Jab’s Builds! (Beaker! Sam Eagle! Miss Piggy! The Swedish Chef!)

Where in all of your character write ups will go.
Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Eric Cartman

Post by Jabroniville »

ImageImageImage

"Do you like your chili, Scott?"

---

"MMMM- the tears of unfathomable sadness- YUMMY!"

---

"If you had a chance to go back in time right now and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him, because I think he was awesome, but you would, right?"


ERIC CARTMAN (aka Fatass, The Coon, AWESOME-O, Bullrog)
Role:
Main Character, The Friend Every Hates, Racist, Misogynist, The Liar
PL 1 (32), PL 2 (32) Defenses
STRENGTH
-2 STAMINA 0 AGILITY -2
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Deception 8 (+8)
Expertise (Singing) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Business) 5 (+5)
Expertise (Oratory) 10 (+10)
Expertise (Ventriloquism) 4 (+4)
Insight 4 (+7)
Investigation 3 (+6)
Perception 2 (+5)
Persuasion 8 (+8)

Advantages:
Ranged Attack 4

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (-2 Damage, DC 13)
Initiative -2

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +3

Complications:
Relationship (Kyle)- Cartman's arch-nemesis is Kyle, whom he hates for being Jewish, being preachy (ie. moral) and for antagoniozing Cartman. He hates Kyle so much that he writes him as dying of AIDS in his stories, once gave him HIV deliberately, pretended to have Tourette's Syndrome just to throw ethnic slurs and Kyle and his father, interrupted Towelie's intervention just to rip on Jews for over and hour (because nobody was allowed to interrupt during an intervention), and once got a court order to force Kyle to suck Eric's balls because he proved that he saw a leprechan. However, he grew so dependent on their rivalry and insults that he grew bored with the submissive Butters, and missed it so much that he risked his life to save Kyle's.
Relationship (Stan)- Cartman seems to tolerate Stan- the two do not fight as much as he does with Kenny or Kyle.
Relationship (Kenny)- Cartman is often seen with Kenny as a partner in crime, though he's still prone to insulting his friend (*everyone walks away* "... God I hate you, Kenny.").
Relationship (Liane- Mom)- Cartman defends his mother from others, who refer to her as a "dirty slut".
Relationship (Heidi Turner)- Cartman has a relationship with Heidi, but soon grows bored with it, and finds her moralizing to be incredibly tiresome. He also detests her "verbal abuse" of him (which is actually just her saying things he disagrees with). Eventually, he likes her a lot more after she becomes more like him.
---
Hatred ("Too Many Minorities")- Cartman has an open distaste for ethnic minorities of any kind. His greatest fear is that a disaster will strike the human race, leaving tons of minorities, with him being "the only majority left".
Hatred (Jews)- Cartman holds a special hatred for Jewish people, particularly Kyle. He once attempted a Final Solution after watching The Passion of the Christ, openly declares his love of Mel Gibson, and more.
Hatred (Gingers)- Cartman eventually added gingers to his list of people to hate, accusing them of being disgusting-looking and having no souls.
Hatred (Hippies)- Cartman was a Hippie Exterminator for a time- he finds their condescension, "tunes" and lazy nature to be anathema.
Hatred (Family Guy)- Cartman despises the show Family Guy, believing that the offensive humor is unacceptable from anyone who isn't "just a little boy!" like him.
---
Responsibility (Everyone With Their Own Race)- Despite his dislike for minorities, Cartman loves it to the point of weeping when people of the same race start dating. When a black girl joined South Park Elementary, Cartman was immediately aflutter at the idea of hooking her up with Token, and schemed to get them together.
Responsibility (Cat Lover)- Cartman actually risks his freedom in order to protect cats when the people of the town become addicted to cat pee. However, in other episodes, he abuses cats.
Responsibility (Trends)- Cartman is nearly always first to jump in with a trend. Unless it's High School Musical themed.
Responsibility (Self-Deluded)- Cartman has a peculiar way of rewriting the past and convincing himself of certain things. He uses this to justify his own behavior, to the point where he will literally believe in these delusions.
Reputation (Inviting Trouble)- Clyde points out that nobody else in school likes Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny, because of their consistent tendency to search out trouble, inviting all manner of calamity to South Park, such as when they accidentally called forth an army of destructive giant Guinea Pigs to town.
---
Enemy (Scott Tenorman)- Scott was an older kid who relentlessly pranked Cartman, and constantly got one over on him. The humiliations eventually got to the point where Cartman arranged for Scott's parents to be killed, then tricked Scott into eating chili made from their corpses. The tears of Scott's unfathomable sadness were said to be yummy.
Enemy (Trent Boyett)- Trent was framed by the boys for setting fires in their preschool classroom, and now seeks to hunt down all four boys. Given that Trent can badly injure dozens of Sixth Graders, this is quite a terrifying predicament.
Relationship (Stuffed Animals)- Cartman used to have bizarre conversations with his stuffed animals, as Polly Pissy-Pants, Clyde Frog and others would inform Eric of his greatness. He eventually murdered them one by one in an attempt to "grow up".
Reputation (Evil, Racist Fatass)- Cartman is probably the most hated person in South Park- his selfishness and cruelty are known to everyone.
Involuntary Transformation (Mitch Connor)- Cartman's hand occasionally takes the form of Mitch Connor, a much older man with knowledge that Cartman lacks. Connor had initially pretended to be Jennifer Lopez, carrying on a sexual affair with Ben Affleck, who left the other J-Lo to be with this one. It was believed that he had control of the hand, but it occasionally argued with him, jerked off Ben Affleck repeatedly via "oral sex", and knew the identity of Cartman's father.
Disabled (Selective OCD)- Cartman must finish the song Come Sail Away by Styx if he ever hears the opening lyrics. This can be used to distract him temporarily.
Secret ("My Cousin and I Touched Wieners!")
Secret ("I Cry Sometimes At Night 'Cause I Don't Have a Dad!")
Secret ("I Wet The Bed Last Night!")
---
Addiction (Food)- Cartman eats to excess constantly.
Obsession (Having Things)- Cartman is incredibly selfish and jealous- he insists upon getting a present for each birthday present a friend gets, and makes lists of presents that people are to buy him for his own birthday. He will throw temper tantrums in public if his mother refuses to buy him the latest in technology.
Motivation (Greed)- Cartman is intensely greedy- he has started a Crack Baby Basketball League (with unpaid "slave labor" crack babies), sold aborted fetuses, and more.
Responsibility (Clueless)- Though at times worldly, Cartman often has difficulty understanding basic knowledge. When asked what to do if a girl messes with him, Cartman suggests that he'll "kick her in the balls".
Disabled (Fatass)- Cartman is so unathletic that his attempt at becoming the Special Olympian with the most medals actually fails, because even handicapped children are better athletes than he is.
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: 2 / Skills: 48--24 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 4 (34)

