A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

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Arkrite
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A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

Post by Arkrite »

Once upon a time there was a little cartoon show called He-Man.
It was hokey, it was cheesy, it was beloved, and honestly it was entertaining.

Over the years there were a few remakes and revisions, a movie that's terrible but fun to watch because it's terrible, one TV series in the 2000's that was pretty good, and another I missed entirely which looked a little goofy.

Then Kevin Smith comes along saying that as a big He-Man fan (He's not, and admitted as much on TV years earlier), that he's doing a continuation of the series (turns out it's not, they don't have the rights), focusing on He-Man.
Early rumors came out that it wasn't really a He-Man cartoon but a show focusing on Teela, with He-Man getting pushed out of the show early on so that Teela could run around with her new black girlfriend.

Kevin Smith came out and blasted the rumors, which made it all the sadder when it turns out that... it's true.

So I shook my head and walked away content to just hear other people's reviews on it.

And then somebody, who shall remain nameless, kept saying things like "How can you be sure if you don't give it a shot?" and "Why would you just believe the reviews other people puts up?"

So, I guess we're all here to suffer a bit.

Here's a Grumpy Old man's stream of consciousness watching the first two episodes of Masters of Universe Revelations.
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Arkrite
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Re: A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

Post by Arkrite »

First episode.
We start with a bunch of images of the original He-Man designs trying to explain what had been happening up to this point.
Hey kids, remember nostalgia? Remember the good times?

The show proper starts and- Good grief. We get multiple people talking about how great Teela is. This would have been a better time to start showing us how great she is in an action based cartoon for boys, but I guess we'll just talk about it.
A lot.
Over the course of the entire episode.

They tease us with events at the castle where Teela is taking over as the new Man-At-Arms. Man-At-Arms is a title given to the head of their forces, if I remember correctly, so that's fine. It's not a "I'm Thor now" moment.
Unless Teela starts calling herself Duncan. Then all bets are off.
Orko sets up the only laugh I got this episode, accidentally locking Cringer in a bubble to block out the scary sounds of the fireworks, but also blocks out oxygen by accident. And he can't undo the spell.
"Does anybody have the power to help me?" -Okro
::Needle pops the bubble around Cringer::
"I have the power." -Prince Adam

Yup, that's just baiting the old fans, but it made me smile.

Meanwhile just outside Castle Greyskull the Sorceress is greeting He-Man who rides in on a robot horse with two prisoners.
The first sign that something is off is that he's on the horse (This sequence is intercut with the celebration so Adam isn't shown until a ways into this scene, but trying to jump back and forth in the review while commenting is just confusing).
But as I started thinking about it I started wondering more and more. Why is He-Man taking these prisoners to Grey Skull?
Why doesn't the Sorceress notices that He-Man isn't talking to her?
Why doesn't she try talking to him with her psychic powers?
Why does she lower the drawbridge when she can (and does) just fly out? Why would she lower the drawbridge when she knows it's a trap?
Surprise, the prisoner is Skeletor who gloats about the suprise and tries to attack the Sorceress, who blasts him and gloats about how she'd already seen through his ruse!
Only to be grabbed by fake He-Man.

... So she didn't see through the fake He-Man.

I know this is supposed to be gripping, but I just wondered how dumb the Sorceress is to fall into this trap. Anyways, she breaks free but facing off against Skeletor, Evillyn and Faker (robot He-Man) is a bit much for her, so it is time to call the cavalry.

So she psychically calls her champion for help. *sigh*

Prince Adam interrupts Teela's ceremony by letting Duncan know the emergency call has been put out.
The heroes all rush off while Adam remains behind to "escort the guests to safety".
Surprise, the Queen seems to have figured out that Prince Adam is He-Man based on the looks she's shooting him, but says nothing.

They got to Castle Greyskull, He-Man arrives in time to save Teela from Skeletor, then he accidentally unlocks the "Source of all Magic" by stabbing Skeletor who standing in front of the lock to the "Source of all Magic".

He-Man, who's never stabbed anybody, and has actively saved bad guys before. Hm.

Apparently it wasn't metal enough for Kevin Smith, so apparently how we have stabbing. Because that's cool and adult.

