Jab’s Builds! (Whomp 'Em! Plumbers Don't Wear Ties! ToeJam & Earl!)

[Woodclaw]

-She-Cat is a large, muscular, male-looking female cat-person, cloned from White Tiger II (who in Heroes For Hire was then an uplifted tiger created by the High Evolutionary). She did a lot of growling and posturing, but White Tiger defeated her off-panel.

As much as I liked certain aspects of this book (Dane getting his full on Avalon/Paladin/Pendragon upgrade, Heroes For Hire being a full on team with heroes to meet specific job requirements), you can copy and paste "_______ happens off-panel" a LOT during the books run. Ostrander had some kind of weird pacing issues where things just seemed to move super fast, like he had more story than he knew how to cram into his allotted page count, so he cut corners by having things be very rushed, happen off panel or suffer from heavy exposition. In concept it was a great book, but in execution it was kind of a mess, which is a shame.

Again, Heroes for Hire as a full on, 6+ member team is a fun concept, one that lends itself to a larger squad where the team members are carefully selected for each job or mission. Even things like She-Hulk being the team's lawyer allowed Heroes for Hire to take on LEGAL cases as well as having Jen around for muscle. Likewise, the Black Knight being elevated to the Paladin of the Pendragon Spirit was the most powerful, competent and important the character has ever been, which is why it's annoying that everyone keeps 'back to basics'-ing him to wielding a sword he got rid of specifically because it was more trouble than it was worth. To say nothing of how modern books treat Dane as a joke instead of a modern day science knight.

This version of Heroes for Hire honestly could have worked great as a way to keep circulating and using lesser known heroes and try to give them some exposure. So yeah, it's kind of a shame the concept didn't survive the 90s comic implosion. Ostrander probably needed a co-writer to do the heavy lifting while he'd help plot things out, because he had a lot of solid concepts that sadly went nowhere.

In short, it was what Ostrander do best, creating stories for C-listers.

[Jabroniville]

"Men have feelings, TOOOOOOO;
May I share mine... with YOUUUU?"
*is attacked by bear*

DAVID VAN DRIESSEN
Played By: Mike Judge
Role: Hippie Teacher
PL 0 (11), PL 1 (11) Saves
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Educator) 1 (+3)
Expertise (Singing & Guitar) 4 (+4)
Perception 1 (+3)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +2

Complications:
Relationship (Beavis & Butt-Head)- Mr. Van Driessen remains the only teacher who has not given up on the boys, and frequently tries to lecture them about proper behavior. As he's generally a spineless wuss, he fails.
Responsibility (Hippie)- Van Driessen is a weakling and avoids confrontation, rarely punishing Beavis & Butt-Head for their actions, and rejecting violence.
Responsibility (Students)- The only thing that can bring out the violence in Van Driessen is threatening his students. When he sees Mr. Manners grab Butt-Head in rage, it ends in a vicious slap-fight.

Total: Abilities: 8 / Skills: 6--3 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 0 (11)

-Possibly the only positive influence on the boys' lives, Mr. Van Driessen is still an ineffectual hippie, prone to singing goofy '60s songs instead of providing any real help- his attempts to convince the boys to be empathetic, concerned citizens naturally always fell on deaf ears. The show took great efforts to make him suffer, as well- when he pays the boys a shoddy fee to clean his house, they proceed to destroy his priceless collection of 8-tracks (the only time he professed a need to be violent with them), and he's violently assaulted by government agents in the movie, simply for having a connection to them- this interrupts his rendition of Lesbian Seagull. And the time he sang a song called Men Have Feelings Too and was then attacked by a bear. He can't even get LAID thanks to them- his various attempts to seduce women (using hippie platitudes, of course) are almost always ruined by the boys' incessant laughter and interference.