Cartman- South Park Icon:
-South Park would have been a very fun, very vulgar show without Cartman as a major character, but he's what really set it into the stratosphere. Not just an unlikeable douche, but possibly one of the most selfish jerkwads in all of fiction, Cartman was basically given nothing but negative character traits, but humiliated at every turn so nobody could live vicariously through his insulting mannerisms. It's really an art form just HOW MUCH of a prick Cartman is- his open hatred of Jews, his admiration of Adolf Hitler, his pure selfishness, etc. He is a complete sadist, writing stories featuring Satanic woodland critters and enjoying the suffering of others. In an era in which every cartoon show seems to feature a sociopathic, selfish main character, Cartman stands head and shoulders above them- the creativity of Stone & Parker give him an ENDLESS supply of new lows to reach; his depravity and hatred for others knows no bounds. How many of those OTHER Asshole Protagonists have tried to start a new Final Solution, given their friend HIV on purpose, pretended to be mentally retarded to win the Special Olympics, gotten a man's wife to kill herself because the man criticized him, or convinced several women to get abortions so that he could sell their aborted fetuses for Stem Cell research?

-Part of the beauty of the character is his dialogue, and the voice acting. Spoken and then modified electronically, Cartman ends up with a trait Mike Judge characters end up having- everything he says comes through with peak hilarity. His deadpan reactions (a flat "WHAT." when Butters reveals the he has a recording of Cartman in drag), his whining ("B't, MEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMM" when he whines to his mother), his odd pronunciations of everyone's names ("Kyel", "Kyenny"), etc.- it all works, and it's all fantastic.