And then Skeletor manages to somehow break the source of all magic. I guess getting stabbed by the most powerful person in existence isn't all that bad. Just kind of walk it off, rub some dirt on it.
Anyways the Sorceress freezes time so we can have our last talk without the bad anime "something bad is happening, lets talk for five minutes while it's happening" moment.

Basically the destruction of the source of all magic will destroy the entire planet.

He-Man is told how to stop it, but that it will kill him. But as Eternia would be destroyed if he didn't? He doesn't even hesitate. The power sword is pulled apart into two swords, he transforms back to Adam long enough to give Teela a sad over the shoulder glance and then: Poof.

Skeletor? Gone. Adam? Gone. Source of all Magic? Gone. My hopes and dreams? Gone.

So they go back to the castle to tell the King that He-Man is dead.
And the King sounds like somebody told him he couldn't have a ham sandwich. "A shame, but at least he's in heaven getting his reward."
Almost sounds bored.

Then the Queen drops the bomb that He-Man is Adam. The King somebody clues in that Duncan knew about it and after decades of service the King banishes his most loyal soldier from his kingdom forever. And he orders Teela to remove him.

Wasn't the King one of the greatest leaders ever in the other series? In the 2002 series he's basically the best king/leader ever and wouldn't have done that.
Just feels out of character.
Much like a nasty jab he does to Adam earlier at Teela's party about how he would love to feel "parental pride" like Duncan did for Teela.

And up to this point it was... well, it wasn't great, it was okay at best, but this next part was just poorly planned.
Teela gets mad at everybody for knowing Adam's secret, accuses everybody of being liars, and refuses to work for anybody anymore.
She turns her back on her father, the kingdom, and all the people just because nobody told her Adam was He-Man.
Duncan even declares it was Adam's royal order that prevented him from sharing it.
But, no. No love or understanding for her father. And she drops this holier than thou mic-drop moment in front of two grieving parents who lost their son.

Strangely this doesn't get her exiled by the angry king. The one who just exiled one of his closest followers for far less.

You'd figure, if anything, she'd feel a closer bond to them as they were facing the same loss.

*sigh*
Adam's voice actor was much better than I thought.
Skeletor was hard to peg. I love Mark Hamill but that voice is the Joker from Batman The Animated Series, so it was distracting.
Sarah Michelle Geller as Teela was, uh, there. It wasn't a very engaging performance.

The animation was pretty good, but who in their right mind decided that Adam needed a Sailor Moon transformation sequence? Like with the same nude outline with rainbow energy floating inside as the costume appears effects.
And while I'm happy to say that Adam and Teela don't look quite as bad as the still pictures seemed to indicate, I'm really not happy with either design.
Adam looks too effeminate, and his clothes are a little lack luster and baggy. Teela's costume just doesn't work. And why is she so dark skinned all the sudden? It kind of looks like she spent too much time in the tanning beds.

Out of 10 I'd probably give it a 5. Not great, not horrible. I'm basically giving it a pass.
But nothing has jumped out at me enough to make me want to go back and rewatch this episode.
But first episodes aren't always the best, so who can say.
This one felt way too rushed, feels like they should have spent a few episodes (or a season) setting up the show to get to this point.

It's funny how Kevin Smith said that He-Man wasn't going to be sidelined and that this series wasn't going to follow Teela. First episode, we lose He-Man, and it looks like it's going to be following Teela.
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Arkrite
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Re: A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

Post by Arkrite »

Episode two starts.

We're building up a big reveal here, so apparently we don't get to see or hear from Teela until she pulls off her gas mask. It's like a full minute or so of us going "we know it's Teela" and Kevin Smith going "No you don't".
They're hunting down a magic glove using a tracking device and find Stinkor, voiced by Jason Mews. I've probably already spent more time typing that sentence than his character spends in the show.

Andra, who's loving referred to as Tokandra online, gives us a few lines to let us know she's the sassy one.
For those who don't know, Andra is a white girl with blonde or strawberry blonde hair who appeared in a comic once. The show creators were adamant that the fans wouldn't accept a new black character into the show... so they picked a character almost nobody knows and race swapped her instead.

