Jab’s Builds! (Beaker! Sam Eagle! Miss Piggy! The Swedish Chef!)

Where in all of your character write ups will go.
Jabroniville
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LANNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

Lana: "I'm not ADDICTED to lecturing people!"
Archer, Pam, Cheryl, Cyril, Ray: *uncontrollable laughter for ten full seconds*
Lana: "ya KNOW...

---

Sterling Archer: What? You're black... ish.
Agent Lana Kane: ISH?!?
Sterling Archer: Well, what's the word for it, Lana? You FREAKED OUT when I said "Quadroon"!
Agent Lana Kane: IMAGINE THAT?
Sterling Archer: YOU imagine it!
Malory Archer: Both of you imagine SHUTTING UP!


LANA KANE
Played by:
Aisha Tyler
Role: Secret Agent, Action Girl, Belligerent Female Co-Worker, Straight Woman
Group Affiliations: ISIS
PL 8 (105)
STRENGTH
2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 5
FIGHTING 8 DEXTERITY 6
INTELLIGENCE 3 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Acrobatics 2 (+7)
Athletics 6 (+8)
Deception 3 (+6, +10 Attractive)
Expertise (Secret Agent) 8 (+11)
Insight 2 (+5)
Intimidation 2 (+5)
Investigation 5 (+8)
Perception 3 (+6)
Persuasion 3 (+6, +10 Attractive)
Stealth 1 (+6)
Technology 1 (+4)

Advantages:
Attractive 2, Benefit 2 (Secret Agent Clearance), Chokehold, Equipment 3 (Spy Gear), Fast Grab, Grab Finesse, Improved Aim, Improved Critical (Guns), Quick Draw, Ranged Attack 4

Powers:
"Man Hands"
Strength-Damage +1 [1]
Enhanced Advantages: Improved Hold, Improved Critical (Unarmed) 2 [3]

Equipment:
"Pistol" Blast 5 (10)
Assorted Gear (Varies By Mission) (5)

Offense:
Unarmed +8 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Pistol +10 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +5

Defenses:
Dodge +8 (DC 18), Parry +8 (DC 18), Toughness +3, Fortitude +6, Will +6

Complications:
Relationship (Archer)- Lana dated Archer for years, finally breaking up with him due to his frequent cheating, and his "35-year-old umbilical cord". There is still some physical attraction there (you might say she is in a certain ZONE of DANGER), but Archer's constantly being an ass puts a damper on it.
Relationship (Cyril Figgis)- Lana dated Cyril for months, but kept him at an arm's length while also emasculating him. When he was caught cheating on her, she dumped him unceremoniously, and spent several episodes humiliating him. She later used him as a booty call, however.
Relationship (Malory Archer)- Lana obsesses over her boss' lack of respect for her, and is one of the first to rip on Malory for her drunkenness and her lascivious behavior.
Disabled (Tinnitus)- Not as bad as Archer's, but Lana still has had to have her ears checked.
Prejudice (Man Hands)- Even people who are attracted to her are freaked out by the sheer size of her hands.
Prejudice (Black)- Lana is occasionally looked down upon for her race (usually be Malory), but it mainly comes into effect because of her job- she was once unable to stage a rescue mission when Archer was kidnapped by the KGB because she would be unbelievable as "Russia's ONLY black woman".
Temper- Lana is the most easily-angered member of her team, and frequently assaults her co-workers.
Disabled (Bad Inner Ear)- Lana cannot handle the rigors of space very well, and threw up CONSTANTLY on the Vomit Comet during space training, and couldn't even operate on a Space Station.
Addiction (Lecturing People)

Total: Abilities: 66 / Skills: 36--18 / Advantages: 17 / Powers: 4 / Defenses: 9 (105)

-Lana is Archer's primary co-worker, and much of the show's humor is derived from their endless squabbling, sexual tension (usually the belligerent kind) and physical violence. It's the classic "Minority character who is the most competent person at the job", but she's got her own set of personality flaws that make her an awful person to be around, such as her tendency to emasculate people, a vicious biting wit, and a desperate need for praise and promotions. It irks her that Sterling, an idiot, constantly gets all the best assignments, but she realizes that all of Archer's mental problems are a result of his raising at the hands of Malory, whom Lana also is disgusted by.

-In a later season, Lana gives birth to a daughter- the result of inseminating herself with Archer's "seed". This was largely due to his physical perfection, but also the fact that "Deep down, I still kind of love you", but the two still argued quite a lot. Later, the two give in to their sexual tension and just starting banging each other silly, leading to a humorous bunch of circumstances as they try to make a relationship work once more (this is complicated by things like Archer's ex leaving her vagina in his sink- long story- and Archer assuming that he and Lana's dad were going to spit-roast her mom in the hot tub). As of the most-recent episode, they're on a break after he continued being... himself.

