Jab’s Builds! (Beaker! Sam Eagle! Miss Piggy! The Swedish Chef!)

Where in all of your character write ups will go.
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HalloweenJack
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Mickey Mouse! Jesus! Muhammed! Scientology! Satan!)

Post by HalloweenJack »

Jabroniville wrote: Sat Mar 24, 2018 12:57 am Yup- worst job ever. Tons of work, zero pay, and on a troll-happy site, so it was non-stop heckling. "Asshole Shows" like It's Always Sunny and Rick & Morty feed and encourage that behavior, and contribute to making the world a worse, meaner, uglier place. I absolutely hate them.
I like them and I don't think I'm that bad


But yeah, some people there took it to a whole new level
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L-Space
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Mickey Mouse! Jesus! Muhammed! Scientology! Satan!)

Post by L-Space »

HalloweenJack wrote: Sat Mar 24, 2018 1:40 am
Jabroniville wrote: Sat Mar 24, 2018 12:57 am Yup- worst job ever. Tons of work, zero pay, and on a troll-happy site, so it was non-stop heckling. "Asshole Shows" like It's Always Sunny and Rick & Morty feed and encourage that behavior, and contribute to making the world a worse, meaner, uglier place. I absolutely hate them.
I like them and I don't think I'm that bad


But yeah, some people there took it to a whole new level
Same here (hopefully).

I'm pretty sure those trolls would still be assholes even if they hadn't seen It's Always and Rick and Morty.
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HalloweenJack
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Mickey Mouse! Jesus! Muhammed! Scientology! Satan!)

Post by HalloweenJack »

yeah, alot of the time it's just people who don't know how to interact with people in real life or just get their jollies in being a Gerald online.

There's ribbing in good fun, but then there's levels of it that's just stupid. like 70 pages of the Bride vs Michael Myers stupid.
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"Yaayyyyyy!!! Blood Orgy!"

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

"But gee wiz, Stan, if you tried to stop us, we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on you."
-Beary the Bear


THE WOODLAND CRITTERS
Role:
Satanic Monsters
PL 6 (120)
STRENGTH
3 STAMINA 4 AGILITY 3
FIGHTING 8 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Deception 9 (+12)
Expertise (Survival) 5 (+5)
Expertise (Religion) 10 (+10)
Perception 4 (+6)
Persuasion 2 (+5)
Stealth 2 (+5)

Advantages:
Close Attack, Improved Critical (Unarmed)

Powers:
"Evil Satanic Powers"
Fire Blast 8 (Feats: Accurate 2) [18]
Summon Demon 4 (Extras: Multiple Minions +4) [28]

Offense:
Unarmed +9 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Initiative +3

Defenses:
Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +8 (DC 18), Toughness +4, Fortitude +5, Will +4

Complications: 
Motivation (Creating Hell On Earth)

Total: Abilities: 50 / Skills: 32--16 / Advantages: 2 / Powers: 46 / Defenses: 6 (120)

-These adorable Critters sprang from the messed-up mind of one Eric Cartman. Reading an original story for the class, Cartman came up with some Christmas Critters- Beary the Bear, Skunky the Skunk, Porcupiney the Porcupine, Woodpeckery the Woodpecker, Foxy the Fox, Mousey the Mouse, Beavery the Beaver, Deery the Deer, Rabbitty the Rabbit, Squirrely the Squirrel, Racoony the Racoon and Chickadee-y the Chickadee that fooled Stan into killing a Mountain Lion that was trying to kill them. Stan is then shocked to find the Mountain Lion's adorable, wide-eyed cubs slowly move out of hiding, mourning the deaths of their mother. And it turns out that one of the Critters, Porcupiny, was giving birth to the Antichrist. When Stan tries to stop them, Beary declares "we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on you!", causing their eyes to glow red. Then they sacrifice Rabbitty (who is happy to be of service) and declare "Blood Orgy!" and begin having sex with each other over Rabbitty's entrails.