*facepalm*

Teela really does look like a dude until you see her hair, even then, yeesh. This redesign isn't doing her any favors.

"Did you know this guy?" -Andra
"In my old life." -Teela, pulls off mask to reveal her new "empowering" haircut.
As opposed to you new life as a butch lesbian?
Just saying, this should have been a big moment but, uh... yeah. Up until this point there is no indication that there's been a time jump of any kind, so is this the next day, next week, next year?

They steal back a glove that a church has been using as a holy symbol.
"Without the glove of Globulah our followers felt empty and broken." -Priestess
Huh... funny how if you change that to He-Man... *cough* *cough* Moving on.

Andra responds with... "No glove, no love"
Uh. Wow, that sounds out of place for this setting. Like somebody is trying to remind us of their earlier edgier better old works.

And I already see why people say that Teela and Andra are overtly hinting at being in a relationship. Teela introduces Andra as an engineer and the look she shoots her would look perfectly in place for a romance novel.

Anyways, a little old lady, who looks like an old fat Evillyn, and sounds like Evillyn, asks them to retrieve a goblet from Snake Mountain. Then throws a bunch of gems at their feet, because Evillyn hands nothing to no man!
Err, woman!
I kid, but still that's a very villain move, why in the world would they do that?
And Teela, who's been overly proud up to this point in the series, has no issues picking it up off the ground without a word and she's all in to attack Snake Mountain.

Andra points out that attacking THE Snake Mountain is a terrible idea and asks if she's insane.
Teela responds that she's just "experienced".
Okay, I get it, she'd have had multiple attacks on the mountain, probably know her way in, but in all of the other series so far most of the baddies have been an even match for her. In fact in most series they had problems beating Skeletor's men without better odds or the appearance of a superhuman hero.

Why do I think she's going to walk through the bad guys like they don't exist?

So we get to Snake Mountain, which is now next to, what Goat Mountain? Gryphon mountain? Well, there's another animal based mountain right next to it. Where did that comes from?
Figures, turn around and there's another evil neighbor building another evil high-rise mountain of doom right on your doorstep.

We get a cheesy flashback to He-Man and Teela attacking the mountain together. It's cheesy, but I already know I'd rather watch that one. They're happy, working together, and it seems fun.

Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity. Apparently the door is set to explode if anybody breathes on it. I assume they're just going to throw a rock at it from safety and walk in the smoking crater.
Nope, Teela's plan is to jump into the pit trap (Why does Skeletor have a net to catch people over a trap door that overlooks lava?) and DIG her way into the MOUNTAIN.

... Maybe I'm weird, but from what I remember most mountains are made of solid rock.
This sounds like a He-Man solution, except He-Man is ludicrously strong so it's a viable option.
Teela with a extendable tech shovel seems like a bit of a stretch.

So they dug their way in. Way to prove me wrong, Teela.

Now Snake Mountain looks less like a creepy mountain headquarters to an evil sorcerer and more like an oil rig/industrial building you'd expect from most sci-fi series or action movies.

Apparently an evil cyborg cult now lives there.

And Tri-Klops is the pope! Oh god, he's even got a stupid hat!
So for all my joking it is a cult, they drink black sludge with LED lights from a goblet and turn into cyborg men on the spot. Thankfully nobody decided to just add that to the local water supply.

So this older man and his five to seven year old daughter show up surrounded by Tri-Klops goons and... they're happy to be there?

It's weird, if this was any other series we'd see the father and daughter forced in, ordered to drink the goo, and saved at the last second by our heroes.

In this one? They came on their own, they're happy to be there, the heroes watch him chug back the goo and then... body horror time as he turns half robot and his eye extends out of his face. The giant saw popping out of his arm followed by a smile made me laugh. Sounds like a stereotypically man response.
"Oh god, my entire body is in agony, my eye is coming out of my face, my left arm is a robot and a giant circular saw just popped out of it and... hey, that last bit is cool!"

Another baiting moment appears when Teela holds Andra's hand to comfort her/keep her from acting. Hand on the arm or the shoulder would have worked. Grabbing somebody's hand just seems a little more intimate to me.

And apparently to my wife.

Hmm..

Trap Jaw and Tri-Klops designs could have used some work here. Sadly I doubt we'll be seeing them much after the next few minutes.