-Lana is just as good in the field as Archer is, but packs a few different attributes- her ridiculously-strong hands allow her to do tremendous damage unarmed (she once RIPPED A MAN'S HAND OFF while he had a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist). She's also one of those rare characters to pack Attractive 2, as despite her freakish hands and height, she's so hot that EVEN RAY wanted to have sex with her ("but... you're gay!" "PLEASE... no one's that gay."), and is reliably the best Double Agent on the squad due to her ability to seduce men. Though there are certain problems with her acting as a deep cover agent ("What? As Russia's ONLY black woman?").
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sat Nov 26, 2016 2:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Bishamon! Huitzil! Hsien-Ko! Anakaris! Jedah!)

Post by Batgirl III »

I think the key to Archer'a success with the Asshole Protagonist and Insane Supporting Cast formula is that while everyone is a completely twisted individual they all* remain just grounded enough to recognize how seriously messed up everyone else is... This is the source of half the humor.

* Cheryl is the exception. She's just complete demented.
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Re: Hsien-Ko

Post by M4C8 »

Jabroniville wrote:Image
Image

HSIEN-KO (aka "Rei-Rei")
First Appearance:
Vampire Savior (1995)
Game Appearances: Darkstalkers- All Games But The First, Marvel (vs) Capcom 3
Home Country: China
Role: Blue Chick, Demon Hunter
PL 10 (165)
STRENGTH
3 STAMINA 4 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 15 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Acrobatics 8 (+12)
Athletics 10 (+13)
Deception 2 (+5)
Expertise (Demon Hunter) 8 (+10)
Expertise (History) 2 (+4)
Insight 3 (+6)
Intimidation 2 (+5)
Perception 7 (+10)
Ranged Combat (Axes) 8 (+12)
Stealth 4 (+8)

Advantages:
Agile Feint, Improved Critical (Houten Geki), Improved Critical (Ankh-Hou), Improved Critical (Senpuu Buu), Improved Grab, Improved Initiative, Ranged Attack 2, Startle

"DarkStalker" Fighting Style: Accurate Attack (Jab), All-Out Attack, Defensive Roll, Extraordinary Effort, Fast Grab (Grab), Improved Critical (Unarmed) 2, Improved Defense, Improved Hold, Improved Trip (Throw), Power Attack (Roundhouse), Takedown, Withstand Damage (Block)

Powers:
"Jiang-Shi Physiology"
Immunity 1 (Aging) [1]
"Double Jump" Leaping 1 (15 feet) [1]
"Weapons In Sleeves" Strength-Damage +2 (Feats: Reach) [3]

"Henkyou-Ki- Reflecting Shield" Deflect 10 (Extras: Reflection) (Reduced Parry 2) (18) -- [21]
  • AE: "Ankh Hou- Axe Toss" Blast 5 (Reduced Defenses 1, Diminished Range -1) (7)
  • AE: "Houten Geki- Spinning Toss" Strength-Damage +2 (Feats: +2 to Hit Opponents Who Parried Last Turn) (Inaccurate -1) (2)
  • AE: "Senpuu Buu- Slicing Axe Jump" Strength-Damage +0 (Extras: Multiattack 5) (Flaws: Distracting 5) Linked to Affliction 5 (Toughness; Dazed & Vulnerable/Stunned & Defenseless) (Extras: Extra Condition) (Flaws: Limited Degree) (7.5)
Offense:
Unarmed +15 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Weapons +15 (+5 Damage, DC 20)
Special Moves +13 (+7 Damage, DC 22)
Axe Slice +15 (+5 Damage & Affliction, DC 20 & 15)
Axe Toss +12 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +8

Defenses:
Dodge +14 (DC 24), Parry +15 (DC 25), Toughness +4 (+5 D.Roll), Fortitude +8, Will +8

Complications:
Motivation (Stopping the Darkstalkers)- When they were children, two girls lost their mother and their entire village to an attack from Darkstalkers. Their mothers' sacrifice allowed them to tap tremendous power, and so they have learned to fight the monsters themselves.
Responsibility (Dark Side)- Becoming a Jiang-Shi is dangerous, and threatens to consume Hsien-Ko's soul.
Weakness (Predictability)- Hsien-Ko, like all Darkstalkers, cannot simply "spam" out the same attack over and over again, as the opponent will expect the attacks, and be ready for them (and a counterattack). The third time she tries the same technique (or same combo of techniques) in a short span, she will be at -2 to Accuracy, AND to his Active Defenses in that round. All will decrease by 2 every successive round the same move is done.

