Jab’s Builds! (Miss Piggy! The Swedish Chef! Sweetums! Gonzo!)

Where in all of your character write ups will go.
Jabroniville
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Lord Snoke

Post by Jabroniville »

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LORD SNOKE
Role:
Fakeout Villain
Group Affiliations: The First Order

-Lord Snoke really ended up being... rather weird. I mean, Emperor Palpatine shows up with little explanation in the original movies, so it's not that out of line for a random guy to pop up as the mysterious Big Bad in the new movies, but... then they just kind of up and killed him off in the second, with him NEVER EVEN DOING ANYTHING COOL beforehand! It came off like a crazy Ass-Pull and Rian Johnson just going "Nah, this guy sucks- let's get rid of him", forcing Abrams to scramble in the final movie by revealing Emperor Palpatine.

-Snoke seems to have Force powers, but nothing is well-determined, and he’s easily killed by Kylo Ren when he’s not paying attention, so all his hype hits nowhere. A quick shot in The Rise of Skywalker shows a bunch of him being grown in a vat, so... he’s a test-tube monster? I guess?
Jabroniville
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Kylo Ren

Post by Jabroniville »

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The Dark Lord of the Sith with "bitch tits" from using steroids is hilarious to me.

KYLO REN (Ben Solo)
Role:
Wannabe Vader, Teenage Edgelord Neo-Nazi
Group Affiliations: The First Order
PL 10 (198)
STRENGTH
3 STAMINA 4 AGILITY 4
FIGHTING 11 DEXTERITY 5
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Deception 4 (+7)
Expertise (Military) 9 (+11)
Insight 5 (+8)
Intimidation 7 (+10)
Investigation 2 (+5)
Perception 8 (+11)
Technology 4 (+6)
Vehicles 3 (+8)

Advantages:
Accurate Attack, All-Out Attack, Benefit 4 (Leader of the First Order), Diehard, Equipment (Armor +3), Fast Grab, Fearless, Improved Critical (Lightsaber), Improved Defense, Power Attack, Quick Draw, Ranged Attack 6, Startle, Takedown 2

Powers:
"Mastery of The Force"
"Force Senses"
Senses 16 (Detect The Force- Ranged 5, Acute & Analytical; Detect Life- Ranged 5, Danger Sense, Communication Link- Rey) [17]
Enhanced Skill 2: Vehicles 2 (+10) [1]

"Force Choke" Affliction 8 (Fort; Dazed/Stunned/Incapacitated) (Feats: Accurate, Subtle, Split) (Extras: Sustained +2, Ranged) (Flaws: Distracting) (27) -- [37]
  • AE: "Jedi Laser Deflection" Deflect 12 (Extras: Multiattack, Reflect, Redirection) (Flaws: Limited to Lasers, Lightsaber-Based, Multiattack Requires Multiple Lasers -1/2) (21)
  • AE: "Use The Force" Move Object 7 (Feats: Subtle) (15)
  • AE: "Force Push" Damage 5 (Feats: Subtle) (Extras: Area- 30ft. Cone +1/2) Linked to Affliction 8 (Strength; Hindered & Vulnerable/Prone & Stunned) (Feats: Subtle) (Extras: Extra Condition, Area- 30ft. Cone +1/2) (Flaws: Limited Degree) (20.5)
  • AE: "Force Wave" Damage 5 (Feats: Subtle) (Extras: Area- 30ft. Burst) Linked to Affliction 6 (Strength; Hindered & Vulnerable/Prone & Stunned) (Feats: Subtle) (Extras: Extra Condition, Area- 30ft. Burst) (Flaws: Limited Degree) (24)
  • AE: "Force Crush" Blast 6 (Feats: Accurate, Subtle) (Extras: Penetrating) (20)
  • AE: "Jedi Mind Trick" Affliction 6 (Will; Dazed/Compelled) (Feats: Subtle) (Extras: Area- Audio Perception, Selective) (Flaws: Limited Degree) (13)
  • AE: "Stops Lasers LIKE A BOSS" Deflect 12 (12)
  • AE: "Force Communication" Communication (Mental) 3 (12)
  • AE: "Unusual Bond" Teleport 9 (Extras: Accurate, Extended) (Flaws: Limited to Objects, Limited to Towards Kylo Ren) (18)
  • AE: "Force Healing" Healing 8 (Flaws: Empathic) (8)
"Lightsaber" (Flaws: Easily Removable) (Feats: Restricted to Those Trained) [9]
Strength-Damage +6 (Extras: Penetrating 7) (13 points)