-Cartman writes Santa Claus as demolishing the Critters with a shotgun, but Kyle steps in to accept the Anti-Christ, so he can make things better for the Jews. However, Stan has taught the cubs (against his will- the narrator forced him to) how to perform abortions, and they pull the Anti-Christ from Kyle's ass, and Santa smashes it with a sledgehammer. Cartman declares this a happy ending "... except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later", and cuts to Kyle slowly closing his eyes in a hospital bed, while Kyle shouts "Goddammit, Cartman!" as the credits fade in.

-The Critters made such an impact that Matt & Trey would re-use them for the Imaginationland trilogy, as they join the army of villains, and engage in the torture of Strawberry Shortcake. Jason Voorhees fears the messed-up mind who created THESE things, and poor Kurt Russell and his marines ("because you were in a movie that was kind of like this") meet an even worse fate- as they stalk the world of Imagination, they come across the adorable Critters... and before Stan's warning can get through, Russel screams into the radio "THEY'RE RAPING MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" The horrified government agents can only listen in while he adds "They're raping ALL OF US!!! THEY'RE RAPING ALL OF US AND IT HURTSSSSSSSS!!!", and they all die. They also gang-rape Popeye before the episode's end, but are eventually trapped back in Evil Imaginationland.

-Their appearances were AMAZING. The contrast of their cute, wide-eyed appearance and adorably-friendly dialogue ("Don't be down, y'all") with their Satanic natures just makes both episodes featuring them.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sat Mar 24, 2018 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Ares
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Re: George Lucas

Post by Ares »

Jabroniville wrote: Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:00 pm "ALIENS DON'T BELONG IN AN INDIANA JONES MOVIE?!?" screams Stan, after dragging a screaming Kyle out of the theatre ("WHY ARE THEY DOING THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!?!?!?").
I've got to admit, of the problems I had with LotCS, the presence of aliens wasn't one of them.

The Indiana Jones movies were inspired by the popular cinema of the time period of the films. In the late 1930's and early 1940's, it was Pulp Adventure stories and Film Serials that featured the kind of adventure stories we saw. In the 1950's, the period Crystal Skull took place in, sci-fi had taken over the scene. I see Indiana Jones and something like, say, Jonny Quest as being basically the same series, but Indy is mostly supernatural with some sci-fi, while Jonny is mostly sci-fi with some supernatural.

Regardless, I don't think the presence of the supernatural automatically means no aliens, and vice versa. So aliens weren't the issue.

Everything about those aliens and the movie in general? THAT was just stupid. "These aliens . . . were archeologists. Their treasure . . . WAS KNOWLEDGE!" is the equivalent of saying "The secret ingredient . . . WAS LOVE!" Or how a bunch of alien corpses Voltron'ed together into a single living alien. Or how these advanced aliens can't seem to land their ships without crashing them.

To say nothing of the refrigerator surviving an atomic explosion, and landing right next to some prairie dogs. Though that did inspire a new band name for me: Nuke Proof Prairie Dogs.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
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Scots Dragon
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Re: George Lucas

Post by Scots Dragon »

Ares wrote: Sat Mar 24, 2018 4:43 am
Jabroniville wrote: Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:00 pm "ALIENS DON'T BELONG IN AN INDIANA JONES MOVIE?!?" screams Stan, after dragging a screaming Kyle out of the theatre ("WHY ARE THEY DOING THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!?!?!?").
I've got to admit, of the problems I had with LotCS, the presence of aliens wasn't one of them.

The Indiana Jones movies were inspired by the popular cinema of the time period of the films. In the late 1930's and early 1940's, it was Pulp Adventure stories and Film Serials that featured the kind of adventure stories we saw. In the 1950's, the period Crystal Skull took place in, sci-fi had taken over the scene. I see Indiana Jones and something like, say, Jonny Quest as being basically the same series, but Indy is mostly supernatural with some sci-fi, while Jonny is mostly sci-fi with some supernatural.

Regardless, I don't think the presence of the supernatural automatically means no aliens, and vice versa. So aliens weren't the issue.