Total: Abilities: 72 / Skills: 54--27 / Advantages: 9 + 13 / Powers: 25 / Defenses: 19 (165)

-I never really "got" Hsien-Ko, just looking at her game sprites. I think if I'd seen the larger drawings that put IMMENSE focus on her tremendous "bloobs" and the keyhole opening in her outfit that showed 'em, maybe I've have seen it... but when your comrades are Felicia & Morrigan, let's just say that you gotta do better than that to stand out. Hsien-Ko was one of two new characters in the second Darkstalkers game (the other was Donovan), and was called a "Chinese Ghost" in the early descriptions. She turned into a "Jiang-Shi" in order to punish the Darkstalkers and protect her mother's spirit after their village was attacked- her beloved sister Mei-Ling acts as a living "ward" to prevent Hsien-Ko from giving in to her darker half.

-Her "idle animation" is TEXTBOOK "Uncanny Valley", as she arches forward wierdly while on her tip-toes, and keeps lolling her head back and forth in a deathlike, inhuman manner. I do like the overall concept of a girl with endless weaponry hidden in her sleeves, however- she basically fights using buzzsaws, giant claws, or larger objects with her Special Moves.

Monster Basis: Hsien-Ko is a monster type that's little-known in the West- the "Jiang-Shi", or "Jumping Vampire". It's a lifeforce-draining, hopping undead monster that doesn't really match up perfectly with any kind of Western thing, so people bounced between "vampire" and "ghost" in descriptions of her for a long time (similar to how people always mix up "Oni" and "Demon"- "Oni" are not "Japanese Demons"- they're ONI).

-Hsien-Ko is pretty fast, and uses a lot of weird, quicky attacks that make her hard to predict. And her name is supposed to be pronounced "Syen-koh", and Marvel (vs) Capcom 3 apparently had a LOT of errors from the English-speaking voice actors on this front.
The only time I can recall seeing chi-vampires was on The Jackie Chan Adventures animated show.
What's the difference between an Oni and a demon?
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Bishamon! Huitzil! Hsien-Ko! Anakaris! Jedah!)

Post by Spectrum »

Demons are a very Christian/Western concept.
Oni.. aren't. And odd to make plural.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Bishamon! Huitzil! Hsien-Ko! Anakaris! Jedah!)

Post by danelsan »

There is a mess of syncretism to get there, but in their current depictions Oni are probably a closer analogue to Ogres than demons. Though that is still far from a precise equivalency.
Jabroniville
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Ray

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

(the gang are watching Burt Reynolds movies)
Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total "sploosh".
Lana: ... Yeah, gotta give him a "sploosh".
Ray: And... whatever my equivalent of "sploosh" is. Which I guess is just sploosh... 

Only with semen.


RAY GILLETTE
Played by:
Adam Reed
Role: Secret Agent, Token Gay Guy, Back-Up Fighter
Group Affiliations: ISIS
PL 6 (89)
STRENGTH
2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 5 DEXTERITY 5
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Acrobatics 1 (+5)
Athletics 6 (+8)
Deception 3 (+6)
Expertise (Secret Agent) 5 (+7)
Expertise (Skier) 6 (+8)
Expertise (Art) 4 (+6)
Expertise (Ordained Minister) 2 (+4)
Insight 2 (+5)
Investigation 5 (+8)
Perception 2 (+5)
Stealth 2 (+6)
Technology 1 (+3)

Advantages:
Benefit 2 (Secret Agent Clearance), Equipment 3 (Spy Gear), Improved Aim, Ranged Attack 2

Equipment:
"Pistol" Blast 5 (10)
Assorted Gear (Varies By Mission) (5)

Offense:
Unarmed +5 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Pistol +7 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +4

Defenses:
Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +5, Will +5

Complications:
Relationship (Archer)- Ray is frequently the butt of Archer's jokes, especially once he becomes handicapped. Ray holds so much genuine hostility towards Archer that he once held up back-up from getting to him as the KGB was hunting him down.
Disabled (Crippled)- Ray spends an unusual amount of time in a wheelchair, being injured or otherwise crippled after a series of humorous accidents.
Relationship (Brother, Randy)- Ray's brother is a weed-growing hillbilly who doesn't know that Ray is gay.
Prejudice (Homosexual)- Ray hides his sexuality from his redneck West Virginian hometown.

Total: Abilities: 54 / Skills: 40--20 / Advantages: 8 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 7 (89)

-Ray is one of the only other semi-competent agents at ISIS, and often ends up being used as back-up for Archer & Lana. He's openly gay, bitchy and prone to horrible spinal injury, as well as probably being the most sane person in the entire building. He & Archer have an extremely antagonistic relationship with each other, though Archer STILL treats him better than he does Cyril, Pam or Cheryl.