Teela tells Andra to use the distraction she's about to make to steal the goblet they were hired to steal.

Oh god, Trap Jaw opens his mouth and sounds like... a Sherlock Holmes villain.
"How dare you sully the sanctity of skull mountain!"
I don't remember him having that polished of speech. Or that accent.

And let the fight begin after a little too much posturing from Teela and weird culty religious talk from Tri-Klops. So we begin this battle with... faceless minions.
Not what I was hoping for, but okay. Then they sic the newest creation on her an... she chops his bloody arm off with her staff.
Wait, her staff? Ah, rewind reveals that the extendo staff, which is also a shovel, has an extendo sword option.

Honestly it's the most reasonable thing I've seen so far, so I'm going with it.

Her chopping a man's arm off is a little questionable, but hey, it's just the arm that turned into a robot arm. Right?

So she chops him in the... wait, no, now it's a staff again. She clubs him into unconsciousness then fights a giant robot man who seems to be immune to being pummeled with a stick.
If only she had easy access to some kind of a sharp weapon which we know can cut through metal.

Oh well, she tricks an opponent into hitting him once, at which point the robot needs to shut itself off as it seems to be about to self destruct.
Huh, that's lucky.


So Teela finally realizes that the little girl is there and is all like "Don't worry, I'll save you".
I'm thinking "yeah, because the little girl will want to go with the woman who dismembered her dad before concussing him."

Meanwhile little girl is ominously not facing the camera? Why? Well, obviously she drank the black goo as well.
And holy crap, she goes full Exorcist, turning her head all the way around to give Teela the anime psycho smile.
It sounds better than the anime rape smile, which is probably a more accurate description.
I burst out laughing at this.
I'm not sure that's what they're going for, but I laughed my ass off at this ridiculous expression as the little girls arms turn into pretty shoddy looking cannons.
Whoops, did I say cannons? Apparently they're metal tentacle launchers.
Uh... I regret mentioning the anime rape smile earlier now.

Can we please go back to the happy stuff with He-Man?

So the Dad sees his little girl under attack and does the reasonable thing, he attacks Teela.
Well, honestly it looks like he attempts to cop a feel on her armor and Teela just faints from sheer shock of it. Then she's completely unable to outwrestle a one armed man half her size, in spite of her massive arms and his tiny arm, who's only holding one of her arms and he uses his telescoping eye to choke her to the point of unconsciousness.
But don't worry, at this point Andra, who's supposed to have been doing stuff, returns just in time to... murder the father.

And then Teela throws his dead body at the little girl.

What the hell, hero?!?!

And, no, I didn't make that one up. I mean, he might be alive... but... uh... yeah, no, he looks pretty dead.

Andra mugs for the camera long enough to get jumped by the offline robot, who is apparently online again. And she then runs right into Trap Jaw. He knocks her flying over towards the dismembered robot arm with the saw in it.
She takes this, as she apparently had no other weapon, and attempts to thrust it hand first into Trap Jaw's face.

Not how I would have used a blunt object. Trap Jaw immediately bites down on it and starts eating because *that's what he does*. So of course Andra immediately knows how to rewire the arm to activate the saw, which pops out and...
Did she just murder Trap Jaw? They cut away and don't show his face.

And after all this she finally gets the goblet. Dear god, did Andra do nothing the entire time the distraction was going on?
I had assumed she'd already bagged it, but no, after killing Trap Jaw she runs over to the pedestal it's sitting on, grabs it and dashes off like the proudest shop lifter ever.

Teela does the arm grab spin my ally kick from He-Man flashback earlier in this episode (better times), knocking the robot down. He goes back to having a self destruct issue, attempts to turn himself off using the panel on his chest again but this time Andra's throwing star stops him.
Pretty sure he could have worked around it, it's only stuck in one of the buttons and he could just reach around... but okay. I guess he's doomed now.

After murdering the robot our sheroes run for it. Apparently Teela doesn't know this place as well as she said, leads them to an area where their only choice is swinging down.
So Andra throws her arms around Teela's neck, snuggles her face against her neck and closes her eyes... have I mentioned the baiting? These guys are masters at it.

