Jab’s Builds! (Beaker! Sam Eagle! Miss Piggy! The Swedish Chef!)

Where in all of your character write ups will go.
Jabroniville
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Lemmiwinks

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

LEMMIWINKS
Role:
Intrepid Adventurer
PL 2 (29)
STRENGTH
-5 STAMINA -4 AGILITY -2
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE -4 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE -3

Skills:
Athletics 10 (+5)
Close Combat (Bite) 2 (+4)
Expertise (Survival) 4 (+5)
Perception 4 (+5)

Advantages:
Close Attack 5

Powers:
"Animal Senses" Senses 3 (Acute & Extended Scent, Low-Light Vision) [3]
"Natural Weapons- Teeth" Strength-Damage +2 [2]

"Fun Size" Shrinking 12 (Feats: Innate) (Extras: Permanent +0) -- (6 inches) [25]
(-3 Strength, +6 Defenses, +12 Stealth, -6 Intimidation, -1 Speed)

Offense:
Unarmed +7 (-5 Damage, DC 5)
Bite +9 (-5 Damage, DC 5)
Initiative -2

Defenses:
Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +8 (DC 18), Toughness -4, Fortitude +0, Will +0

Complications: 
Disabled (Animal)- Gerbils cannot speak to humans, nor use their paws to easily manipulate objects.
Enemy (Wikileaks)
Weakness (Small Size)- At their natural size, Gerbils are vulnerable to large creatures- even without good accuracy. Anything of Size Rank -2 or more (human size and up) using a melee attack on a gerbil effectively strike with Burst Area Damage at their strength rank naturally.

Total: Abilities: -22 / Skills: 20--10 / Advantages: 5 / Powers: 30 / Defenses: 6 (29)

-Lemmiwinks was the class gerbil at South Park Elementary, but was inserted into Mr. Slave's ass by Mr. Garrison during his attempt to get fired from teaching for being gay. That would have been the end for the gerbil, as clawing at Mr. Slave's sphincter from behind was for naught, but he was soon visited by the ghosts of three other creatures who'd died within Mr. Slave's ass, and they sent him on an adventure, complete with "Medieval"-sounding music. He escapes through Mr. Slave's mouth, being declared the "Gerbil King". He reappears later as a child's pet, and is forced to kill his elder brother Wikileaks, who is spreading degrading stories about the other kids at South Park. Lemmiwinks is despondent.
MacynSnow
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by MacynSnow »

ALL HAIL TO THE GERBIL KING!!!! *Rule Britannia plays as all other superpets bow* :lol:
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by MacynSnow »

Jabroniville wrote: Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:06 pm
MacynSnow wrote: Tue Mar 20, 2018 8:54 pm I loved the fact that Cartman warns you 'bout them in the beginning of Stick Of Truth,then you have to fight a bunch of 'em not 10 minutes later.... :lol:

On a completely unrelated note,i have a request build for jab(or anyone else for that matter).I would like to see someone to stat up either the characters from the Gene Wilder movie Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory or the major cast of The Muppet Show.....please :)
LOL, I was actually thinking about statting up the Muppets some day! Definitely not soon, though- I only have the energy for one large "TV-themed" set every few months, but you'll definitely see them at some point. I LOVE The Muppet Show.

I don't actually think I've seen all of either Chocolate Factory movie, though. And it's been so long since I saw parts of the first one that I don't even remember what happens.
For all that's holy jab,don't watch the Depp version if you value your eyes.......

I,too,am a major fan of the Mynah Mynah's(my favorite song from season 1 was Rowlf's version of Coddleston Pie) ;)
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HalloweenJack
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by HalloweenJack »

loved the two Lemmywinks episodes and how they hearkened back to the old Hobbit animated movies
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Ken
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by Ken »

That's his problem. He missed that Ego wanted to be inside her box.

And, damn, Sarandon may annoy me as a person, but she's still damned easy on the eyes.
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Ken
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by Ken »

Spectrum wrote: Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:57 am Michael Jackson- only in America, can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman.
TRUTH!!!

Actually, I think MJ was transspecies.
My Amazing Woman: a super-hero romantic comedy podcast.

When the most powerful super hero on Earth marries an ordinary man, hilarity ensues.
Jabroniville
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Chief Runs-With-Premise

Post by Jabroniville »

ImageImage

CHIEF RUNS-WITH-PREMISE
Role:
Evil, Greed Stinking Indian!!! Sorry, sorry, Native American.
PL 1 (33), PL 3 (33) Defenses
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 3 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Deception 4 (+7)
Expertise (Business) 8 (+11)
Perception 3 (+6)
Persuasion 3 (+6)

Advantages:
Benefit 3 (Wealth)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +4

Complications: 
Motivation (Greed)- This Indian Chief's greed causes him to steal the land from the hard-working white men. Cruelly refusing their right to stay on their own land, he buys it up and plans to use it for his own need.
Relationship (Premise-Running-Thin)- The Chief's own son, Premise-Running-Thin, is the most important person in the world to him.