"Let Me Taste Your Tears, Scott!":
-Cartman's master stroke is unquestionably in Scott Tenorman Must Die, in which he arranges to have the parents of a boy who was picking on him killed, then has him eat their corpses as part of a chili cook-off. His cold reading of these events to a horrified Scott, then his rapturous glee at Scott's resulting emotional breakdown (which consisted of learning his parents were dead, the knowledge that he'd just consumed their corpses, and then had his favorite band Radiohead see him crying- so they wouldn't think he was cool), is pretty much the single finest moment of the series. "Let me taste your tears, Scott! MMM- the tears of unfathomable sadness- yummy!"

-The episode where he "helps" Jimmy write a joke about fishsticks is a perfect summation of the character. In reality, he's merely present while Jimmy comes up with the joke, which soon becomes a national sensation. However, Eric demands co-writing credit. Jimmy is reluctant to give it, only for the other boys to insist he be glad Cartman ONLY wants that. For as the episode goes on, Cartman rewrites and rewrites the circumstances of events in his head, until he is the only person who wrote the joke (amidst something horrible the Jews were doing, of course), and he is 100% in the right. Jimmy is mortified, while Kyle simply shrugs and says "I KNOW you believe it, Cartman". It's hilarious and sick because I actually have a friend who does this- completely forgetting negative things that happened to him, and reconstructing conversations until he is "correct", to the point where you can't even call him a liar. Stuff like telling us years ago why a girlfriend broke up with him (because all he wanted to do was lie around and bone, instead of go anywhere), then acting completely confused when we brought it up 4-5 years later. Or doing the "Your boyfriend SUCKS- you should get together with ME!" thing, then denying it years later when he complained about a guy doing it to HIS girlfriend. It's absolutely fascinating to watch how self-centered people will shift things in their minds to make it entirely about them, and to make sure they come off in the right.

Cartman the Butt-Monkey:
-This character could have been intolerable if not for the fact that he gets his comeuppance nearly constantly. Eric is frequently beaten up, abused, insulted, openly-hated, and more- one memorable episode features him winning his dream (his own theme park), only to lose it all by episode's end. The breakdown that results ("It's not fair! I wanna die! I WANNA DIE!") ends up giving Kyle the will to reverse the illness that's killing him. When he fakes Tourette's Syndrome just so he can say whatever he wants (including SCREAMING racial slurs at Kyle's parents), his filter eventually breaks down entirely, and he's confessing all manner of humiliating personal issues. He dresses up as the robot AWESOME-O in order to prank Butters... but finds himself forced to play the character for an entire weekend when he finds out Butters is holding video tape of him dressing in drag and serenading a Justin Timberlake cut-out. Butters discovers the ruse, and soon the ENTIRE TOWN is laughing at and taunting him as it's played on the big screen. And his awful, evil plan to fake a handicap in order to win the Special Olympics ("What condition does he have?" "... He's RETARDED." "... No, I mean what type of condition does he have?" "... What condition DO you have, son?" "... How should I know- I'm RETARDED! BUUUHHHHHHHHH!") is not only called out as excptionally bad even by his standards (Kyle begs him to not go through with it), but he's such a poor athlete that he STILL scores the worst in every event!

Cartman's Stats:
-Cartman is an interesting case as far as statistics go- he is physically inept, but an excellent liar and manipulator. He convinces the U.S. Senate to allow for the use of stem cells (not out of hope for medical advancements, but to clone his favorite restaurant), gets several women to get abortions, successfully impersonates an adult male teacher to a group of inner city Latino kids, forms several short-lived businesses (such as a Crack Baby athletic league), and convinces many people to riot.

As Bullrog: Cartman states that Bullrog has "Lots and lots of powers", as, like many annoying children, he is a Power Geek who insists upon his guy being the mightiest. The only powers seen were the power to see into the future (but better than Kyle), and to turn Kyle into a chicken. These powers may be taken away by Kyle. He uses some "Killer Sais".
As The Coon: In the video game, The Coon uses claws, slashing various characters with Takedown or Multiattack.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Tue May 17, 2022 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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HalloweenJack
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Terrance & Phillip! Mr. Hankey! Mr. Mackey! Cartman!)

Post by HalloweenJack »

He did beat up that little person once though. So there's that.