Everything about those aliens and the movie in general? THAT was just stupid. "These aliens . . . were archeologists. Their treasure . . . WAS KNOWLEDGE!" is the equivalent of saying "The secret ingredient . . . WAS LOVE!" Or how a bunch of alien corpses Voltron'ed together into a single living alien. Or how these advanced aliens can't seem to land their ships without crashing them.

To say nothing of the refrigerator surviving an atomic explosion, and landing right next to some prairie dogs. Though that did inspire a new band name for me: Nuke Proof Prairie Dogs.
There's an incredibly common tendency to attribute bad storytelling or poor writing to things which are visibly different about a given work to those works which precede it or are similar to it. I think this is mostly because the things which make bad writing what it is are sometimes hard to identify.
Formerly known as Narsil on the ATT and Ronin Army forums.
Jabroniville
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Sgt. Yates

Post by Jabroniville »

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SGT. YATES
Role:
Stereotypical '80s Cop
PL 4 (34)
STRENGTH
1 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Deception 5 (+7)
Expertise (Police Officer) 2 (+2)
Investigation 3 (+2)
Perception 2 (+1)

Advantages:
Equipment 2 (Gun +4), Ranged Attack 4

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Gun +4 (+4 Ranged Damage, DC 19)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +3 (DC 13), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +2, Fortitude +2, Will +2

Complications:
Motivation (Framing Black Men)- Sgt. Yates, like all police officers, likes to frame black men richer than himself. He vomits and is astonished when "I nearly framed a man... who WASN'T BLACK!", but discovers that it's Michael Jackson and it thus technically still counts. However, he has no interest in putting "another poor black man in jail".
Relationship (Maggie- Wife)
Responsibility (Poor Cop)- Yates does not seem to understand that an undercover prostitute does not actually need to SLEEP with prospective johns.

Total: Abilities: 16 / Skills: 12--6 / Advantages: 6 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 6 (34)

-One of the funnier characters in recent memory is Sgt. Yates, who appears so frequently yet I actually had to look up his name. Surpassing Officer Barbrady as the town's main cop, Yates is essentially drawn straight out of stereotypical 1980s Cop Movies- he's overweight, exhausted and constantly lecturing his underlings about proper police work, but then forgiving them because they get the job done. He's very similar to an earlier character- Lieutenant Dawson- who actually treats the four main boys' "Detective Agency" (where they point their fingers and go "Pshoo! Pshoo!") as real policing, and sends them on REAL CASES, then congratulating them in spite of the real danger they put themselves in by being "reckless". Dawson & Yates had the same voices, but I think they liked Yates's design more.

-Later episodes feature him wanting to give Ike his "Luckiest Boy in America Medal" for sleeping with his teacher (who it turns out is a hot blonde), willingly collaborates with the vigilante Mysterion (who is clearly A CHILD), and acts undercover as a prostitute. And actually having sex with people. LOTS of people. Like, he gangbangs several guys at once, then once they've finished with him... THEN he pulls out his gun and arrests them! And at the end of the episode, he pulls a gun on the pimp he successfully seduced... and MARRIED!

-Yates is only marginally better as a cop than Barbrady. He's at least moderately educated, but is still extremely stupid and naive.
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Randy Marsh

Post by Jabroniville »

ImageImageImageImageImage

"I'M SORRY!!! I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!!!"

RANDY MARSH
Role:
Dopey Dad, Fad-Obsessed Moron
PL 4 (46)
STRENGTH
2 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Athletics 2 (+4)
Deception 5 (+5)
Expertise (Geology) 3 (+3)
Expertise (Singing) 6 (+6)
Expertise (Guitar) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Security Guard) 2 (+2)
Intimidation 4 (+4)
Perception 2 (+1)
Persuasion 4 (+4)
Stealth 2 (+2)