Total: Abilities: 20 / Skills: 18--9 / Advantages: 3 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 1 (33)

-God this episode was amazing. The boys and their parents go to an Indian Casino, and through a series of circumstances, they lose the entire town of South Park to the greedy Indian Chief, who plans on tearing it down and replacing it with a highway to his casino. When attempts to win back some money fail (hilariously, they bet all their money on a single number, HIT IT AND CAN BUY BACK THEIR LAND, they decide to "keep it rolling" and lose everything on their next roll- Stan's disgust with his father is perfect), they're about to lose the town. The demolition vehicles hit a roadblock, however, when the entire friggin' town stroll up to them from afar, singing Love Is A Battlefield in perfect tandem (complete with the same dance from the music video), and refuse to move. 

-And so Chief Runs-With-Premise decides that the only way to get the primite white man off his land is to infect them with contagious diseases- he conspires to afflict them with SARS. The then-current menace (which left 2% of its victims dead) was big in the news at the time, you see. And so he has some unclad Chinese men brought into his office, and forcefully RUBS THEM INTO SOME BLANKETS, which he then offers to the white folks as a "gift". Soon, the white people have grown ill and weak- when Stan begs his father to recover, Randy can only cough out "Soon... there will be only ninety-eight percent of us left!" "NO, DAD, NO!" "The... the spirit of middle-class white people is strong with you, Stanley...". Soon, Randy has Stan seek out a wise elder (a guy in a trailer), who gives Stan a "spirit vision" for the cure to SARS. And when the Chief's son, Premise-Running-Thin, is infected as well, the townsfolk blackmail him into giving their land back. The red man's greed is thus stopped, for now.

-For some reason, my favorite line in the whole thing is when Stan gives his dad some beer, and Randy, mimicking the stereotypical speech patterns of Native Americans in films, mutters "It feels cool on my tongue".
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Ares
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by Ares »

I just . . . . did they really . . . WOW. I can't believe any show got away with that.
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Jabroniville
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Butters

Post by Jabroniville »

ImageImage

BUTTERS (Leopold Stotch, aka Professor Chaos)
Role:
The Wimpy Kid, The Butt-Monkey
PL 1 (17), PL 2 (17) Defenses
STRENGTH
-2 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS -2 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Dancing) 6 (+6)
Expertise (Singing) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Pimp) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Writing) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Art) 6 (+6)
Expertise (Drums) 4 (+4)
Investigation 3 (+1)
Persuasion 2 (+2)
Stealth 1 (+1)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (-2 Damage, DC 13)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +4

Complications: 
Relationship (Parents)- Butters is very submissive to his parents, always calling his father "sir". In turn, both of them alternately abuse or neglect him. He is frequently grounded for offenses both imagined and serious, like making a "funny face" at his father (his normal face), or accidentally selling his own semen as a sports drink.
Relationship (Grandmother)- Butters is violently and verbally assaulted by his grandmother, who throws homophobic slurs at him, stabs him with a fork, and engages in psychological trauma on a frequent basis. Butters finally gets over the bullying when he realizes that she is empty inside, and that he will no doubt outlive her, and "continue to live" his life as if she'd never existed.
Relationship (The Other Kids)- Butters is usually maligned by the other boys, primarily Cartman, who frequently manipulates and tricks Butters. Butters is so eager to have friends that he will still go along with them on their schemes.
Accident (Dancing)- Butters' attempts at dancing often prove disastrous, and have resulted in mass casualties twice. He still has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the first time.
Responsibility ("Dude, You Don't Shoot a Guy in the DICK")- Butters cannot aim effectively with firearms- all of his shots strike the genitals of men.
Vulnerable (Almonds)- A single almond M&M can send Butters to the hospital.
Disabled (Sphincter Problem)- Butters occasionally wears a diaper to school, owing to problems crapping his pants. He also once wet himself.
Enemy (Coon & Friends)- Butters, in his secret identity as Professor Chaos, opposes The Coon & Friends, and creates "fake news" Facebook posts about them pooping in each other's mouths, thus harming the potential for a Netflix franchise (even though Netflix will simply place orders for full seasons of a show from an over-the-phone interview).
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: -8 / Skills: 34--17 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 8 (17)

-Butters, more than any character, came out of nowhere to become a huge part of the show. He was initially just a background kid, and gained a speaking role here and there, typically as "another loser kid" alongside Pip. However, Season Five saw him suddenly upgraded to a major character, as his trusting, good-natured personality made him into a perfect patsy for the other boys, and fans took to himl quickly- very soon, Butters was our #4 Main Character, getting several episodes to himself. His cheerful nature contrasted the dark things that happened to him (his mother attempted to kill him after Butters took pictures of his father having sex with several men in a gay bathouse). He was picked on relentlessly by the others (Cartman mimicked Butters and insulted his parents just so he could watch Butters getting a disciplinary beating), and finally expelled from the group for being "too lame".