- Later season depict Ray as a cyborg below the waist, with Speed and Swimming enhancements at low levels.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sat Nov 26, 2016 5:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Krieger-Sama!!

Post by Jabroniville »

Image
Image

Archer: I've been treating my cancer with sugar pills!?
Krieger: You didn't think it was weird your chemo drugs were chewable?
Archer: Little kids get cancer!
Krieger: *sad sigh* They DOOOOO...

---

Sterling: If you don't want to see two robots smashing each other with cop cars and shit as they fight each other through the streets of Manhattan...
Krieger: Stop. My penis can only get SO erect.

---

*Archer looks at Krieger's skin-like diving suit*
Archer: Why is it flesh tone?!
Krieger: Well, it's not if you're BLACK.
Archer: God... what is it with serial killers and SKIN?
Krieger: I'm not a... SERIAL killer.
Archer: ... Why did you emphasize "serial"?
Krieger: I did WHAAAAAAAAAT?


KRIEGER (Doctor Algernop Krieger)
Played by:
Adam Reed
Role: Mad Doctor, Tech Guy
Group Affiliations: ISISl, The Boys From Brazil
PL 3 (58)
STRENGTH
1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 4
INTELLIGENCE 5 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Deception 4 (+4)
Expertise (Science) 8 (+13)
Expertise (Pop Culture) 2 (+7)
Expertise (Music) 4 (+4) -- Flaws: Limited to Drumming
Perception 1 (+1)
Technology 9 (+14)
Treatment 6 (+6)

Advantages:
Benefit 1 (ISIS Clearance), Equipment 5 (Science Lab, Sweet Van with "Rush" Logo), Inventor, Languages (English, Portugese, German)

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +1, Fortitude +2, Will +3

Complications:
Obsession (Insane Science)- Krieger is frequently seen or overheard creating horrible crimes against nature, such as a half-man, half-goat creature named "Goatley". He also forces people to take LSD as part of his experiments, built a Choke-Bot to choke Cheryl, and created no less than THREE cyborgs.
Relationship (Virtual Girlfriend)- Krieger, an anime/hentai enthusiast, has a virtual girlfrien who frequently appears holographically from his computers to say something embarassing to him.
Responsibility (Boy From Brazil)- Krieger may be the son of Albert Mengele, the vicious Nazi Doctor, as well as being a perfect adult clone of Adolf Hitler himself.
Responsibility (Creepy Fetishist)- Krieger has been known to get erections during bum fights, while carving up dead bodies, when contemplating cyborg fights, or just while generally being happy.
Secret (Not a Doctor)- Krieger is not a medical doctor, "nor the other kind". "Doctor" is in fact his first name.

Total: Abilities: 26 / Skills: 32--16 / Advantages: 8 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 8 (58)

-Krieger is generally used as a funny background character who says or does something inappropriate, or to move the plot along by giving agents Gadgets or Tech-Advise, a la Q from "James Bond". He's a competent Science Guy (below top-tier comics guys, but good enough to build Cyborgs, Super-Spy Cars, and pig-boys), a good Drummer (though cannot complete Rush's YYZ- that's Why-Why-ZED- because "Neil Peart stands alone"), and a decent liar, but is not the best combatant.

-Honestly, the best stuff with Krieger is his hentai-girl Virtual Girlfriend. Every time I see her on-screen, I laugh my ass off- she's just SO creepy and bizarre, but they PERFECTLY nail that "sad Japanese girl" voice that creepy otaku like. That and his Rush-inspired vans, which are constantly being destroyed (it's usually Archer's fault).
Jabroniville
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Bishamon! Huitzil! Hsien-Ko! Anakaris! Jedah!)

Post by Jabroniville »

danelsan wrote:There is a mess of syncretism to get there, but in their current depictions Oni are probably a closer analogue to Ogres than demons. Though that is still far from a precise equivalency.
The "Ogre Mage" race in D&D are, effectively, Oni. Oni are a mighty race of lightning-powered creatures who live in the mountains, and are associated with strength and aggression. Thus makes it quite easy to conflate them with Demons, especially a they also have horns.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Bishamon! Huitzil! Hsien-Ko! Anakaris! Jedah!)

Post by Ken »

Spectrum wrote:Demons are a very Christian/Western concept.
Oni.. aren't. And odd to make plural.
I thought oni were male siblings.
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Jabroniville
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Cyril

Post by Jabroniville »

ImageImage

Cyril: Because I happen to be a kick-ass accountant!
Spelvin: Did that sound a lot better in your head?
Cyril: ... Yeah.