Also I thought his doll was Polly PRISSY Pants. Hunh, either way it works.


And yeah, I too had a friend like this. Somewhat. She was my best friend all through high school and in order to continue the HalloweenJack trend, yes we did also date and bone at times, but sometimes she would really rewrite past experiences.

Case in point, after she got her driver's license she told me that she only got it because she broke down in crocodile tears until the instructor felt sorry for her and passed her. Years later when I brought it up, she vehemently denied it. So very Cartman like in that way.

She also got very angry with me when I wouldn't help her break into her old apartment to get some stuff she had left there (she moved out the day before) and just went full on tantrum about it. I'm like "I'm not breaking into somewhere for you and risking going to jail. Why don't you just talk to the landlord? I'm sure they'd be reasonable about it"

"'B'ET JEEEEEECCCK I DUNWANNA!"


Though unlike Cartman....this girl could FIGHT. I mean if she had stayed in shape and hit the gym more (she kinda lost her figure after having a kid) girl coulda been in MMA. She really could have....which is so odd because of how much of a priss she was 99% of the time.

But that's my story. I'm sure you've heard it all before.

*sits back in the alley with his thermos....and that's all he needs*
Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Mrs. Cartman

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

LIANE CARTMAN
Role:
Crack-Whore, Omnisexual Slut
PL 0 (14), PL 1 (14) Defenses
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Deception 4 (+5, +7 Attractive)
Expertise (Dirty Slut) 8 (+8)
Persuasion 4 (+5, +7 Attractive)

Advantages:
Attractive, Ultimate Dirty Slut

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +1, Will +1

Complications: 
Relationship (Eric- Son)- Mrs. Cartman dotes upon her young son, and spoils him rotten, which has left him a selfish, unreasonable person. Though she is horrified by much of his behavior ("Don't say 'tits', hon!"), she has nobody else in her life, and seeks any form of a relationship, even if it comes by way of spoiling him.
Reputation ("At least MY Mom's not on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine!")- Mrs. Cartman is a legendary slut, to the point where almost every man in town could be seen as a potential father for Eric (and several women could have been his mother). She has been defecated on in German videos, and may in fact have been a crack whore at some point.
Responsibility (Female)- All females become famished for blowjobs after seeing Broadway musicals, via extremely-subtle subliminal messaging.

Total: Abilities: 2 / Skills: 16--8 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 2 (14)

-Mrs. Cartman's a fairly important character, but lacks the focus both Stan & Kyle's parents get. A single mother, she spoils her son rotten, and is generally seen as the cause of a lot of Cartman's negative character traits (for example, she makes sure that every time he goes to a birthday party, he gets a present to go along with every gift the birthday boy receives). She's also a GIANT slut, much to the amusement of Stan, Kyle & Kenny, and to Eric's frustration- though he defends her honor, the fact that she was LITERALLY on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine stands as evidence against him. Never mind the "German Sheizer Videos".

-Later episodes give her a bit of depth- she's shown as a very lonely woman whose only major relationship is with her son. When she grows too horrified at Eric's behavior, she hires Cesar Milan to "train" him, as he repeatedly "nips" at Cartman's neck and uses water bottles to alter his behavioral problems. It works, but when Mrs. Cartman, who's fallen for Cesar, sees him leave her for his next assignment... she simply reverts back to type, having no one else to lean on. But her backbone has been somewhat maintained- she refuses to buy Eric expensive electronics for no reason, punishes him for abusing the other boys, and angrily drives him back from Best Buy after he makes a scene (declaring her unwillingness to buy him an iPad to be "fucking" him). She also grounds him for a few days after he attempts to exterminate the Jews.

-Hilariously, the biggest whore in South Park is named for the ex-fiancee of Trey Parker, who had cheated on him several times. Now THAT is how you get back at somebody!
Jabroniville
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Scott Tenorman

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

SCOTT TENORMAN
Role:
Prankster
PL 0 (10), PL 1 (10) Defenses
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Deception 5 (+6)
Expertise (Pop Culture) 2 (+2)
Insight 1 (+3)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +2

Complications: 
Enemy (Eric Cartman)- Scott bullied and pranked Cartman pretty relentlessly, including fooling Cartman into buying Scott's pubic hair. This ended badly for Scott.
Responsibility (Orphan)- Scott has not been the same since he was fooled into eating chili made from his own dead parents.