Offense:
Unarmed +11 (+3 Damage, DC 18)
Lightsaber +11 (+9 Damage, DC 26)
Force Push +5-8 Area (+5 Damage & +8 Affliction, DC 20 & 18)
Force Wave +5-6 Area (+5 Damage & +6 Affliction, DC 20 & 16)
Mind Trick +6 Area (+6 Affliction, DC 16)
Force Crush +11 (+6 Ranged Damage, DC 21)
Force Choke +11 (+6 Ranged Affliction, DC 16)
Initiative +4

Defenses:
Dodge +12 (DC 22), Parry +13 (DC 23), Toughness +4 (+7 Armor), Fortitude +6, Will +7

Complications:
Responsibility (Ennui)- Kylo Ren simply kind of DOES things, maybe because he feels like he has to. Feeling abandoned by his uncle Luke, he lashes out at everything he can think of, hero-worships Darth Vader as a family figure instead, and puts on the mask of villainy as best he can.
Relationship (Rey)- Rey and Kylo were opposed to each other at first, but have a strange "bond" that sees them communicating with one another, trying to turn the other to their own side.
Responsibility (The Dark Side)- The Dark Side is dangerously-close for all Jedi. Using the "Channel the Dark Side Powers", using Dark Side-like powers (like strangling someone with The Force, or crushing them internally), killing defeated foes or otherwise killing needlessly, and even using All-Out or Power Attack too often can lead the Jedi down a dark path. The Dark Side is "quicker, EASIER- more seductive," and the temporary boost of power can easily tempt one. Excessive use of the Dark Side will twist one's spirit, and mangle their body.

Total: Abilities: 70 / Skills: 42--21 / Advantages: 23 / Powers: 68 / Defenses: 16 (198)

-Kylo Ren is an interesting character to me, in that he went from my least-favorite thing about the new movies to one of my favorite characters, and without actually changing much. I just slowly came to realize that the things I hated about him- his goofy Andy Samberg comedy actor face, his petulant whining, his phony edgelord shit, and his Vader-Wannabe act... those were WHAT MADE HIM WORK. He's all full of outrage and hatred, but has nowhere to really direct it, so he worships the coolest, baddest motherf*cker the galaxy ever created (Darth Vader), mimicks his voice by lowering it, dresses all cool and tries to make his lightsaber look different so he stands out, etc. In short, he's a teenage Neo-Nazi- the Nazis are done, but he wants to revel in their nastiness and act like a bad-ass. His funny looks (the big nose, though attractive to women- Driver is in fact somewhat appreciated by the fairer sex- hardly makes him look intimidating, and his shirtless scene reveals his massive roid-tits and HGH bloat) actually make part of that work- it's the whole "I WANT YOU TO RESPECT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" thing. I mean, I don't know if that's how they WANTED it to come across, but that's how it is.

-Kylo Ren was revealed partway through The Force Awakens as the son of Han Solo & Princess Leia- he ran off when his Uncle Luke felt darkness in him and was prepared to finish him off before it got that far. Instead Luke stopped himself, but Ben Solo saw him ready his lightsaber and freaked out, killing the other Jedi students and leaving to fall to the Dark Side, while Luke went into exile out of shame. Becoming subserviant to the mysterious Lord Snoke, Ben changed his name (oddly not becoming "Darth ____"), took on a red lightsaber, and more, mimicking Vader and talking to his burned-up facemask. Becoming a cruel First Order operative, he killed a lot of people, but always seemed hesitant and whiny- like a scared little boy. Always teetering on the brink of reforming, he often sputtered and cried before going back to the Dark Side, finally killing his own father to "prove" himself. In the second movie, he openly attempts to court Rey, as they have a weird sexual/power dynamic going on, speaking to each other through a connection in the Force, being able to see each other, etc. Finally, he kills his own master to take control of the First Order... but in the third film, the EMPEROR reveals himself, and Kylo goes to find him, trying to wipe out any opposition to his newfound might. In the end, he falters to Rey when Leia sacrifices her own life to get him to pause in their lightsaber duel, and he finally does a heroic run-in in the final moments, giving Rey an extra lightsaber to use against Palpatine, before using the last of his energy to heal her with Force Healing.

-Kylo in the end gets that "Babyface Turn", but it never quite jibed with me. I mean, I always got the impression that he was a Reluctant Villain- kind of the inverse of the Anti-Hero- someone who was supposed to be good, but felt drawn towards evil and tried to make do, even though he sucked at it. So I guess it's a return to form for him to be a good guy, though stuff like him slaughtering his own father in cold blood kind of has to be laid aside (their heart-to-heart seems to indicate that Han doesn't really hold a grudge over it). I guess the feeling that his own mother DIED trying to get a final word to him may have helped (though she really just distracted him for the "WWE Raw Finish").