-In one of the show's best moments, Van Driessen leaves the class with "Mr. Manners" (played by David Spade), who attempts to teach proper decorum to everyone. As his students include BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD, this goes completely awry and the boys drive Mr. Manners into a fury- Van Driessen returns to the class with Mr. Manners holding Beavis by the collar, and immediately gets between them. "Did he hit you, Beavis?", he asks, and when the boys lie and throw Mr. Manners under the bus, it turns into a SISSY SLAP FIGHT, with the entire class cheering as the two noodle-armed men pull hair and slap each other in the face until their scrap leaves the classroom.

-Judge based the voice off of a TV reporter who interviewed a friend of his with this nasal, weak, effeminate voice, using phrases like "It must have been SO inspirational for a boy from Texas to be invited to share cultures with the people of Europe, and to share your culture with them".

-Mr. Van Driessen is depicted as a somewhat competent teacher, recognizing the intelligence of Daria, and even getting the boys the occasional lesson. It never takes, but pairing them up with Daria actually results in them getting a half-decent grade for once.

[Woodclaw]

I always prefered Daria to Beavis and Butthead, mostly because her brand on cynical humor clicked with me a lot more.
I recognize that the boys are a pretty seminal product of their era, but I really can't find anything interesting in their brand of idioticity.

[drkrash]

I, by contrast, enjoyed Daria and LOVE Beavis & Butthead. I saw the original series multiple times. Then I watched the first 1-2 eps of the re-boot and thought it was horrible (and thought it an especially odd choice to have them comment on a clip from Human Centipede). The new series - now in Season 2 - is much more a return to form. I watch it with my 17- and 14-year old sons and we fall off the couch laughing sometimes.

[Jabroniville]

Coach Buzzcut: If they do laugh, they'll be expelled, and they'll have to go to Hope High School where they'll get their asses kicked on a daily basis by all the other delinquents. Well, I was real glad to hear that, because this is sex education week. That's right, sex-ed week! We're gonna be talkin' about the PENIS! We'll be talkin' about the VAGINA! Do you think that's funny, Butt-head? Do you find it amusing that we'll be talkin' about the TESTICLES? Yes, we're also gonna be talkin' about VENEREAL DISEASE! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! THE SCROTUM! THE CLITORIS! And we will definitely be spending a LOT of time talking about MASTURBATION!

COACH BRADLEY BUZZCUT
Played By: Mike Judge
Role: Angry Teacher, Drill Sergeant Nasty
PL 5 (59)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 2
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Athletics 4 (+6)
Deception 4 (+4)
Expertise (Teacher) 2 (+3)
Expertise (Military) 5 (+6)
Insight 1 (+3)
Intimidation 7 (+7)
Perception 2 (+4)

Advantages:
Daze (Intimidation), Last Stand (Ignores Damage For One Round With 1 HP Spent), Startle, Ranged Attack 3

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +4, Will +3

Complications:
Enemy (Beavis & Butt-Head)- Coach Buzzcut openly despises the boys, and enjoys punishing them physically, as well as screaming at them.
Temper- Buzzcut is a violent person who enjoys seeing others hurt. He once told his class to beat up a student from the gifted class for no reason.

Total: Abilities: 36 / Skills: 26--13 / Advantages: 6 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 4 (59)

-Coach Buzzcut was your typical Ex-Military teacher-type, generally one of the few people who CONSTANTLY screamed at the boys, throwing medicine balls at their nuts to see if they had "athletic supporters" on, or making horrendous demands of them. Once, to prove his toughness, he commanded Butt-Head to "Kick me in the JIMMY!", and when Butt-Head planted one straight in his 'nads, Buzzcut just turned red, shuddered, and screamed "YYYYYESSSSSSSSSS!". The boys actually confess to a few of his outbursts to be "cool!", but he despises both of them- he and Principal McVicker even join forces to ensure the boys are humiliated, stripped down to their underwear in front of their fellow students. A similar character appears on Daria with a short-tempered male teacher.

-Coach Buzzcut is an unusually strong character in the series, having a high tolerance for pain (Last Stand!) and physical intimidation.