---

Cyril: Which is it's true, is--
Malory: WONDERFUL!
Cyril: IIIII was gonna say terrible.
Malory: Because you are a TIMID man, Cyril.
Cyril: What?!? No I'm not!
Pam: Du-hu-hu-huuuude! Your BALLS are made of pussy!


CYRIL FIGGIS
Played by:
Chris Parnell
Role: Butt-Monkey, Romantic Rival
Group Affiliations: ISIS
PL 3 (29)
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 3 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Deception 5 (+5)
Expertise (Comptroller) 4 (+7)
Expertise (Military) 4 (+7)
Insight 2 (+3)
Technology 2 (+5)
Vehicles 1 (+1)

Advantages:
Benefit 1 (Secret Agent Clearance), Equipment 2 (Spy Gear)

Equipment:
"Pistol" Blast 5 (10)

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Pistol +0 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +1, Fortitude +2, Will +3

Complications:
Addiction (Poon)- Cyril has a sex addiction as deep as Archer's, causing him to frequently cheat on Lana (who is already too attractive for him). Apparently the fact that he once needed a "penis DE-lengthening" helps him out with the ladies.
Reputation (Wussy)- Cyril is a crybaby who easily panics. Most of the times he fires a gun involve him wailing incoherently while firing at random.
Rivalry (Archer)- It's mostly one-sided, with Cyril whining and Archer being cruel to him. Once, he even flew Cyril open-mouthed into a floating puddle of Lana's puke while on the Vomit Comet.
Relationship (Lana Kane)- Cyril is a domesticated wuss around Lana, who refuses to say that she loves him, and is often terribly condescending. The humiliation does not combine well with Cyril's sex addiction.

Total: Abilities: 10 / Skills: 18--9 / Advantages: 3 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 7 (29)

-Cyril starts things off as Lana's new boyfriend, who constantly feels useless because Lana is so much tougher than he is, and her ex, Archer, is more of a man than him (but not in a CERTAIN area *wink wink*). He's extremely feminized by the others, which embarasses him tremendously (being a good domestic hand and a sensitive listener-sort), but is a complete baby in combat. He spends a lot of time in firefights firing indiscriminately, and was EASILY defeated by a Drug Lord in hand-to-hand (where he has even less capability). He makes his PL with Dodge & his Pistol, but is notably still awful at both things, despite being upgraded to Special Agent due to budget cuts- he pulls off a pretty good lie once or twice, but can't get anything done physically. Curiously, he becomes the boss of the "Figgis Agency" in a later season (when ISIS loses their funding), starting a Detective agency... but naturally he still gets absolutely no respect.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sat Nov 26, 2016 7:22 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Jab's Builds! (Bishamon! Huitzil! Hsien-Ko! Anakaris! Jedah!)

Post by Batgirl III »

Cyril does show some skill for strategic-level military thinking, as the whole "ISIS accidentally becomes a military junta" adds it in a bit of a Skill I Always Had moment... But, really, Cyril is exactly the nebbishy kind of manchild who would devout his life to miniature wargaming.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go apply the next highlight layer to the bayonets on my my Second Battalion, Parachute Regiment's new rifle section... They don't like it up 'em, no sir. They don't like it up 'em!
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Cheryl

Post by Jabroniville »

Image

Lana: Uhh... Kill... Kill... God, when do I get to end so I can see what Cyril said?
Cheryl: You seriously don't think that's hot? 
Pam Poovey: I seriously think you're scary! 
Cheryl: No, no no no... Like, a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk, and you think, "Yeah, okay, he's gonna give me mouth to mouth." But instead, he just starts choking the shit out of you, and the last sensation that you feel before you die is he is squeezing your throat so hard that a big, wet, blob of drool drips off his teeth and just "flurr", falls right onto your popped out eyeball... 
Pam Poovey: Jesus Christ! 
Cheryl: I know, right? 
Lana: What the hell! 
Cheryl: I'm wet just thinking about it. 
Lana: Cyril! Cyril, you get your ass out here right now! 
Cheryl: Is she freaking 'cause Cyril said he wanted to bang Danny, the intern? 
Pam Poovey: No, I think it's 'cause he said he wanted to marry her. 
Cheryl: She's so weird... Hey, will you choke me a little bit?

---

"GASP! Just like the old Gypsy woman said!!"