Total: Abilities: 6 / Skills: 8--4 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 0 (10)

-A smart-mouthed kid who easily manipulates Cartman on several occasions, Scott nonetheless fails to take into account the depths of Cartman's hatred, and the lengths he'll go to get even. Scott hears of a pony trained to bite wieners off, and schemes to get his parents to confront things instead- this ends up getting them killed by a nervous, trigger-happy rancher. Cartman absconds with their corpses, cuts up portions of them, and places them into chili for the Chili Cook-Off. When Scott learns of his parents' demise, and the fact that he's just consumed portions of their dead bodies, he is immediately confronted with his favorite band, Radiohead. Seeing him crying, they declare that Scott is a "crybaby" and "DEFINITELY uncool!". Scott can only weep openly while a gleeful Cartman literally licks the tears of unfathomable sadness off of his face, declaring them delicious.

-A later episode features Scott leading a new Ginger Separatist Movement, taunting Cartman over the identity of his own father- it turns out that Jack Tenorman, Scott's own father, impregnated Liane Cartman all those years ago at the Drunken Barn Dance. Since he was a Denver Bronco, and "the Broncos were having a really good season" that year, the town covered it up. Cartman is crushed- not because he'd murdered his own father and not known it, but because he was now "half-Ginger". Scott escapes on a jetpack, with Cartman swearing revenge.
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Arkrite
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Terrance & Phillip! Mr. Hankey! Mr. Mackey! Cartman!)

Post by Arkrite »

The thing I like about Cartman's character is that A) They let him be a reprehensible person which allows them to go places some (read:most) shows certainly wouldn't and B) They don't glorify him for it.

Just because I don't really like him doesn't mean it isn't interesting to see the perspective these terrible characters can take. Because you can learn things, even if it's only why people have certain views you don't agree with, or possible results of these mindsets.
Of course these days with everybody censoring anything that they don't like it's getting harder to even discuss some subjects, and I imagine a show like South Park might have a real hard time coming out as a new show right now.

I've also found that many shows seem to glorify rather reprehensible behavior or they just seem to skate on by without suffering the repercussions for their actions.
Don't get me wrong, I like seeing jerk characters putting reprehensible people in their place, but it seems like more and more are just jerks who are jerks to everybody including people who are pretty nice...

So it's nice to see life dump on Cartman. Guy deserves it. :lol:
Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (Terrance & Phillip! Mr. Hankey! Mr. Mackey! Cartman!)

Post by Jabroniville »

Arkrite wrote: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:05 am The thing I like about Cartman's character is that A) They let him be a reprehensible person which allows them to go places some (read:most) shows certainly wouldn't and B) They don't glorify him for it.

Just because I don't really like him doesn't mean it isn't interesting to see the perspective these terrible characters can take. Because you can learn things, even if it's only why people have certain views you don't agree with, or possible results of these mindsets.
Of course these days with everybody censoring anything that they don't like it's getting harder to even discuss some subjects, and I imagine a show like South Park might have a real hard time coming out as a new show right now.

I've also found that many shows seem to glorify rather reprehensible behavior or they just seem to skate on by without suffering the repercussions for their actions.
Don't get me wrong, I like seeing jerk characters putting reprehensible people in their place, but it seems like more and more are just jerks who are jerks to everybody including people who are pretty nice...

So it's nice to see life dump on Cartman. Guy deserves it. :lol:
As someone who HATES the "huge jerkass who never gets his comeuppance" genre, and how writers just live vicariously through the vile actions of Rick, Roger the alien, and others, this is my favorite aspect of Cartman.
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Ares
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Terrance & Phillip! Mr. Hankey! Mr. Mackey! Cartman!)

Post by Ares »

Jabroniville wrote: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:17 am
Arkrite wrote: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:05 am The thing I like about Cartman's character is that A) They let him be a reprehensible person which allows them to go places some (read:most) shows certainly wouldn't and B) They don't glorify him for it.

Just because I don't really like him doesn't mean it isn't interesting to see the perspective these terrible characters can take. Because you can learn things, even if it's only why people have certain views you don't agree with, or possible results of these mindsets.
Of course these days with everybody censoring anything that they don't like it's getting harder to even discuss some subjects, and I imagine a show like South Park might have a real hard time coming out as a new show right now.