-This wasn't the end of the character, however- Butters would rename himself "Professor Chaos" and attempt to get revenge on the boys. Sadly, all of his schemes were pointed out by his ally General Disarray as being things that had already happened on The Simpsons. The boys would still let him hang out with him, and he would have numerous other adventures, like when Cartman tried to convince him that civilization had ended, or when he was adopted by Paris Hilton as her new pet.

-A huge part of the appeal of Butters is just how utterly naiive he is. He will fall for ANYTHING, and can be convinced by the other boys to take on any horrible scheme, such as faking his death and coming to school as "Marjorine", in an attempt to learn the true nature of the high technology the girls have mastered that lets them see the future from a piece of paper. It's extra-fun watching him fawn over his "Girlfriend", not realizing that she's a waitress- he's too young to realize that women will PRETEND to like him so they can get money from him. It's a combination of cringey and hilarious to watch him be so clueless about it, until you see him bawling his little eyes out in the rain (while Air Supply's All Out Of Love plays in the background, of course), then confessing to Stan that his heartbreak, while sad, also proves to him how great life is, because the only way something can make him this sad is if he was really happy beforehand- "So I guess you could say this is a kind of BEAUTIFUL sadness, you know?". The best part is that legitimately helped my friend get over his first girlfriend dumping him, because he realized that Butters was right.

-His "aw shucks" persona mixes with a lot of the show's best lines and catchphrases (like his song "Loo-loo-loo, I got some apples; loo-loo-loo, ya got some too!", or when he was egged on by the boys to say "you can go-ahhhhh, suck my FAT one, dad!" to his own father), and Matt & Trey consider him their "#3 Favorite Character". Of course, they constantly torture him, like when he got a shuriken thrown into his eye (and nearly put to sleep by the vets who mistook him for a dog), or suggested he "take one for the team" when the members of NAMBLA meant to perform sexual intercourse upon all the boys.

-Butters is extremely foolish and easily-led, but has numerous Skills all the same- he's an adequate drummer (performing in Cartman's Christian Rock group), tap-dancer (albeit with tragic results), artist (creating the construction paper cut-outs used for an Animated Short the boys made), pimp (his "Kissing" girls), and even writer (The Poop That Took a Pee was a big success).
Last edited by Jabroniville on Wed Mar 21, 2018 6:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
Jabroniville
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by Jabroniville »

Ken wrote: Wed Mar 21, 2018 1:30 am That's his problem. He missed that Ego wanted to be inside her box.

And, damn, Sarandon may annoy me as a person, but she's still damned easy on the eyes.
I still remember when BatgirlIII was saying something about Godwinn's Law, and quoted a Conservative dude who says something like "being called a Nazi isn't SO bad; after all, nobody has fantasies about being tied to a bed and ravished by a liberal". I was like "AHEM" and posted a pic of Sarandon :).
Jabroniville
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by Jabroniville »

Ares wrote: Wed Mar 21, 2018 2:03 am I just . . . . did they really . . . WOW. I can't believe any show got away with that.
Like I said- ANY idiot can just be offensive. It takes EFFORT to make an art out of being offensive. Anyone could be all "LOL- we took their land and stuck them on reserves, and plied them with whiskey! Let's laugh at them while they're down!", but South Park is like "... NAH. Too easy. Let's instead just reverse the roles each race played, then throw in some Chinese-themed race jokes at the same time.

And then of course ever Indian... sorry, Native American... laughs all "HAW-haw-haw-haw!! HAW-haw-haw-haw!!" in the manner of the old "HI-how-are-ya?" cadence :).
Jabroniville
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by Jabroniville »

Spectrum wrote: Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:57 am Michael Jackson- only in America, can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman.
And in Thailand, for half the price!
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Cartman! Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie!)

Post by DominusExMachina »

Jabroniville wrote: Wed Mar 21, 2018 6:40 am
Spectrum wrote: Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:57 amMichael Jackson- only in America, can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman.
And in Thailand, for half the price!
(in James Hong-esque Chinese voice) That was BAD joke - YOU GO NOW!
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Ares
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie! Butters!)

Post by Ares »

Though Butters gets something of the ultimate bone thrown his way by letting him upstage Kenny during the Cthulhu showdown. Because if there's one constant in the South Park setting, it's that the universe hates Kenny even more than Butters.

Speaking of which, wasn't it Butters who helped snap Stan out of his Goth phase?
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
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Jabroniville
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Mecha-Streisand! Kenny! Token! Towelie! Butters!)

Post by Jabroniville »

Ares wrote: Wed Mar 21, 2018 7:24 am Though Butters gets something of the ultimate bone thrown his way by letting him upstage Kenny during the Cthulhu showdown. Because if there's one constant in the South Park setting, it's that the universe hates Kenny even more than Butters.

Speaking of which, wasn't it Butters who helped snap Stan out of his Goth phase?
Yeah, the "Beautiful Sadness" comment above was what did it. Stan points out that he preferred ENJOYING life to hating it.
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