-The funny thing about Kylo is that the guy simply NEVER WINS during any of his fights in the movies! He manages to job out to Rey in her very first Jedi Battle! I think they added that bit where they "put over" Chewbacca's powerful weapon solely to justify this loss, as Chewie hits Kylo with it and therefore it "weakens" him for the Rey fight, because otherwise it's ridiculous that an experienced swordsman would lose to an amateur, no matter how much potential she had. And then it just keeps going- he cries a bunch, has loss after loss, and in the end just acts as Rey's buddy in the final battle. Therefore, his PL is decidedly unimpressive for an elite villain- he's only PL 10 overall.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Sun Jul 24, 2022 1:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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KorokoMystia
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (Baze! Chirrut Imwe! K-2SO! Rey! Rinn! Rose!)

Post by KorokoMystia »

I think something intertesting about Kylo is that he was a "Darth Vader Wannabe" both in-universe, and outside of it. He was never going to match up to Darth Vader's shadow, as much as he tried. I do think his design is neat, though, with that mask being distinct enough from Vader's despite obviously triyng to evoke it. That Cross-Guard Lightsaber is rather silly, of course, but the idea of having a crossguard isn't a bad one..just, havingi t be lightsaber blades is counterproductive.
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (Finn! Rose! Holdo! Capt. Phasma! Kylo Ren!)

Post by greycrusader »

Wow, Adam Driver really must have not have taken criticism of the lanky, fairly skinny physique he sported in the first movie well, because yeah-he's BLOATED on performance enhancing drugs in that picture. Whoever was advising him on his cycle was strictly amateur hour, because his body looked worse, not better.

And so, Kylo Ren in the actual movies is as whiny, defensive, and immature as the version parodied in Saturday Night Live's Undercover Boss: Kylo Ren of the First Order sketches?

All my best.
Jabroniville
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (Finn! Rose! Holdo! Capt. Phasma! Kylo Ren!)

Post by Jabroniville »

greycrusader wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 2:19 am Wow, Adam Driver really must have not have taken criticism of the lanky, fairly skinny physique he sported in the first movie well, because yeah-he's BLOATED on performance enhancing drugs in that picture. Whoever was advising him on his cycle was strictly amateur hour, because his body looked worse, not better.

And so, Kylo Ren in the actual movies is as whiny, defensive, and immature as the version parodied in Saturday Night Live's Undercover Boss: Kylo Ren of the First Order sketches?

All my best.
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Jabroniville
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Knights of Ren/Praetorians

Post by Jabroniville »

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"Look at how awesome we all look! Surely we won't just be disposable jobbers!"

THE PRAETORIAN GUARD/THE KNIGHTS OF REN
Role:
Elite Mooks, Jobbers
Group Affiliations: The First Order

-Hilariously, these guys were given bad-ass uniforms (the Guard like the Crimson Guard but with MOAR ARMOR and cooler glow-y weapons; the Knights like alternate Kylo Ren designs... which is what they're made of), yet their only on-screen fights featuring them being easily killed by Rey & Kylo. The Praetorian Guard protect Lord Snoke, but when he's killed like a putz, they freak out and attack Kylo, who is defended by Rey, and both ultimately mow down the Guard, despite their gear supposedly being set to help them fight Force-Users. Then, in the third movie, the Knights of Ren follow Kylo around... and are easily slaughtered when he turns good and helps Rey.

-Both groups are likely about PL 6 across the board, not being worth any more than that.
Jabroniville
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Solo

Post by Jabroniville »

SOLO- A Star Wars Story:
-The new Star Wars mega-franchise's rate of success for the spin-offs pretty well ended at one. The popularity of Rogue One seemed to set off a huge storm of talk for side-stories set all over the universe, including many prequels set between films. Unfortunately, the very next one proved to be a huge failure that lost respect and even LOST MONEY, which was unheard of for a Star Wars movie. Some haters of the Sequel Trilogy immediately declared their boycotts the reason why and used the film as proof of their correctness, while others blamed the pointlessness of this movie, and how nobody felt that they needed to see a movie about Han Solo's origins. I couldn't tell you how good it was, because I didn't bother to see it.