Seriously the entire swing was pulled from the old fantasy stuff where the hero swings to safety with the damsel clinging to him.
Hell, Andra even takes her time letting go afterwards.

The cultist designs here are probably the worst thing I've seen so far. They look goofy with the floating eyes in the dark and the giant robes hiding their hands thing going on.

Thankfully the cultists who live in Snake Mountain are too dumb to remember that there's a kraken living in the poison pools at the bottom of the mountain so when Teela throws a throwing star in the water they're promptly murdered by giant tentacles.

So many tentacles in this episode.

Pope Tri-Klops glares, then swaps from his triangular eye to his circular eye so he can glare a bit more.
... You get the feeling they forgot to do anything with the guy and decided they needed to show off that they remembered the guy can swap eyes at the last minute?
Also based on the different views of the character he's got at least four eyes instead of three. You can often make out where the three are when he's facing forward, and then from behind there is also one pointing directly behind him.
Whoops.

So Teela and Andra return to the church where they are surprised by the fat old lady they were looking for.
They get paid, and try to leave.
The Fat Old Lady, who is totally not Evillyn, tries to tempt them with another job. This time at Castle Greyskull.
Teela's having none of it, going into a speech about why they always failed before.
"When you go looking for it there's always something to blindly fight against." Teela declares dramatically.

Okay, cool, but what the hell are you talking about? I mean, it sounds dramatic and meaningful, but I can't figure out what she's referring to, so it's kind of a nonsense line built to sound dramatic with no real substance behind it.

"But what were we ever really fighting for?"

Uh... the safety and freedom of the people of Eternia? To stop evil from taking over and crushing everything under their heels?

"Stories? Lies? I prefer something more tangible." Teels gives Andra a SIGNIFICANT look.

Andra smiles at this.

So Keven smith swore up and down that Teela and Andra aren't gay lovers. But this show seems to disagree and is gay baiting as hard as it can without actually having to decide one way or another.

*Eye roll*

Wouldn't want to offend anybody.

Teela doesn't want the job. Andra is willing to acknowledge that Evilly-err, the fat old lady is suspect as all hell and wants to keep an eye on her, saying "I know you're not a hero any more but maybe this is my chance to do something meaningful"

And Teela's like "You mean something just by being you. Adventures? Being a hero? It swallows you whole."

... This show should have had a first season to give us this loss that Teela keeps talking about. Honestly the only thing she lost by being a hero was Adam who would have died anyways. Everything else she lost was by her own choice, so again the speech sounds dramatic but lacks any substance.

Teela decides to go along, throwing her arm over Anda's shoulders.
Okay, that's not too suggestive.
Then turns her body towards her own and brings he head in close to Andras before saying "if you're in I'm in".

... Bait, bait, bait, bait, bait.

They go back to castle Greyskull, which... looks like a generic if dilapidated crystal castle now. There is nothing of the old Greyskull design at all.

Teela's all sad because the last time she was here was when Adam died.
Andra gives her the smuggest smile I've seen in a long time.

I'm pretty sure they didn't mean it to look that way, but the animators probably need to work on their expressions...

They go inside and the fat old lady finds the old looking sorceress and makes some comments about how she had all this magic and beauty around her while everybody else had to get by with the dregs that remain.
Uh... the castle is in shambles, the sorceress has aged significantly, the place is full of dead plants, and the only magic in sight is this tiny little light that the sorceress is holding in her hands. Like the flame of a candle.

Teela's like "What's your plan Evil-Lynn!!!!"
**GAAAASSSSPP** That fat old lady was Evillyn? I had no idea!
Yawn.


The fat old lady turns into a buff as fuck Evillyn.
Seriously, none of these characters ever looked this ripped. I've seen male body builders who don't have arms that big.

Anyways apparently the goblet was Skeletor's havoc staff, except just the skull of it.

Evillyn laughs evilly and shoves the skull into the Sorceress's magic flame causing something to happen. Teela gets mad and attempt to throw her extendo staff, which is now an extendo spear, at Evillyn.