Advantages:
Close Attack 2, Improved Critical (Unarmed), Ranged Attack 2

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +2, Fortitude +3, Will +2

Complications:
Relationship (Stan)- Randy loves his son very deeply, and is proud of him, yet constantly agitates Stan with a combination of reckless and needy behavior, becoming dependent.
Relationship (Sharon)- Sharon is greatly annoyed by Randy's immaturity and impulsiveness, frequently shouting at him and being unable to deal with his various obsessions. They have divorced twice, but reconciled both times after promising to share their feelings.
Relationship (Shelly)- Shelly finds her father tiresome, but Randy is quite protective of her.
Responsibility (Addictive Personality)- Randy tends to latch onto fads and crazes very quickly, becoming obsessed with them. He has spent hours caring for and protecting his record-breaking shit, become a professional house-flipper, gotten addicted to cooking of all things, and attempted to become a singing sensation more than once.
Addiction (Alcohol)- Though it is NOT a disease, Randy has problems with liquor. He would normally have been able to quit, but hearing from AA that he was helpless against his disease caused him to become a useless, helpless wreck.
Addiction (Masturbation)- Randy cannot go very long without jerking off. When America's internet went down for a period of time, he used what was left to... well, he made a mess.
Responsibility (Temper)- Randy tends to get into fights a lot.
Secret (Lorde)- Randy is actually the successful musician known as Lorde, though he requires computers to help keep up the illusion of a better singing voice. "Ya-ya-ya- I am Lorde".
Reputation ("That N***ers Guy!")- Randy gave an incorrect answer on Jeopardy! when he bought the wrong vowel for "N_GGERS: People who annoy you". This stuck with him for some time (even after he kissed the ass of Jesse Jackson, who claims to speak for all black people), until the government made it illegal to call him taht.

Total: Abilities: 18 / Skills: 34--17 / Advantages: 5 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 6 (46)

-Randy Marsh's early appearances in the show are basically as "just some guy", with him later being revealed to be Stan's dad. Initially a minor character, he only had a bit of focus here and there- less than either Kenny or Kyle's dads, actually. Which makes it all the weirder that Randy ended up being one of the show's Top Five characters.

-What Matt & Trey hit upon was Randy being an obsessive weirdo who tended to fall "all in" on things. He couldn't just drink- he had to get ANNIHILATED. If he caught onto a fad, he instantly became the most obsessive, ardent fan of it. Through him, the creators poke fun at every modern trend, like the explosion in "Food Porn" shows (Randy's cooking attempts come off like literal pornography, with him hiding away to try more and more obscure and outrageous flavor combinations). He goes crazy with White People Flipping Houses, which cracks wise at the modern explosion of "house-flipping" shows, all of which are hosted by the whitest people ever, who always tear down the wall between the kitchen ang living room, going "for more of an open concept".

-To me, the show's funniest single moment might be the "Baseball" episode, where the boys are miserable playing this boring-ass game, while Randy (who's been getting into drunken fights with dads at every single game) is just sitting on the porch with the HAPPIEST GODDAMN SMILE IN THE UNIVERSE. I can't even explain WHY it's so funny- it's just the sheer difference between the boys' feelings and Randy's absolute pride in how this is such good, old-fashioned fun. All the dads are into the Americana and "boys playing baseball" of it all, but Randy takes it to this whole other level. He's just SO happy. All the better that he believes it's his duty to get into drunken fights with the other fathers, and treats Sharon's admonishing him as reverse psychology ("You don't HAVE to get into fights with other dads, you know?" "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, SHARON, AND IT WON'T WORK!").

-Randy is actually a highly-skilled fighter, and can beat up dads as powerful as Bat-Dad- a legendary brawler.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sun Mar 25, 2018 4:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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HalloweenJack
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Scientology! Satan! Woodland Critters! Randy!

Post by HalloweenJack »

and I'm pretty sure he was Slash
Jabroniville
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Scientology! Satan! Woodland Critters! Randy!

Post by Jabroniville »

HalloweenJack wrote: Sat Mar 24, 2018 3:58 pm and I'm pretty sure he was Slash
N... No, dude! Slash is real! I KNOW he is! Who ELSE toured with Guns 'N' Roses for all those years?
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HalloweenJack
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Scientology! Satan! Woodland Critters! Randy!