[Jabroniville]

PRINCIPAL McVICKER
Played By: Mike Judge
Role: The Alcholic, Angry Principal, Major Victim
PL 0 (0)
STRENGTH 0 STAMINA -1 AGILITY -1
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Expertise (Educator) 2 (+3)

Advantages:
Benefit (Principal)

Powers:
"Wall of Fat" Protection 1 [1]

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative -1

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude -1, Will +0

Complications:
Enemy (Beavis & Butt-Head)- McVicker openly despises the two boys, and when he thinks that they're dead, he declares a day of celebration.

Total: Abilities: -4 / Skills: 2--1 / Advantages: 1 / Powers: 1 / Defenses: 1 (0)

-It's only natural that students as idiotic as Beavis & Butt-Head would have the entire faculty against them, and a major victim is Principal McVicker (aka "McDICKER"). Based off of an alcoholic band teacher of Judge's, right down to the trademark stuttering "U-uhhhhh..." and random angry spouting-off, McVicker was the worst of the educators, and thus got the worst of the boys' abuse. He frequently suffers because of their antics (he's beaten by the Secret Service when he charges in on B&B when they're interviewing Bill Clinton), and in the initial Series Finale, he suffers what looks to be a final heart attack. Nonetheless, he can be clever once in a while, like when he and Coach Buzzcut set up the boys to be humiliated on school grounds (he lured them out of the gym showers in their underpants under the guise of a fire drill).

[Spectrum]

-Judge based the voice off of a TV reporter who interviewed a friend of his with this nasal, weak, effeminate voice, using phrases like "It must have been SO inspirational for a boy from Texas to be invited to share cultures with the people of Europe, and to share your culture with them".

One of my 'lame claims to fame' is that I took an undergrad anthropology (focused on US subcultures) class from Mike Judge's parents. I don't recall much (25+ years ago) but I do remember fun sections on the Roma, the Appalachian snake churches, and the Native American high steel workers.

Oh, and getting introduced to the Snake video game on an early cellphone!

[Jabroniville]

STEWART STEVENSEN
Played By: Adam Welsh (original), Thomas Middleditch (Season 8), Mike Judge (revival)
Role: The Loser Kid
PL 0 (-7)
STRENGTH -1 STAMINA -1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS -2 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Expertise (Pop Culture) 2 (+2)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +0

Complications:
Relationship (Beavis & Butt-Head)- The young Stewart looks up to the "Cool older kids", often palling around with them and trying to hang out. They despise him, and often frame him for their own antics. However, one time his association with them got him laid by an entire cult of hot chicks.
Responsibility (Horrible Judge of Character)- Stewart thinks BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD are cool.
Relationship (Parents)- Stewart is horribly-dependent upon his parents, and they baby him greatly.

Total: Abilities: -10 / Skills: 2--1 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 2 (-7)

-Stewart was meant to be an impressionable young kid who actually WANTED to hang around Beavis & Butt-Head- they would respond to his adoration with cruel insults and abusive behavior, particularly when they framed him for the "Couch Fishing" incident ("It was him, officer. We tried to stop him, but he was like, hitting us and stuff"). Generally, Stewart and his clueless, worrisome parents would be victimized by the heartless duo (they demolished his house looking for sugar, and Butt-Head openly lusts after Stewart's mom). In a bit of situational irony, the boys have the same relationship with the older male THEY admire; Todd. It's shown that in a world where Butt-Head never existed, Stewart & Beavis are close friends who actually help the homeless, because nobody was around to destroy their self-esteem.

-Lesson to celebrities everywhere: if someone makes fun of you on a TV show, don't make a big stink about it. When Kip Winger, lead singer of Winger, was heard complaining to everyone who would listen about Beavis & Butt-Head making fun of a Winger video on their show (Mike Judge respected some bands, but felt that Winger were a "bunch of posers"), the showrunners decided to stick the knife in EVEN MORE, putting Stewart, the LEAST-COOL KID IN THE SERIES, in a t-shirt that proudly displayed the band's name. Apparently Judge would learn later that Winger DIDN'T complain about them (though I’ve read a book on MTV where someone described Kip edging to an MTV exec about it), but the damage was already done. Beavis & Butt-Head had made them seem so uncool that their concerts almost immediately dropped attendance; the band was ruined.