It's stopped by... Cringer?
Uh... Cringer was brave enough to stop a spear thrown by a man Teela's size? That's... Okay, I'll be honest, that's not the hardest thing to believe so far.
And then he starts talking.
I've been watching a lot of the 200X version so I kind of forgot that Cringer could talk. Whoops!

Anyways, turns out the Sorceress asked Evillyn to do this. They collected the Havok staff to drain it's power to maintain "the last spark of magic in Eternia" which will be the end of all magic if it disappears.
So Evillyn mugging was just to piss off Teela for no reason?
The Sorceress then gives it to Evillyn, noting that she doesn't trust Evillyn, but their interests in keeping magic in eEernia are the same.

Then the magic goes into Evillyn's staff and it turns out that the Sorceress was using magic for clothes. Apparently she just puts on a shift every morning then magics some kind of magic clothes on top.

I know that the Sorceress is supposed to be old because "magic is gone" but isn't she hundreds of years old? If magic being gone caused her to age, shouldn't she be dead?

Eh, I'm putting too much thought into this. Clearly nobody else did.

Cringer points out that everybody needs to work together to save Eternia. Evillyn agrees then makes a magic hologram to show what she's talking about.

... Uh, buddy? That's the last dregs of magic you've got there, you really sure you want to waste it for visual effects?!

So apparently Eternia is connected to the vastness of everything, but the magic arrived on the planet through He-Man's sword, which was destroyed when He-Man turned it into two swords to prevent magic from destroying the planet.
So in saving the world he doomed it.

But, hey, at least he bought them some time to do something about it.

Man. Hell of a way to undercut a person sacrificing their life.

Oh, wait, apparently if Eternia dies without magic, the entire universe goes with it.
So... He-Man destroyed all of existence by saving Eternia? I don't know, I'm honestly having more fun thinking about the plot holes than watching the show at this point.

So apparently the swords absorbed all the power from the explosion then went where they were forged, basically heaven and hell. I don't know why they'd do that, but hey, story time.
So basically they need to find both swords by... going to heaven and hell? Sheesh. Then reforge the power sword by using the last embers of magic in eternia. After which they can call on the power of Greyskull to get magic running again.

Magic is like a computer. It's about to explode? Have you tried turning it off an on again?

So of course after being told that the entire universe is going to die, I repeat ALL life in the universe is going to die if they don't do this, Teela goes into a speech about how she doesn't want this. She built, and I quote "A life of truth-- away from magic. And now you want me to save magic?"

We want. You. To save. The entire. UNIVIVERSE!
You self absorbed little snot! The only lies in Teela's entire life is that she didn't know that Adam was He-Man, or that the Sorceress was her mother. There are no other lies.
And what's worse is neither of them actually said they weren't those things, she never thought to ask.
Why is she so bent out of shape about this?
You think she would have been proud to know that her friend, Adam, wasn't a cowardly little wimp but the greatest hero of the world who saved her life multiple times.

Instead here she is complaining about how saving all life, including her own, isn't something she wants to do.

"Let this crumbling castle keep it's dead, and let all their selfish secrets die with them."

Uh... Ms. Potts, the kettle has issues with you calling her black...

And Cringer tries to give a meaningful speech about how Teela's not mad, but scared because Adam trusted Teela with all of this and Teela's afraid of letting him down.

Hey, that sounds like a much better story than what we're getting here, can we do that one instead?

Cringer implies that Adam was only willing to sacrifice himself because he knew Teela would be around to protect Eternia.

HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh man.

Wait, are you serious?

No, Adam sacrificed himself to save most, if not all, life on the planet. I'm sure he would have done that regardless because Adam is a selfless person who puts other people before himself.

This is really just Cringer telling Teela what she needs to hear to put on her big girl pants and save *All Life In The Universe*.

But hey, it works.

And Teela's girlfrien- err, I mean partner- err, I mean business partner sneaks over to listen in (even though nobody is whispering) and is super excited to go to hell to get a sword.
...
Teela? Your girlfriend is insane.

Teela then declares that the only thing left is to get the best weapon master on the planet to reforge the sword.

Smashcut to some hut in the wilderness where Man-At-Arms/Duncan is looking... an awful lot like Luke Skywalker from the most recent Star Wars movies.

And that's episode two.

Ugh.