CHERYL TUNT (aka Carol, Karolina & Cristal)
Played by:
Judy Greer
Role: Butt-Monkey, Office Slut, Rich Idiot
Group Affiliations: ISIS
PL 3 (17)
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Deception 2 (+3)
Expertise (Secretary) 1 (+1)
Stealth 1 (+1)

Advantages:
Benefit 3 (Half a Billion Dollars), Second Chance (Passing Out or Dying From Being Choked)

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +1, Fortitude +2, Will +0

Complications:
Addiction (Being Choked & Injured)- Cheryl is desperately sexually-obsessed with being hit, choked or otherwise injured by others. She deliberately antagonizes Lana & Malory so that they'll strike her, once fantasized about someone murdering her, and grew obsessed with Barry after he choked her into unconsciousness with his super-strong hands.
Addiction (Pyromaniac)
Addiction (Sniffing Rubber Cement)
Relationship (The Tunts)- Cheryl's wealthy family forces her to hold a job in order to inherit their incredible fortune. She hides her identity in order to not be a target for kidnappers (this fails to work). She also has to split the fortune with her "stupid brother Cecil".

Total: Abilities: 8 / Skills: 4--2 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (17)

-Cheryl started off as a pretty aimless, terrible character, merely being a victim of Archer's cruel sexual pranks, with a running gag that she was always changing her name. Eventually, the writers picked up on the idea that she was an extreme deviant personality, and soon she basically... climaxed while being choked to near-death by Barry. She now shows various signs of addiction, a desperate love for being struck and strangled by others (she got Krieger to build her a Choking Machine), and is so stupid that she once got convinced that SHE WAS ACTUALLY IN OPPOSITE WORLD. Despite that, she's a tolerable liar (once convincing Malory & Pam to walk into a room by telling them "DON'T go in there!"), and is highly resistant to being choked.
    Image

    Archer: "Holy shit!... You guys! Look at all of his little spots!

    A his tufted ears!!"


    BABOU
    Role:
    Tiny Four-Legged Asshole
    PL 5 (75)
    STRENGTH
    -1 STAMINA 2 AGILITY 5
    FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 0
    INTELLIGENCE -4 AWARENESS 1 PRESENCE -2

    Skills:
    Acrobatics 6 (+11)
    Athletics 6 (+5)
    Close Combat (Natural Weapons) 4 (+8)
    Expertise (Survival) 2 (+3)
    Intimidation 5 (+1 Size)
    Perception 6 (+7)
    Stealth 4 (+13 Size)

    Advantages:
    Accurate Attack, All-Out Attack, Chokehold, Evasion, Fast Grab, Grappling Finesse, Great Endurance, Improved Critical (Natural Weapons), Improved Defense, Improved Initiative, Prone Fighting, Seize Initiative, Uncanny Dodge (Hearing)

    Powers:
    "Animal Senses" Senses 5 (Low-Light Vision, Acute & Extended Scent, Extended & Ultra-Hearing) [5]
    Speed 4 (16 mph) [4]
    "Natural Weapons- Claws & Teeth" Strength-Damage +3 [3]

    "Cat Agility"
    "Climbing Skills" Enhanced Skills 8: Athletics 8 (+13) (Flaws: Limited to Climbing) [2]
    Leaping 1 [1]
    "Righting Reflex" Immunity 5 (Falling Damage) (Flaws: Limited to Half-Effect) [2.5]

    "Small Size" Shrinking 4 (Feats: Innate) (Extras: Permanent +0) [9]
    (-1 Strength & Speed, +2 Defenses, +4 Stealth, -2 Intimidation)

    Offense:
    Unarmed +4 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
    Claws & Teeth +8 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
    Initiative +9

    Defenses:
    Dodge +8 (DC 18), Parry +8 (DC 18), Toughness +2, Fortitude +3, Will +2

    Complications: 
    Disabled (Animal)- Cats cannot speak to humans, nor use their paws to easily manipulate objects.
    Disabled (Sick)- Babou is frequently ill for some reason, often causing Cheryl to be late while tending to him.

    Total: Abilities: 12 / Skills: 33--16.5 / Advantages: 13 / Powers: 28.5 / Defenses: 5 (75)

    -Also here's Babou, Cheryl's pet Ocelot (or as she likes to call him- "Buyer's Remorse"). He is frequently sick, and a "little, four-legged ASSHOLE!" according to Archer, but sure is cute.
    Jabroniville
    Posts: 24689
    Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

    Re: Jab's Builds! (Bishamon! Huitzil! Hsien-Ko! Anakaris! Jedah!)

    Post by Jabroniville »

    Batgirl III wrote:Cyril does show some skill for strategic-level military thinking, as the whole "ISIS accidentally becomes a military junta" adds it in a bit of a Skill I Always Had moment... But, really, Cyril is exactly the nebbishy kind of manchild who would devout his life to miniature wargaming.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go apply the next highlight layer to the bayonets on my my Second Battalion, Parachute Regiment's new rifle section... They don't like it up 'em, no sir. They don't like it up 'em!
    Oh yeah, good idea- I should add that. These builds are for 3 seasons ago, but I forgot how some things have changed.
    Jabroniville
    Posts: 24689
    Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

    Pam

    Post by Jabroniville »

    Image

    (Pam being viciously beaten by a thug, who blasts her across the face)

    “Who taught you to punch? Your HUSBAND?”