I've also found that many shows seem to glorify rather reprehensible behavior or they just seem to skate on by without suffering the repercussions for their actions.
Don't get me wrong, I like seeing jerk characters putting reprehensible people in their place, but it seems like more and more are just jerks who are jerks to everybody including people who are pretty nice...

So it's nice to see life dump on Cartman. Guy deserves it. :lol:
As someone who HATES the "huge jerkass who never gets his comeuppance" genre, and how writers just live vicariously through the vile actions of Rick, Roger the alien, and others, this is my favorite aspect of Cartman.
Thirded. I absolutely cannot stand series where the main characters are just bad people who live a life being bad people with little to no consequences. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I actually like the protagonists of a series to actually be decent people. Glorifying other people's bad behavior, even through humor, just doesn't sit right with me.

I can also appreciate how the creators didn't soften Cartman up when it became clear how popular he was. A lot of shows, at least back then, would have dialed back the character's worst traits in order to broaden his appeal. Not here. Instead they realized those bad traits and him getting his comeuppance was what made the character work and zeroed in on them.

I also like that they make it clear that most of Cartman's worst attributes are basically due to bad parenting. It doesn't excuse his bad behavior by any stretch, but it does exacerbate all of his worst traits. He's going to grow up into one of those people who thinks they can get away with anything because they've rarely had to deal with any serious consequences. Again, they don't use this as some kind of excuse, the way House would often try to come up with reasons for him being a jackass, they just show the results of bad parenting: it's likely your kids worst aspects will come to the forefront, and any good qualities will be buried under them.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
- Captain Marvel SHAZAM! : Power of Hope (2000)

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Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Mel Gibson

Post by Jabroniville »

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MEL GIBSON
Role:
Self-Flagellating Whack-Job
PL 4 (58)
STRENGTH
2 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 3
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Athletics 4 (+6)
Deception 4 (+7)
Expertise (Filmmaker) 9 (+11)
Expertise (Acting) 6 (+9)
Intimidation 3 (+6)
Perception 2 (+4)

Advantages:
Equipment 2 (Gun +4)

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Gun +2 (+4 Ranged Damage, DC 19)
Initiative +3

Defenses:
Dodge +3 (DC 13), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +2, Fortitude +2, Will +2

Complications: 
Addiction (Suffering)- Mel is obsessed with suffering. He pinches his own nipples and wrote an entire movie as a giant snuff film, and demands that everybody torture him.
Responsibility (Loves The Passion of the Christ)- Mel is so obsessed with the quality of his own film that he attempts to murder Stan & Kenny for not liking it.
Disabled (Freaking Daffy)- Mel leaps about, hooting and hollering, and projectile defecates on someone.
Hatred (The English)- Gibson's written at least two movies painting the English as 100% evil monsters, Braveheart and The Patriot.
Hatred (Jews)- Probably. His father is a Holocaust denier, and a drunken Gibson has asserted hatred over the Jews. Depends on how much causation and "alcohol-as-truth-serum" you buy into.

Total: Abilities: 40 / Skills: 28--14 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 2 (58)

-It's hilarious that this episode and appearance took place BEFORE his infamous meltdown, in which a drunken Mel Gibson called a female cop "sugar-tits" and then explained how "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world!". The child of an Australian Anti-Semite, Holocaust Denier, and Anti-Catholic (Hutton Gibson), Mel also wrote and directed the then-popular The Passion of the Christ, a bloody, gory film that was also criticized for its depictions of Jews. In the series, Stan & Kenny are horrified by the "snuff film", and go to get their money back (from Gibson himself), while Kyle is guilt-ridden over how his people caused Jesus to die. He goes in front of his synagogue to ask them to APOLOGIZE for killing Jesus, which caused a great scene where a succession of increasingly-hook-nosed, nasally-voiced people say things like "Stereotyping Jews is TYYYYEERRRRRIBLE!"). Cartman, meanwhile, uses the film (and his fandom of Gibson- "If Mel Gibson isn't here- if he was, I would be licking his balls at this very moment") to jumpstart his Final Solution, getting a group of people to recreate the Nazi Party, now called "The Mel Gibson Fan Club".