[Jabroniville]

-Judge based the voice off of a TV reporter who interviewed a friend of his with this nasal, weak, effeminate voice, using phrases like "It must have been SO inspirational for a boy from Texas to be invited to share cultures with the people of Europe, and to share your culture with them".

One of my 'lame claims to fame' is that I took an undergrad anthropology (focused on US subcultures) class from Mike Judge's parents. I don't recall much (25+ years ago) but I do remember fun sections on the Roma, the Appalachian snake churches, and the Native American high steel workers.

Oh, and getting introduced to the Snake video game on an early cellphone!

Ah, that was you! I knew someone on here had been a student of Mrs. Judge at least, but forgot who it was.

[Jabroniville]

TODD IANUZZI
Played By: Mike Judge (original), Toby Huss (update)
Role: Young Punk, Delinquent
PL 5 (47)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 3
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE -1 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Athletics 4 (+6)
Deception 2 (+3)
Expertise (Criminal) 4 (+3)
Intimidation 5 (+6)
Perception 1 (+1)

Advantages:
Chokehold, Equipment 2 (Plymouth Duster), Fast Grab

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Initiative +2

Defenses:
Dodge +3 (DC 13), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +4, Will +2

Complications:
Relationship (Beavis & Butt-Head)- The boys constantly want to hang out with Todd and join his "gang", but Todd despises both of them. He finds them useful on occasion, but generally he will insult the "turds" on sight, or just beat the crap out of them.
Temper- Todd is a violent psychopath, prone to assaulting anyone who even casually insults him. He even worked over a guy whose car he ran into.

Total: Abilities: 32 / Skills: 16--8 / Advantages: 4 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 3 (47)

-Todd is a pretty good example of the kind of guy that teen boys idolize, but all adults resent: the nasty, hard-drinking, violent asshole. Naturally, Beavis & Butt-Head instantly fall in love with him (with hearts floating above their heads and everything!), even though he'd just kicked their asses! Todd is based off of a nasty teenage bully who lived in Mike Judge's neighborhood and raised hell, ripping up people's lawns with his motorcycle- that natural hateful energy made a perfect antagonist for the boys, even while they yearned to become "part of his gang"- the joke of course being that the boys were too stupid to see that Todd clearly despised both of them as hangers-on and losers (much like they saw Stewart), and frequently assaulted them. One time, he even nailed Butt-Head's "wife" (a mail-order bride) in the back of his Plymouth Duster! However, Butt-Head took some solace in the fact that since Todd was banging his wife, if "sort of makes us related!"

-In the 2011 revival, Todd shows up a couple times, once getting arrested and showing up in court for assaulting a former friend of his. Beavis & Butt-Head are brought in as witnesses to the event, and they're of course too dumb to realize that bragging about this "cool" incident is actually gonna get Todd in trouble. Thankfully for Todd, his lawyer is able to completely destroy the credibility of the boys simply by listing the hundreds of things they've done wrong in the past years and Todd gets away with it. The boys are nonetheless surprised when Todd is still infuriated that they took the stand against him, beating them mercilessly.

-Todd is actually a fairly pricey character, as he's established in-universe as a violent brawler and a great fighter. Not just pummelling the boys (which almost anyone could do, and has), but other biker-types.

[Jabroniville]

I always prefered Daria to Beavis and Butthead, mostly because her brand on cynical humor clicked with me a lot more.
I recognize that the boys are a pretty seminal product of their era, but I really can't find anything interesting in their brand of idioticity.

Well you'll be happy to know that Daria builds will be immediately following these ones, much like they did way back when I posted these on the Atomic Think Tank (yes, they're THAT old!).

[Jabroniville]

It is impossible to deal with “Beavis and Butt-Head Do America” without first dealing with Beavis and Butt-Head themselves. The real subject of the film is attitude, because B&B are *about* attitude. What actually happens is of little importance, since Beavis and Butt-Head are so stupid and sublimely self-absorbed that the exterior world has little reality except as an annoyance or distraction.