    ---

    Ray: [trying an experimental drug] Oh god! It tastes worse than it smells!
    Pam: If I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that!
    My Friend's Wife, Overhearing: UGH!!


    PAM POOVEY
    Played by:
    Amber Nash
    Role: Butt Monkey, Office Slut
    Group Affiliations: ISIS
    PL 6 (55)
    STRENGTH
    3 STAMINA 4 AGILITY -1
    FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
    INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE -1

    Skills:
    Deception 4 (+3)
    Expertise (Human Resources) 4 (+4)
    Expertise (Streetwise) 5 (+5)
    Expertise (Dairy Farmer) 6 (+6)
    Insight 2 (+4)
    Intimidation 2 (+1)
    Vehicles 5 (+7)

    Advantages:
    Benefit 1 (ISIS Clearance), Close Attack 2, Equipment 2 (Drift Car), Fast Grab, Improved Critical (Unarmed), Improved Hold, Toughness +1, Ultimate Toughness Check

    Offense:
    Unarmed +8 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
    Initiative -1

    Defenses:
    Dodge +2 (DC 12), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +5, Fortitude +4, Will +2

    Complications:
    Addiction (Food)- Pam eats & drinks a lot.
    Responsibility (Overweight)- Pam is obese, and is often treated like she’s absolutely HUGE- people make fun of her constantly, she has problems taking a dump, she apparently has smellier nethers, and nobody at the office wants to sleep with her. The latter bit depresses her greatly.
    Relationship (Archer)- Though Archer detests her as much as anyone else in his life, he becomes addicted to the fact that she is AMAZING in bed. He tries to keep in on the “Down-Low”, subjecting her to tons of nasty abuse.
    Disabled (Allergy)- Pam is highly-allergic to soy.
    Addiction (Cocaine)- Pam spent most of one season COMPLETELY addicted to cocaine. Though it left her body slim (except for her giant breasts), it left her... well, addicted to cocaine. She was really, REALLY annoying and hard to deal with.

    Total: Abilities: 26 / Skills: 28--14 / Advantages: 10 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 5 (55)

    -Pam starts off the show as a generic dorky Office HR Rep (most of her work involves handling Archer’s numerous sexual harassment complains), but soon morphs into one of the funniest characters on the show. She ends up being street-smart (a Drift Car racer at night who hangs with the Yakuza), a depressed wreck when nobody wants to bang her (Lana tosses her a pity lay as a result, but Archer soon becomes addicted to her specific brand of ball-slappingly good intercourse), the best sex partner Archer’s ever had, and one of the best one-liner characters in the show (“I swear to GOD you could drown a TODDLER in my panties!”). Though they go to increasingly-silly lengths to make sure that both Pam AND Cheryl get dragged along on every mission, regardless of how often their stupidity and inability to follow instructions gets them into trouble.

    -Pam is a REMARKABLY-strong fighter, having been shown to pay her way through college by beating the living hell out of people in underground fighting contests (one time, she actually KILLED her opponent)- she’s been shown snapping a man’s neck from behind, and took an obscene amount of punches right to the face while being tortured by kidnappers (who thought she was Cheryl, and therefore had a wealthy ransom).

    -And also... not gonna lie- I totally would.
    Jabroniville
    Posts: 24689
    Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

    Malory

    Post by Jabroniville »

    Image
    Image

    "If I cared what you did on a weekend I'd put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes." - Stage Two

    "Immigrants! That's how they do, you know. Just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs." - Training Day

    "But if did want a grandchild i'd just scrape all your previous mishaps into a big pile and knit a onesie for it."-Skorpio


    MALORY ARCHER
    Played by:
    Jessica Walter
    Role: Secret Agent, Insatiable Sex Fiend, Domineering Mother, Domineering Boss, The Alcoholic
    Group Affiliations: ISIS
    PL 7 (79)
    STRENGTH
    0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 1
    FIGHTING 5 DEXTERITY 5
    INTELLIGENCE 3 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 1

    Skills:
    Athletics 2 (+2)
    Deception 10 (+11)
    Expertise (Secret Agent) 9 (+12)
    Expertise (Business) 3 (+6)
    Expertise (Acting) 2 (+3)
    Insight 2 (+5)
    Intimidation 5 (+6)
    Investigation 5 (+8)
    Perception 2 (+5)
    Stealth 2 (+3)

    Advantages:
    Benefit 3 (Wealth, Secret Agent Clearance), Connected, Equipment 2 (.44 Magnum), Improved Aim, Ranged Attack 3