So in spite of being told that this isn't the Teela show, this is now the Teela show. Andra is... there? I have no opinions on her character as she doesn't really have one yet?
Basically that seems to be the problems with all the characters right now. Evillyn hasn't had time to really give you a feel for her (beyond being cliched in everything she does), and Teela's just coming across as a giant self entitled bratty whiner.

Insanely huge whiner.


Again, I think they needed a stronger voice actor to be in Teela's role.
I loved Buffy growing up, but it's been a long time since Sarah Michelle Gellar was an actress and sometimes voice acting can be a lot harder than acting on screen.

I did have a lot of fun with this episode, but it's because I was sitting here pulling it apart at the seams. This was actually a pretty terrible episode.
I'll give it a 3 out of 10.

Story makes no sense, the characters aren't really likable, and it's really isn't an action adventure fest like one would hope.

Still, I have seen a lot worse. But that doesn't mean this is better, it just means it's not the worst.
Hmm.




Actually it gets worse the longer I think about it. So magic comes into the world via He-Man's swords, which didn't always exist, but apparently magic has always been in Eternia?
And if the magic comes in via the swords then what was the Source Of All Magic that Skeletor destroyed last episode?
Do we need to reforge one of those as well?



Yeah, no, two episodes in and I haven't seen anything worth continuing. If anything all the reviews I've seen have been pretty dead on accurate.
I don't have any urge to continue punishing myself with this series, which is a shame because we haven't even got to the worst parts of the series yet, if what I've heard can be believed. And it can.

If you're getting the urge to see some halfway decent He-Man, may I suggest watching the 2000 series? It's a little cheesy, but at least they're trying.
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Re: A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

Post by NoOneofConsequence »

Mark Hamill can really only do two voices: His own and the Joker voice he has used for every single thing he's done (Hobgoblin, Trickster, TMNT, this).

Even as a kid, I always assumed Teela's logical destiny was to become the next Sorceress.
What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly. That is the first law of nature.
Voltaire, "Tolerance" (1764)
greycrusader
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Re: A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

Post by greycrusader »

The recent limited series with the He-Men of the Multiverse facing off against the evil He-Man of Hellskull was actually pretty good, so there's that.

All my best.
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Arkrite
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Re: A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

Post by Arkrite »

NoOneofConsequence wrote: Wed Sep 01, 2021 3:01 am Even as a kid, I always assumed Teela's logical destiny was to become the next Sorceress.
Funny enough there are currently some rumors that Revelations ends with Andra being the new He-Man, and Teela becoming the new Sorceress.

I'm hoping that first part is just crazy talk, but a lot of people are expecting Teela to take over her mother's role.

Me? I'd rather her just get some magical powers to step her up and notch and make her a de-facto partner for He-Man.
But that's probably because I had a crush on the Sorceress when I was a kid and I don't want to replace her ;~)

Her and She-Ra.
Rar :lol:
greycrusader wrote: Wed Sep 01, 2021 3:11 am The recent limited series with the He-Men of the Multiverse facing off against the evil He-Man of Hellskull was actually pretty good, so there's that.
Neat, I hadn't realized they'd brought out a comic recently.
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Ken
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Re: A Grumpy Old Man Reviews: Masters of the Universe Revelations

Post by Ken »

There was an episode of the original series, "The Rainbow Warrior," that broadly indicates that Queen Marlena knows her son's secret.

First part of the episode is about Marlena's trip to Eternia from Earth, and how her space ship is in a museum now. She stays to reminisce privately while Randor, Adam, Duncan, Teela, Orko start back to the palace from the museum. Skeletor and crew attack and manage to capture Randor, Adam, et al., but not Marlena. Marlena uses her old spaceship to mount a rescue attempt alongside the "leaderless" troops. Curiously, when she uses the ship's weapons to start freeing her family and the royal guard, she starts with Adam.

She gets interrupted by Skeletor's forces, so Adam is the only one free, but Adam "goes for help", and sure enough he "finds" He-Man. Bada-bing bada-boom, the day is saved. At the end of the episode, Adam asks his mum why she freed him first. She replies something to the effect of "a mother always knows her son".

So Marlena knowing Adams' secret is one thing that Smith actually got right.
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