It would be easy to attack B&B as ignorant, vulgar, depraved, repulsive slobs. Of course they are. But that would miss the point, which is that Mike Judge's characters reflect parts of the society that produced them. To study B&B is to learn about a culture of narcissism, alienation, functional illiteracy, instant gratification and television zombiehood. Those who deplore Beavis and Butt-Head are confusing the messengers with the message.

For B&B, happiness is easily defined. It consists of sitting side by side on a sofa, watching television, which they dimly perceive as containing images of food, drink, mayhem and large breasts. As long as the TV is on and they are supplied with food and drink, B&B see no need to move. They would be as happy in prison, assuming the set was working. (The movie shows an album of old photos of B&B growing up; we see them as infants, toddlers, children, teenagers, etc.--always on the couch, watching TV).

Early in Mike Judge's “Beavis and Butt-Head Do America,” there is a funny sequence in which their television is stolen. This becomes apparent to B&B after a time, because they realize that they are looking at the place where the TV should be, and it is not there. As this fact sinks in, they grow restless and disturbed. Beavis (or Butt-Head; I forget) tries to reconstruct the crime, and the movie shows a series of shots: (1) broken window, (2) missing TV, (3) footprints leading from window to where TV was, (4) footprints leading out the open door. Then the movie repeats this series of shots a second time, and then a third time, and then the series is broken up into closeups, for closer study. Eventually the clues are correctly deciphered: The set is not there because it has been stolen! This sequence is brilliant in the way it illustrates the mental capabilities of B&B, who between them have the I.Q. of a cork.
-Roger Ebert's Review of the film

BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA:

-This movie is a CLASSIC. I saw it at the absolute peak of my fandom (as did a few of my friends), and basically just laughed from beginning till end. The main plot is your standard "Big Damn Movie" thing, but of course parodies it, as the boys are so clinically-stupid that the entire thing flies over their heads. Basically, they end up getting sent on a mission to Washington, carrying a deadly virus on Beavis' person, after two arms dealers manipulate them. They travel across America on a tour, missing all of the great beauty of the nation because they're distracted by puerile things (a donkey crapping- "it's coming out of the ASS... of the ASS!", a description of how petrified "wood became hard", funny town names like "Bald Knob", and automatic-flushing urinals), ending up in Washington, where a force of Government Agents has been hunting them since the beginning.

SO MUCH of this works. The '70s-sounding theme song. The boys getting distracted from all of Vegas by a nude statue. Robert Stack as the ultra-serious FBI Agent. Beavis setting off a massive 40-car pile-up. Beavis hallucinating on peyote to imagine a Rob Zombie-inspired music video. Mr. Van Driessen singing Lesbian Seagull to the students, then getting the butt-end of a rifle slammed into his gut. The completely anticlimactic ending ("uhh... here ya go."). Beavis' two transformations into The Great Cornholio. Butt-Head hitting on Chelsea Clinton. All the classic mid-'90s music.

[Jabroniville]

Agent Bork: "Chief! You know that guy whose camper they were whackin' off in?"
Agent Flemming: "Bork! You are a federal agent! You represent the United States government! NEVER END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION."
-possibly the finest joke in all history

ATF AGENT FLEMMING
Played By: Robert Stack
Role: Unflappable Detective, The Straight Man, Grammar Nazi
PL 4 (56)
STRENGTH 1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 3
INTELLIGENCE 3 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Athletics 2 (+3)
Deception 2 (+3)
Expertise (ATF Agent) 7 (+10)
Insight 1 (+4)
Intimidation 3 (+4)
Investigation 7 (+10)
Perception 2 (+5)

Advantages:
Benefit (ATF Agent), Equipment 2 (Pistol- Blast 5), Ranged Attack 2

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Pistol +5 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +1, Fortitude +2, Will +5

Complications:
Motivation (Saving Lives)- As an ATF Agent, Flemming is devoted to saving lives. When he discovers that Beavis & Butt-Head are carrying the deadly X-5 Unit, he makes it his sole mission to find them and end their threat once and for all.
Enemy (The Grimes Family)- Muddy & Dallas are old nemeses of Flemming.
Responsibility (Good Grammar)- Flemming will not put up with any of his damn Agents, representatives of the United States government, using improper grammar.
Obsession (Cavity Searches)- Flemming ALWAYS demands cavity searches of any people linked to his cases. "Nice and deep!" is the usual cry, though in Butt-Head's case, he insisted on a HUGE one- "Don't stop until you reach the back of his teeth!"