Post by HalloweenJack »

Jabroniville wrote: Sat Mar 24, 2018 6:43 pm
HalloweenJack wrote: Sat Mar 24, 2018 3:58 pm and I'm pretty sure he was Slash
N... No, dude! Slash is real! I KNOW he is! Who ELSE toured with Guns 'N' Roses for all those years?
I told you....one of our parents!



Which given Randy's admitted musical ability, it's a pretty good fan theory
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Sharon

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

SHARON MARSH
Role:
Annoyed Wife, Straight Woman
PL 2 (24), PL 3 (24) Saves
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 1 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 2

Skills:
Expertise (Receptionist) 2 (+3)
Expertise (Decoration) 2 (+3)
Insight 4 (+6)
Perception 2 (+4)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +1 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +1 (DC 11), Toughness +1, Fortitude +2, Will +4

Complications: 
Relationship (Stan)- Sharon adores her son, and frequently tries to defend him from the law. She will hide dead bodies for him.
Relationship (Randy)- Sharon is greatly annoyed by Randy's immaturity and impulsiveness, frequently shouting at him and being unable to deal with his various obsessions. They have divorced twice, but reconciled both times after promising to share their feelings.
Relationship (Shelly)- Sharon interacts little with Shelly, but does not seem to notice how violent she is.
Responsibility (Female)- All females become famished for blowjobs after seeing Broadway musicals, via extremely-subtle subliminal messaging.

Total: Abilities: 14 / Skills: 10--5 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 5 (24)

-Sharon Marsh has a lot of Marge Simpson in her- the annoyed, normal wife to a stupid, insane husband, Sharon is constantly angered by Randy's ridiculous obsessions and interests, often reluctantly going along with them. She got more normal as Randy got more insane (the early days actually showed HER as the crazy one, as she joined Mothers Against Canada, and buried Stan's "murder victims"- actually those slain by his evil pet goldfish), and her repeated anger at Randy's continuing to film a monster attack led to some great riffs on Cloverfield. One episode saw her grow apart from Randy thanks to his cooking obsession, but her Shake Weight led to a revelation- a single "old-fashioned" was enough to get Randy to assert that "Cooking's gay", and she won back her husband. She finally had enough in a later episode, however, divorcing him for a short time, until they mutually decided to just "stick with what you're used to", much to Stan's frustration during his attempts to start a new life. Really, she's a perfect "Straight Woman"- easily-angered and constantly agitated because of Randy's stupidity.
Jabroniville
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Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Broadway Bros

Post by Jabroniville »

ImageImageImageImage

THE BROADWAY BROS
Role:
Total Bros
PL 2 (34)
STRENGTH
1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Deception 5 (+8)
Expertise (Songwriting) 14 (+15)
Insight 3 (+6)

Advantages:
Ultimate Songwriting

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +3

Complications: 
Secret (Broadway is Designed to Get Men Blowjobs)- Through very subtle subliminal messaging, Broadway musicals are designed as a way to make women "famished for blowjobs".

Total: Abilities: 22 / Skills: 22--11 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 0 (34)

-In an episode meant to hype The Book of Mormon on Broadway, Randy Marsh learns that Broadway Musicals are actually designed to make women famished for blowjobs. He is in disbelief at first, but after taking Sharon to see Wicked (showing some AMAZING clips of all the characters- even Dr. Dillamond, oddly, as an "iconic character" of the play- singing a song very similar to No One Mourns the Wicked), he finds out that IT'S TRUE. Taking Sharon on a Broadway tour of New York gives him an endless supply of pleasure, leading to an attempt at writing his own musical.

-However, he soon learns that all of the Broadway writers- Elton John, Stephen Schwartz, Andrew Lloyd Weber and Stephen Sondheim- are in fact TOTAL bros. They hang out at Hooters, drink booze and eat wings, and act like the biggest stereotypes of male douchery possible. And when they declare that his musical lacks subtlety and endangers their secret, they try to shut him down. Randy fights back, but after finally declaring "I RESPECT YOU!" to Sondheim in a "Bro Down" (which consists of the two swinging their arms at their sides while hollering back and forth- if you've ever seen two guys get mad at each other, but each be too afraid to throw the first punch, you've seen it), they come to an agreement- the Bros decide to help Randy.

