with any characterization- once it was made clear he was trying to go straight, but that was it. He's been in the Masters of Evil, The Hood's army, the Chameleon's "Sinister Sixteen", Taskmaster's class of villains at Camp Hammond, Lucia Von Bardas's group, and an inmate at Pleasant Hill, but he didn't really do much in any instance. He's just an eternal backgrounder, but an ideal one, since that big "Fishbowl Armor" thing makes him visually distinctive yet also clearly a loser (since any decent villain would have better-looking gear). When The Shocker just has too much credibility for the fight, you call The Scorcher. He just flat-out sucks and is generic as hell... the perfect Jobber. Were he a wrestler, he'd be Barry Horowitz or the late S.D. Jones.

-Scorcher's a jobber of a PL 8, packing some Ranged Power and Area Fire Attacks, but little else. He's no great shakes defensively (PL 7-7.5) either, meaning that he'll go down like a shot to an experienced PL 10 hero. Which, of course, reflects his comic book appearances. He's also your standard Minor League Comic Book Scientist underneath it all.

[greycrusader]

Shame about Tab Thacker. When young he was an all-around athlete and NCAA wrestling champion.

[Jabroniville]

Dammit- I've been planning to post Banshee and then Siryn on here for more than a MONTH... and I realized I missed St. Patrick's Day by ONE DAY, lol.