Summing up the plot from Wikipedia (NO WAY am I trying to edit Wookieepedia's massive description), it features Han and his girlfriend Qi'ra escaping from a local gang on Corellia, but she is captured before they get off-world. Han joins the Imperial Flight Academy as a means to come back for her, but is expelled for insubordination, and ends up meeting Chewbacca for the first time when they're thrown in a pit together. A crook named Tobias Beckett (played by Woody Harrelson) takes them on as subordinates. Various disasters occur and it turns out that Beckett's employers, the Crimson Dawn, include Qi'ra among their number. She joins them on their mission, which involves Lando Calrissian and his Millennium Falcon- Lando's droid is killed, but Han pilots the Falcon through the "uncharted Kessel Run", thus explaining that famous part of Han's braggadocio in the Original Trilogy (where he boasts that he made the "Kessel Run in twelve parsecs", which is a unit of distance, not time- given that it was worded like it was time, it was likely a writing error, but people have been obsessing over it ever since).

After all this, Lando abandons everyone, and Han becomes sympathetic to the "terrorists" who fight the Imperials, but Beckett & the crimelord Vos turn on Han & Co. Qi'ra kills Vos and takes command of his syndicate, and reveals that her boss is DARTH MAUL, whom fans who didn't watch the TV shows wouldn't even know is alive. Han kills Beckett and wins the Falcon from Lando, but is left by Qi'ra forever.

The movie... was not well-liked. People respected Donald Glover's Lando, I think, but generally didn't care to see someone who wasn't Harrison Ford play Han Solo. People seemed to like the new Star Trek cast of replacements okay, so it's not necessarily that nerds just hate new actors, but this nobody (who the hell is ALDEN EHRENREICH?) just didn't have it, I guess. The movie had a famously laborious filming, with Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (the creators of Clone High! Oh, and also Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs and The LEGO Movie) being replaced by Ron Howard of all people, who was expected to rescue it.
Ron Howard Voice wrote:He didn't.
Note: I'll be doing mini-bios for this, but not statting anybody.
Shock
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (Finn! Rose! Holdo! Capt. Phasma! Kylo Ren!)

Post by Shock »

After Snoke was killed, I was hoping to see Kylo Ren become the main bad guy. It wouldn't have precluded his redemption in the end and it would have been far more interesting (to me) than Palpatine coming back and replaying 2/3s of the final act of Return of the Jedi.
Jabroniville
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Qi’ra

Post by Jabroniville »

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Seriously, she could effortlessly play superheroes who are unrecognizable in their secret identity.

QI'RA
Role:
Childhood Girlfriend
Group Affiliations: The Crimson Dawn

-Qi'ra, Han's childhood gal-pal, was played by the currently famous, but horrible actress, Emilia Clarke, who was on the biggest show in the world (Game of Thrones), then had two attempts at jumpstarting a film career. Neither have really "taken", partially because she's one of those odd people who can't be recognized without her wig (she's stated that she's had people fail to recognize her while hanging out with the rest of the cast of the show). And also because she sucks. Her overwrought acting, overly-manic face, and more, are probably gonna wipe her out in a world where there's only one or two major actresses active at once, and Hollywood Producers conspire to ensure there's already replacements in the wings once the next ones hit thirty (witness Anne Hathaway being dumped unceremoniously while Jennifer Lawrence got pushed, and now she's donezo because Emma Stone finally "took". Soairse whatever will soon take over for her in 3-4 years).

-ANYWAYS, they were wise to cast her while she was still relevant. Qi'ra was Han's girlfriend, but was captured before they could escape- he promised to return for her, but by the time he ended up back on Corellia, she was a member of Dryden Vos's gang, and had to do God knows what to survive. I guess her leaving Han and becoming the new Crimson Dawn leader was meant to be one of the things that made him the dry cynic we know and love from the Star Wars Trilogy.
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Ares
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (Finn! Rose! Holdo! Capt. Phasma! Kylo Ren!)

Post by Ares »

Regarding Kylo Ren and Snoke . . . there isn't really much to say about them, really.

Snoke is a complete fart of a character. He exists, he moves things along, but there's nothing to him. He exists solely to give the First Order an Emperor-like figure, but he lacks the build up and menace the Emperor got. Also, since he's following the Emperor he needs to be established in some way, but never is. It's oddly appropriate that he's ultimately revealed to basically have been some cloned meat puppet Palpatine was apparently using, because all he ever was WAS an inferior Palpatine clone.