-Gibson himself turns out to be completely insane, leaping about in his underpants and trying to shoot Stan & Kenny while demanding that everybody he meet tortures him. Stan carefully explains that his disgusting movie is a "snuff film", then goes into a long diatribe about how focusing on the suffering and death of Jesus ignores the more IMPORTANT aspects of the story, such as how he lived, and the lessons he taught. Gibson, meanwhile, projectile-defecates on Cartman. "The Mel Gibson Defense" is later used by a teacher to excuse a sexual relationship with a student- a play on Gibson's real-life attempts at passing off racist remarks.

-He reappears later in Imaginationland, actually giving a good plan to the American government, in their attempts to go to war in our imaginations- the General he's speaking to emphasizes that "he may be crazy, but that son of a bitch really knows good story structure!", a reference to Gibson's obvious talent as a filmmaker, which helps explain his continued success in the famously-Jewish Hollywood, even though he's extraordinarily likely to be an Anti-Semite and a total racist (never mind that he once left his girlfriend a profanity-laced phone message that she will get "raped by a pack of n***ers" for dressing too sexy). Gibson may thus be one of the few celebrities who is actually LESS evil in his South Park version.
Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (Terrance & Phillip! Mr. Hankey! Mr. Mackey! Cartman!)

Post by Jabroniville »

I gotta say, Cartman licking the tears of unfathomable sadness off of Scott Tenorman's face never gets old. And yeah, the show is usually good in having him victimize mostly terrible people. And Butters. But of course, that's kind of the thing with Butters in general.

The name of the doll is indeed Polly Prissypants- I blame Cartman's poor enunciation.

I went back and forth on Cartman's Power Level, but it occurs to me that somebody with that many Complications is likely going to have a mountain of Hero Points to spend at any given moment. GMs will have to watch this guy like a HAWK.

We're getting into the "middle era" of South Park builds, now- I wanted to split up the major characters (that's why we haven't seen Butters, Kenny, Randy or Mr. Garrison yet), and mostly put the later big-name characters in the final sets (why the crippled kids are waiting so long). We've seen a handful of newer characters in "The City Wok Guy"
Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Joozians

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

THE JOOZIANS
Role:
Alien Ethnicities

-Aliens so stereotypical they'd make Watto go "Holy shit, you guys, scale it back a bit, why not?", the Joozians are big-nosed, nasal-voiced beings said to control the entire entertainment industry. The boys discover that their entire planet is actually a REALITY SHOW, comprised of the creatures of every planet in the solar system ("There's a planet of DEER, a planet of CHINESE PEOPLE, etc.!"), thrown together just to see what kind of chaos can ensue. The boys discover the secret and reveal it to the world, which directly causes the Joozians to cancel Earth, dooming the planet. The boys attempt to find these aliens and convince them otherwise, but the uninterested pair they meet don't capitulate. It's only later, when they do a ton of drugs and get a hooker, that the boys get an advantage: they take a photograph of the two sucking each other's jagons, and use it as blackmail- Earth is uncancelled, with everyone having their memory wiped of what happens. The Joozians force the boys to PROMISE to make Earth as violent and horrible as ever, and Stan only chuckles and knowingly says "Oh, I THINK we can manage that!"

-Just a wonderfully cynical, dark satire of our stupid world, and the entertainment industry as a whole. Made better by playing up the stereotypes of Hollywood (Kyle even enjoys the food of the Joozians, and is told that he might have some of their DNA in him- "TELL me about it!" is Cartman's annoyed reply) and being as Un-PC as humanly possible with these big-nosed, TV-controlling aliens.
Jabroniville
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Hippies

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

HIPPIES
Role:
Smug Plague

-Cartman's hatred of hippies is well-known in South Park, but it took a full-length episode to prove that he was CORRECT in his assessment of them. Cartman becomes an exterminator of sorts- he discovers a drum circle in an old lady's attic, and brings up the various stages of hippies. First, the "College Know-It-All" hippies arrive ("I've just taken my first year at college, kids... it really OPENED MY EYES"), assured that they now know all the ways of the world from their classes. Hippies soon come in droves, creating an impromptu music festival as the throngs smoke weed, laze about, and generally just get in the way. "MORE TUNES!" they cry, happily dancing away and doing nothing else. Mayor McDaniels at first INVITES the people in, hoping they'd be good for the economy- "HIPPIES DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!" Cartman screams. And sure enough, he's proven right- he has to play some Heavy Metal music- anathema to hippies- to save the town.