    Equipment:
    “.44 Magnum” Blast 5 (10)

    Offense:
    Unarmed +5 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
    Magnum +8 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
    Initiative +4

    Defenses:
    Dodge +6 (DC 16), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +3, Will +5

    Complications:
    Relationship (Archer)- Malory is a stern, overbearing mother to Sterling, and insults him worse than anyone else in the office, despite the fact that they share many of the same personal issues. She basically let Woodhouse raise him, spent most of his youth either being distant or insulting (and in a few cases, absolutely cruel- such as stealing his beloved bicycle on his birthday to teach him a lesson). Despite this, she is extremely protective of him, provoking some bizarre reactions.
    Addiction (Alcohol, Pills)- Malory CONSTANTLY has a drink in her hands, and once downed a beaker of random stuff at NASA Headquarters hoping that it had alcohol in it. She also labels her pills in a way that confuses her serving staff.
    Addiction (Man-Hungry)- Malory will hit on every available male in her presence (and some that aren’t)- she has basically sexually assaulted Cyril at least twice, and has even reduced herself to having a three-way WITH PAM just to bed some elderly rich German dude. Even Rip Riley has pointed out that the woman is “impossible to satisfy”, such are her carnal desires. There is no question as to where Sterling picked up his sex-hungriness and alcoholism, at any rate.
    Fetish (Black Men)- Malory, despite being seemingly racist (calling a train bellman/porter “George”, which only BY LUCK happened to be his actual name; implying she didn’t like Sterling & Lana together because she was black), has a fetish for strong black men. She even wrote a FanFiction-version of her life where she seduces a much younger agent- a “coal-black” boy named Cassius who “had the thickly-corded muscles of a field-hand”.
    Relationships (*deep breath*...)- Malory has had sexual relationships with numerous men, usually older rich ones. The most-important being Len Trexler (head of ODIN), Nikolai Jakov (head of the KGB), and Ron Cadillac, a “boring” man she eventually married. And also she used to date Burt Reynolds.
    Motivation (Money)- ISIS is nearly-constantly in the red, and Malory has a RIDICULOUSLY high-maintenance lifestyle involving the finest apartments, alcohol, food and clothing. Thus, she is nearly constantly on the look-out for the next source of income.
    Hatred (Blacks, Gays, The Irish, Immigrants)- Malory has shown disgust for minorities, openly despises the Irish (“for not being on our side in WWII!”, and hates Ray Gillette more than anyone else at ISIS (which, remember, includes idiots like Cheryl & Pam)- calling him “Miss Gillette” and even refusing to have him rescued once.
    Allergy (Zucchini)

    Total: Abilities: 38 / Skills: 42--21 / Advantages: 10 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 10 (79)

    -A huge part of why Archer is so funny is his own mother (usually called “Mother” by our hero). Maintaining most of Archer’s bad personality traits, and including several more, Malory is a vain, egotistical (she imagines playing herself as a young field agent in a script she wrote for herself; Cyril- “You realize there is a limited amount of Vaseline IN THE WORLD, right?” *SMACK*!), sex-crazed (it’s implied no one man could satisfy her completely... growl), cruel, murderous, vindictive, alcoholic, possibly a pill-popper and in general was a horrible, distant mother to her son, whose desperate ploys for affection only drove her further away.

    -Hell, seeing Malory with the Wee Baby Seamus (supposedly Archer’s son, though he was really Cyril’s) for only a FEW MINUTES made Lana realize that “a LOT of stuff is suddenly starting to make sense”. Her nastiness towards Sterling is often frightening- as a boy, she stole his bike to teach him a lesson about leaving it out (on the night he got it, no less), AND THEN NEVER RETURNED IT. Then she taught him the SAME lesson when his beloved new car disappeared.

    -In all, Malory usually gets some of the best lines in the show, and is VERY well played by the same actress who plays the mom on Arrested Development. Malory’s insane cruelty and alcoholism are the butt of numerous jokes, as she’s generally like Archer, but without all the positive bits. Though I did like that moment they shared after she shot him, both impressed by her “grouping” (“I guess the old girl’s still got it!”), with them smiling at each other and her calling him “Ass!”. Plus she’s drawn quite attractive for what should be a woman in her sixties- her body held up remarkably-well. Maybe she takes whatever Jane Seymour’s been taking- that woman’s STILL a knock-out in a bikini in her sixties!

    -Malory is far from her Field Agent prime (where she was apparently quite good), and is noticeably lacking in most all social skills (resulting in her attempts at seduction generally failing when it’s not against aging fat guys), but still maintains a high PL thanks to her continued accuracy with her .44 Magnum Revolver. In her prime, she’d be better across the board, and probably have Attractive, given her reputation.
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