Kylo Ren is someone that the film wants us to believe is this poor, tortured soul, one who was trying to find some meaning in his life and kept being let down by his father figures, until he ultimately redeems himself. What Kylo winds up being is someone with no consistency to what he does. Like Snoke, he more or less just exists to keep the plot moving and to explain things. Why are Han and Leia not together? Kylo went bad. Why is Luke not teaching an army of Jedi? Kylo went bad. Why does Rey wind up with the heroes? Kylo was chasing her. Why is the Resistance ship slow enough that it can't outrun the First Order? Kylo damaged it.

Which is a shame because Adam Driver is probably the best actor in the new cast by a mile. He works his but off to convey the conflicted emotions the writers want Kylo to have, and his scenes with Han are actually very touching. And he's likable when Kylo is allowed to be funny. But the script just wants too many different things from the character and he just winds up this inconsistent mess.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
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Jabroniville
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Tobias Beckett

Post by Jabroniville »

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TOBIAS BECKETT
Role:
Gang Leader
Group Affiliations: Criminal Gangs

-Based off of Long John Silver and other charismatic, but amoral, pirates, Tobias has a pretty oddly "regular person name" for the Star Wars universe, and was played by Woody Harrelson, who typically plays rambunctious, oddball Southerners these days. He's a crook, and leads a gang of thieves who work on behalf of Dryden Vos, but ultimately betrays his new recruits Han & Chewie to Vos. In the end, both Vos & Beckett are killed, Han shooting Beckett, who congratulates him on his tactics, stating he would have shot Han otherwise. Han ends up keeping Beckett's gun, which of course is Han's iconic blaster.
Jabroniville
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Dryden Vos

Post by Jabroniville »

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Now how did this movie fail, with iconic character designs such as these?

DRYDEN VOS
Role:
Gang Leader
Group Affiliations: The Crimson Dawn

-Dryden Vos is the "man of wealth & taste" gang leader in charge of Qi'ra, Tobias, and other characters, and plans on having Han & Chewie killed, but is ultimately slain by his own subordinate, Qi'ra, who takes over his group. He was initially played by another actor, who was replaced when he was unable to return to set for Ron Howard's re-shoots- he was therefore turned from a motion-captured alien into a near-human alien with scars. The character was described as being like Leo from the 1981 film Thief, Don Draper from Mad Men, and Tom Hagen from The Godfather movies... which kind of implies the writing of this film was a bit of a mess, as all those chracters are different and it's like they just went "Um, given him the traits of characters in movies we like".
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Ares
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Re: Jab’s Builds! (Finn! Rose! Holdo! Capt. Phasma! Kylo Ren!)

Post by Ares »

Also, maybe it was just the way some folks said it, but every time I heard "Exogal" in Rise of Skywalker, it kept sounding like "Testicle". So it was at least kind of funny to keep imagining everyone was looking for a way to get to Testicle, that the Emperor was on Testicle, and it made the scene where the Star Destroyers rise up from Testicle even more phallic.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
- Captain Marvel SHAZAM! : Power of Hope (2000)

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Jabroniville
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L3-37

Post by Jabroniville »

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L3-37
Role:
Sexy Fembot, Uprising-Causer
Group Affiliations: N/A

-Unusually, Solo introduced a female-voiced Droid named L3-37, who was super-close with her boss, Lando Calrissian. Like, SUPER CLOSE. Apparently the Droid upgraded itself repeatedly until it ended up taking a female persona and acting as a droid rabble-rouser, and she's seen in the movie fomenting a couple of droid revolts, resenting their status as slaves and property. She is ultimately shot and killed in the gang's escape, with a mourning Lando placing her personality stuff into the Millennium Falcon itself, retroactively turning it into a "character" in the franchise- the L3/Falcon merging creates the "peculiar dialect" that C-3PO recognizes in The Empire Strikes Back.
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Arkrite
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Re: Knights of Ren/Praetorians

Post by Arkrite »

Jabroniville wrote: Sun Feb 23, 2020 5:24 am THE PRAETORIAN GUARD
Remember, if you're using the Praetorian Guard they should have the ability to make their own weapons fade out of existance, and their attack modifier should be so low that they'll hold their own attacks to avoid smacking the actors... errr, the heroes in the head. ;~)

Everybody mentions how the fight scene is one of the better parts of the Last Jedi, but it's funny how much it falls apart if you watch it a second or third time and pay attention to what they're doing.
One guy gets an arm around Rey and his knife in his free hand? It disappears because otherwise he could just stab her repeatedly in the back and the movie would be over ;~)

Also there are few points where you can tell the actors missed their timing and the stuntmen had to change their swings to avoid hurting the actors.

Still, it's fun to watch if you get stuck watching the movie again.
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