-First off, they decide that Spooge-Drenched Blowjob Queen is too on-the-nose as a title- replacing it with The Woman in White. Sadly, Randy's vision goes down in flames when he finds that his DAUGHTER is about to see Wicked- he dresses up as Spider-Man and interrupts the musical, ruining the show and saving his daughter's honor. Yes, SPIDER-MAN ruining musicals. SUBTLE METAPHOR.

-The episode is a favorite of mine, and you can't believe how tickled I am to hear that one of Trey Parker's favorite plays is Wicked (his collaborator, Robert Lopez- who co-wrote the songs for Book of Mormon and, later, Frozen, said this in an interview).
Jabroniville
Posts: 24689
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

TIMMEH!!!!!

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

TIMMY BURCH (aka Iron Maiden)
Role:
Crippled Kid, Show Mascot, Fallen Character (Opening Sequence to Minor Supporting Cast)
PL 0 (10), PL 2 (10) Defenses
STRENGTH
-3 STAMINA -2 AGILITY -4
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE -1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Athletics 4 (+1)
Deception 2 (+5)
Insight 3 (+5)
Perception 2 (+4)
Persuasion 3 (+6)

Advantages:
Equipment (Wheelchair)

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (-3 Damage, DC 12)
Initiative -4

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness -2, Fortitude -1, Will +5

Complications: 
Relationship (Jimmy)- Jimmy & Timmy are best friends, having made up after their "Cripple Fight".
Disabled (Vaguely-Crippled)- Timmy is thought to be "retarded" by the other kids, but is actually of pretty normal intelligence. However, he cannot walk, shifts about at random, and can only spout either his name or something that sounds vaguely like "livin' a lie!", though a few other words have popped out. Only Jimmy Valmer can understand his dialogue.
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: -6 / Skills: 14--7 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 8 (10)

-Introduced fairly "late" in the series compared to most major characters, Timmy debuted in Season Four, and instantaneously became a meme. The sight of a mentally and physically-handicapped kid shouting his own name as his only form of dialogue really hit a comedic nerve, and instantly kids were shouting "TIMMEH!!!" all over the place. His random gibberish would also come out like "livin' a lie- TIMMEH!!", making him extra-memorable. The character became so hugely-popular that by Season Six, he got his own phrase in the show's opening sequence!

-Comedy Central was initially nervous about the character and wanted him removed, but Matt & Trey pushed to keep him, and pointed out that the other children treated him equally compared to anyone else (in an episode where people fear he's being exploited by being put in a rock group, Stan defends him from Phil Collins, pointing out that Timmy's cool, because in this role "He's in your face, and now you HAVE to deal with him!", and that over-protecting kids like him from the world is wrong). Timmy was eventually pushed into the background, however- his character was limited given his dialogue style, and Jimmy Valmer, also crippled and introduced later, became much more nuanced and well-rounded. Though they fought at first, the two eventually became close friends, with Timmy performing a sidekick role in most "Jimmy" episodes, thus keeping him somewhat prominent in spite of a MAJOR de-push as a character (Opening Sequence to "Jimmy's Friend" is as big a drop as Pip & Barbrady had).

-Timmy would have an effect on Team America: World Police, when Matt Damon's puppet came out and it "looked retarded", according to Matt & Trey. So they swiftly portrayed the character as mentally-disabled, spouting only "MATT DAMON!!" in a retarded-sounding voice as his only dialogue. Damon not only found this hilarious (he said he would have gladly played the role if asked), but says he gets people coming up to him and doing this in the streets constantly.

-Timmy is crippled and can only fight a similarly low-level character like Jimmy, but is more clever than he appears to be.