-This incredibly-subtle episode was GREAT- painting hippies and college kids as know-it-alls, giggling airheads and lazy do-nothings. Their idea for a "perfect world" is just to sit around aimlessly, and the show makes it clear that they have no real ideas on how to actually IMPROVE anything, and have done nothing to meaningfully change the world. Randy Marsh claims that today's hippies are useless, unlike the hippies of HIS day, who actually stood for something... but ultimately realizes that hippies were just as useless and stupid back then, too. Jon Schwartzwlder of The Simpsons holds them in similar disdain, though that show made more of an attempt to be sympathetic.
Thorpocalypse
Posts: 3239
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:52 pm

Re: Hippies

Post by Thorpocalypse »

Jabroniville wrote: Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:47 pm Image

HIPPIES
Role:
Smug Plague
That was one of my all-time favorite episodes. I was totally on Cartman's side in this one.
Me fail English? That's unpossible. - Ralph Wiggum
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M4C8
Posts: 759
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2016 10:17 pm
Location: South-East England

Re: Hippies

Post by M4C8 »

Jabroniville wrote: Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:47 pm Image

HIPPIES
Role:
Smug Plague

-Cartman's hatred of hippies is well-known in South Park, but it took a full-length episode to prove that he was CORRECT in his assessment of them. Cartman becomes an exterminator of sorts- he discovers a drum circle in an old lady's attic, and brings up the various stages of hippies. First, the "College Know-It-All" hippies arrive ("I've just taken my first year at college, kids... it really OPENED MY EYES"), assured that they now know all the ways of the world from their classes. Hippies soon come in droves, creating an impromptu music festival as the throngs smoke weed, laze about, and generally just get in the way. "MORE TUNES!" they cry, happily dancing away and doing nothing else. Mayor McDaniels at first INVITES the people in, hoping they'd be good for the economy- "HIPPIES DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!" Cartman screams. And sure enough, he's proven right- he has to play some Heavy Metal music- anathema to hippies- to save the town.

-This incredibly-subtle episode was GREAT- painting hippies and college kids as know-it-alls, giggling airheads and lazy do-nothings. Their idea for a "perfect world" is just to sit around aimlessly, and the show makes it clear that they have no real ideas on how to actually IMPROVE anything, and have done nothing to meaningfully change the world. Randy Marsh claims that today's hippies are useless, unlike the hippies of HIS day, who actually stood for something... but ultimately realizes that hippies were just as useless and stupid back then, too. Jon Schwartzwlder of The Simpsons holds them in similar disdain, though that show made more of an attempt to be sympathetic.
That's actually really interesting, it reminds me of the 'outrage' from the left here in Britain concerning the Brexit decision, while I didn't vote and probably wouldn't have voted for Brexit I certainly understand why some people did. The immediate demonisation of the yes voters by the liberal left as stupid old racists was unbelievable, they genuinely didn't get that those who have actually been in the workforce, seen the changes both positive and negative to the country and formed their own opinions based on real life experience might have a more informed and therefore different viewpoint to those who have been in full time education and who's views are based on what they've read or have been told.
'A shared universe, like any fictional construct, hinges on suspension of disbelief. When continuity is tossed away, it tatters the construct. Undermines it'
BriarThrone
Posts: 460
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2016 7:33 am

Re: Hippies

Post by BriarThrone »

Thorpocalypse wrote: Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:32 pm
Jabroniville wrote: Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:47 pm Image

HIPPIES
Role:
Smug Plague
That was one of my all-time favorite episodes. I was totally on Cartman's side in this one.
Mine too. I actually tried to warn a friend about the dangers of hippies, using Cartman's arguments. Then he ended up losing his place because his hippie roommate stole the rent money to buy drugs from an undercover cop... "I told you so" can involve very complex feelings!
Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (Terrance & Phillip! Mr. Hankey! Mr. Mackey! Cartman!)

Post by Jabroniville »

I just remember living near the University, being constantly subjected to a balcony full of guys whose completely stupid "philosophical" conversations were made up almost entirely of coughing. Nobody who smokes weed has ever sounded intelligent.
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