Total: Abilities: 32 / Skills: 24--12 / Advantages: 5 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 7 (56)

-Agent Flemming was AWESOME in this movie- the ultimate straight-man to Beavis & Butt-Head's insane antics. Robert Stack didn't quite "get" the jokes according to the Audio Commentary, but was game anyways, and his straight-laced delivery just make the lines all the funnier. His Grammar Nazi moment above may be my single favourite thing in any movie ever- the fact that a guy would choose a moment THAT IMPORTANT to interrupt the investigation and correct somebody about their grammar, and the fact that poor Bork had to do verbal flip-flops to get it right, makes this what Judge called "the favourite moment even for people who hate Beavis & Butt-Head". He jokes that he wrote it for his mom, an English teacher.

[Ares]

I'll probably be in the minority, but I never really cared for either Beavis and Butt-Head or Daria. While I can enjoy films and stories about unlikable protagonists, for longer series where I need to keep coming back there needs to be something about at least one of the protagonists that I like, and honestly? I couldn't stand Beavis, Butt-Head or Daria. Daria was more tolerable than the duo, but honestly? Daria wasn't much more fun for me. And I get it, these shows are satires, over the top representations of things to get a point across. But after decades of what feels like progressively more mean spirited deconstructions, "subverting expectations", take thats and the like, shows like Beavis and Butt Head/Daria hold even less appeal for me. It's just not my flavor of humor, and not very 'fun' for me.

[Jabroniville]

MUDDY GRIMES
Played By: Bruce Willis
Role: Degenerate Criminal, Alcoholic Asshole
PL 6 (48)
STRENGTH 2 STAMINA 3 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 6 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE -1 AWARENESS 0 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Athletics 2 (+4)
Deception 5 (+5)
Expertise (Criminal) 8 (+7)
Intimidation 5 (+5)

Advantages:
Chokehold, Equipment 3 (Shotgun- Blast 6), Ranged Attack 3

Offense:
Unarmed +6 (+2 Damage, DC 17)
Shotgun +5 (+6 Ranged Damage, DC 21)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +4 (DC 14), Parry +6 (DC 16), Toughness +3, Fortitude +4, Will +2

Complications:
Addiction (Alcohol)- Muddy is constantly seen drinking throughout the movie.
Temper- Muddy is prone to bouts of anger, probably because of his drinking.
Relationship (Dallas- Wife)- Muddy wants his wife dead for leaving him with nothing after their last big score, but still finds himself prone to her wiles.

Total: Abilities: 24 / Skills: 20--10 / Advantages: 7 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 7 (48)

-Muddy is kind of the impetus for most of the film- when the boys go looking for their stolen TV, they come across Muddy, who had coincidentally been waiting for two "young" guys who were going to be hired to kill his wife. However, his dialogue with them was ambiguous ("10,000 bucks to DO my wife!"), leading the boys on a merry journey across America to find Dallas Grimes, then go to Washington with a deadly virus-packing unit in Beavis' pants (HUH-HUH, I'VE got a "virus-packing unit" in my pants, too! HUH-HUH).

-Muddy's a violent, slovenly alcoholic (played with drooling aplomb by Bruce Willis) who is pretty sloppy with his work (he thinks BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD are trustworthy pawns, and doesn't notice that they've used a car-jack to open the trunk of his vehicle), but is still rather tough. He'd have had Dallas dead to rights if she hadn't seduced him. It's a bit funny how these two managed to set off a national manhunt and threaten all society.