As Iron Maiden: Timmy gains telepathic powers, a la Charles Xavier.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sun Mar 25, 2018 5:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Jimmy

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

Stan: "Jimmy! Jimmy!"
Jimmy: "He-hey there-- Stan. What's- up?"
Stan: "You've got a way with words! I need you to talk to Wendy for me. Tell her... she's a CONTINUING source of inspiration to me!"
Jimmy: "Sh-sure thing, Stan!" *shuffles over to Wendy* "Hey, W- hey Wendy."
Wendy: "... Yeah?"
Jimmy: "S-Stan says you're a CONT... you're a cont-- Stan says you're a CONT... A cont... Stan says you're a cont- cont-cont--"
Wendy: "WELL TELL STAN TO FUCK OFF!!" *Wendy angrily leaves*
Jimmy: "-TINUING source of inspiration to him!"
(Later)
Jimmy: "Sh-she just walked away, Stan! You're gonna have to face facts- it's OVER."

---

Randy: "Do you know where the boys went, Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "Sure! They're at the video st-- the video st-- the video STUUUUHHH... The video STUUUU..."
Mr. Stotch: "The video... Sandwich?"
Randy: *annoyed* "What's a video sandwich, Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "NO, YOU RETARDS!! The video... ST-ORE."

(Randy's annoyance when he asks "What's a video sandwich, Jimmy?" just slays me every time)


JIMMY VALMER (aka Fastpass)
Role:
Town Comic, Friendly Kid
PL 1 (14), PL 3 (14) Defenses
STRENGTH
-2 STAMINA -1 AGILITY -3
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Athletics 4 (+2)
Deception 4 (+7)
Expertise (Stand-Up Comedy) 3 (+6)
Insight 2 (+3)
Perception 2 (+3)
Persuasion 3 (+6)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (-2 Damage, DC 13)
Initiative -3

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness -1, Fortitude +0, Will +5

Complications: 
Relationship (Timmy)- Jimmy & Timmy are best friends, having made up after their "Cripple Fight".
Disabled (Cerebral Palsy, Pfeiffer Syndrome)- Jimmy walks with double canes, as his legs are crooked. He also has a pronounced stutter, which means that singing The Twelve Days of Christmas can take hours.
Responsibility ("Wow, what a great audience!")- Jimmy is polite to a fault.
Enemy (Nathan)- Jimmy seems unaware that Nathan, another disabled kid, despises him.
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: 0 / Skills: 18--9 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 5 (14)

-One of the best characters created later on in the series, Jimmy is a friendly, happy kid who just happens to have a pronounce stutter and walk with canes. Initially a one-off, he was an exaggeration of the "handi-capable" feel-good character archetype, but he ended up gaining real development as time went on. His initial feud with Timmy as the only other crippled kid at school (culminating in a shot-for-shot remake of the famous fight from They Live!), the two became great friends, going off on many adventures together. Of particular note is the time they joined the Crips gang (mistaking them for "crippled" kids like themselves), accidentally killing thirty Bloods and becoming respected gang-bangers as a result. However, they ended the Crips/Bloods feud by locking everybody in the Rec Center overnight- "it ALWAYS works!".

-Jimmy & Timmy have actually become rather popular with actual disabled people, because the show frequently DOESN'T call attention to their handicaps, yet doesn't consider them off-limits for comedy- in essence, it treats them like anybody else in their world. It helps that Jimmy has become one of the few minor characters who can now carry several episodes by himself, such as Up the Down Steroid (in which he starts using steroids to win in the Special Olympics), the time he & Timmy joined the Crips, and when he and the prostitute Nut Gobbler had sex so that he wouldn't get an erection on stage (it didn't work).

-Jimmy is highly-charismatic, though not very capable physically. He and Timmy had a knock-down, drag-out fight with each other, but he has lost fights to Eric Cartman and others, and is generally highly-vulnerable. He is a decent enough stand-up comedian, but was responsible for the funniest joke of all time ("Do you like fishsticks?" "Yeah" "Th-then you must be a-- Gay FISH."). Sadly, Cartman took credit for all of it.

As Fastpass: Jimmy gains super-speed.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sun Mar 25, 2018 5:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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